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Thread: Pumpkin Plays Ace Attorney

  1. #1
    Pinkasaurus Rex Cid's Knight Pumpkin's Avatar
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    Default Pumpkin Plays Ace Attorney

    So I'm going to LP this or I'll keep forgetting about it -_- Also I have been a busy bee, so updates may not be very often

    Keep in mind I am not good at these types of games. So please make this a safe and supportive space and not a mean and unsafe space, thank you! Happy times!

    So let us start the game!



    GASP



    I think that woman was murdered



    I think that man is a murderer



    He looks like he has a bullet hole in his forehead



    Ugh, it's too early for this



    So that is Mia and this is Phoenix Wright's first case. Who even has a name like that?



    I apparently knew the defendant before this case



    Alright then



    Well, he's guilty, case closed, let's all go for some milkshakes



    Oh, he's not actually...




    ugh *rubs temples*

    Okay



    We got that



    So the trial starts



    He gives me a pop quiz and I pass! A++

    I also get a court record junk stuff



    I like her hair



    I can't tell if that's tacky or cool. YOU DECIDE! I've just made this an interactive Let's Play



    And we all know that those were the stablest of all couples throughout history



    That's the spirit!



    So here, Mr. Payne (who has my boyfriend's name; can we sue for royalties?) says "I think we can tell what type of woman she was" or whatever, which quite frankly I find crappy. If she was single, which she appears to have been since she dumped Mr. Butz, she is an adult woman who can can have these arrangements if she wants to.

    Anywho, the defendant gets all antsy and says he'll see her in hell which is... I mean

    He's a little unbalanced isn't he?



    I tell him to answer honestly, and he says he went



    Hmm



    Oh it was that guy, he was the killer

    Case closed, let's go get sundaes.

    Oh, apparently I have to "prove it" or some junk. Can I just show them the first few minutes of the game? No?



    This is probably important. It's a shame I'm busy watching Criminal Minds





    This is a good episode, I like this one. It's the one where Hotch has to deal with his marriage falling apart and-



    Oh is there new evidence? Alright



    Oh, am I supposed to... am I supposed to do stuff now?



    They really get in to this, don't they?

    Now see, he said this



    Which conflicts with the murder time, so I say






    Oh that wasn't it was it



    YEAH SO



    I <3 Hotch, he's my TV crush







    I'm a good lawyer



    That's kind of sketchy because



    YEAH





    He says he saw it on the table clock



    That's funny because I thought the murder weapon was a maybe tacky, maybe cool statue



    YEAH



    Apparently you can have it say the time by like, giving it a neck massage and sacrificing a chicken or something



    Yes, indeed, yes, myes, mhmm, yas, quite so, indeed, mm



    A HA



    No context needed



    The clock said it was like 8:25



    A HA

    The clock is lying. THE CLOCK IS THE KILLER!!!!!!!1!!!1!1!!1!!







    I dunno. Doesn't matter

    Apparently it does though because Phoenix gets all "OH NO MY LYFE WHY ME AAAGGGAHAHAJHSJKAHS"



    Hello, teacher



    Yes, we... we all knew that



    CASE





    CLOSED!!



    And that is where we will stop for now

    I am top lawyer A++++ 100%

  2. #2
    'Just Friends' Formalhaut's Avatar
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    Ah, I love this series. And your GIFs are hilarious, can I just say.

    Keep up the good work, lawyer!


  3. #3

  4. #4
    Pinkasaurus Rex Cid's Knight Pumpkin's Avatar
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    Let's finish up the last case and get started on the new one



    Really? A newspaper salesman? That's kind of lame. He could have at least pretended to be Aquaman or something



    And then he bludgeoned her over the head and killed her and now she is dead forever.



    Yes, let us ~celebrate~



    Yes, Larry, you should be happy! Your lover is dead and gone forever and you just went through a traumatic trial in which you were accused of murdering her while your defense was a newb lawyer who needed his friend to help him out! And none of this changes the fact that you'll never see Cindy again

    WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY LARRY?!?!



    He decides to give Miss Cleavage Lawyer and statue for helping him. The one like the murder weapon. That's not creepy or anything.



    He made two of them so this is not the actual murder weapon


    Because THAT would be weird



    I have to present evidence outside of court now to prove that she cared about him



    So what do I just keep the murder weapon on me now, or...?



    It's heavy, she cared, Larry calls me Nick, yada yada



    I feel like Mia is trying to tell me something but I just.... can't...

    Oh well, if only she wasn't being so criptic



    Yay

    The world was saved and we can all move on with our lives and go get cheesecake



    What, there's more?



    Hi Maya, this is Pumpkin



    Why is her name still ??? WE KNOW HER NAME

    HER NAME IS MAYA



    "So you keep the dangerous evidence"



    The papers are the real evidence





    DUN DUN DUUUNNNN



    Oh no, Maya... I mean ??? is scheduled to arrive any minute! AND THE DOOR IS AJAR

    There's always trouble when a door is ajar



    Is that you Maya? Or is this a different ???



    Say papers one more time



    Do you gather information.... on papers?



    Yeah, that's what you get for dressing like that




    There's some dark humour for your day

    Moving on,



    You're about to kill a woman and that's the best you could come up with? Really?



    Jeez, no wonder he's a murderer, look at that hair



    I guess we'll find out what happens NEXT TIME

  5. #5
    Pinkasaurus Rex Cid's Knight Pumpkin's Avatar
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    Time for some more stuffidy duff



    OR BEEN MURDERED!!!!



    BUT THEN SHE WAS MURDERED!!!!



    So he smells blood and I have this Examine and Move thing going on. So I move in to the office



    Oh dear



    WHERE SHE WAS MURDERED!!!!!!!!!

    No, I'm kidding, can you imagine

    So I go examine the dead body and it's still warm and that's not creepy or anything



    The examining continues without me doing anything



    It's better than... not dying instantly I guess



    Those friggin clocks



    So I finally get control again and check the paper



    Ew

    So apparently it's time to call the police, although I do poke around a bit first.



    A CLUE?!



    Geez that woman. Be any more pink, can you?

    So she calls the cops and I head back out to check on Maya



    Well she suddenly appears before me



    She tells me about the phone call and how she got here and it was dark and she found Mia



    And then, in case it wasn't pounded in to our head enough, she specifies that she was her sister



    So I apparently decide to show her the receipt because I'm twisted like that



    And then the cops show up






    They didn't even try, there

    So he sees the note



    Is it even possible to have a detective this bad?



    WE GET IT, THEY'RE SISTERS, SAY IT ANOTHER 18 TIMES



    So I go talk to Maya during visiting hours. Maya, in case it wasn't clear, is Mia's sister. Her sister.

    She's her sister



    So I get an option here



    And I select the first one because... well why wouldn't I



    And then Maya tells me about how Mia told her about me



    And she said to not use him for another 3 years unless she wanted to end up in jail. Ah well, more free time for me





    Apparently this is a good time to criticize her fashion sense?

    She says it's nothing strange, just...



    Nope. Not strange at all





    Apparently Mia also had a strong spiritual connection or something. Because they're family. Mia is her sister. Maya is the sister of Mia. They are related in a sisterly manner, as they remind me once again



    Well that is pretty excellent



    ffs Maya

    So she gives me a note reminding me to ask the detective about it because it's been made clear to me that this game thinks I suffer from short term memory loss



    Yeah this is not

    I'm just going to not pay attention to any of this

    So Maya gives me a thingy for a famous lawyer



    And so I have to quickly head on over, hope this guy takes the case, and then head back quickly before visiting hours are over

    So looking forward to that *cough*

  6. #6
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    I guess now Mia and Maya are....



    Get it? Because they're sisters? And one is dead? And the other is a medium? Because mediums contact spirits? Like a dead sister? Because they're sisters?


    You don't get it.

  7. #7
    'Just Friends' Formalhaut's Avatar
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    Ace Attorney does love to gloss over the post-trial counselling sessions.


  8. #8
    Witch of Theatergoing Karifean's Avatar
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    Wait this was a thing!? Goddamnit EoFF don't just randomly mark topics as read because I'm gone for two weeks!

    Seems to be on hiatus now, but hey this is a pretty neat idea.

    PLOT TWIST THEY'RE SISTERS.

  9. #9
    Pinkasaurus Rex Cid's Knight Pumpkin's Avatar
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    xD

    I'm still playing, don't worry. I've just been super busy with school and stuff. I should have an update this week

  10. #10

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    Diego Armando has a laserface. How cool is that.

  11. #11
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karifean View Post
    Goddamnit EoFF don't just randomly mark topics as read because I'm gone for two weeks!
    You think THAT'S bad? Try being gone for a month.

    The gifs are better than the objections.

    Yeah. I said it.

  12. #12
    Pinkasaurus Rex Cid's Knight Pumpkin's Avatar
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    Update time!

    So when we left off I was supposed to go recruit some lawyer for Maya I guess because it would just be too simple if they just made me do it without running around first.



    Nothing like being named Grossberg. So Grossberg is out, apparently.



    Not so. Being a video game character, I stay and snoop around for a bit.



    Me too. It's pretty pretentious. Also the guy has like a gold lighter and stuff.

    So I head back to the office because uhh... because it was an option.



    No...



    Still not right...

    Well so uhh he wants to make sure I know his name because... because I don't know. Clearly names aren't important to him.



    Which means I get to snoop around, I guess



    He says they can't just show that to people but then he gives me the autopsy



    This is pleasant



    All of this is apparently quite upsetting to Mr. Gumshoe



    Apparently he'll do back-alley forged evidence deals. Sounds like a stand up fellow



    Because most people like crime.

    So I ask about the phone thing



    So I want the phone but he doesn't want to give me the phone. So I uh mention the strap



    So he decides to give me the phone because the strap might be a collector's item



    Yeah sure. So now I have the phone and the phone call recording



    I think I should talk to the witness



    He also tells me where she is so I can find her


    I seriously have a hard time believing that anyone could be this stupid. This has to be on purpose, I can't even...




    She looks like a pink hamster



    You heard it here first folks, murder is exciting.



    *cricket*



    So I decide to snoop around the room because video game morals



    Oh my. Women don't use tools!!! If that's not sketchy, I don't know what is!



    Now she's a crazy hamster



    Because there's no way a woman just wants some privacy or something. Nope. Must be up to something sketchy.



    Obvs. We've already established that she is a woman and therefore screwdriverless in her natural state

    And the window



    I dunno, maybe that's important



    So she starts hitting on me



    And starts sassing me





    So now I head back to see if Grossburg has returned



    he tells me we can totes chat cuz he's not busy or nufin



    He makes a face



    Now he's suddenly busy

    It takes much conversation before he finally reveals what's going on



    Just in case you forgot. Also, this is the third time it's been mentioned within a period of 20 minutes



    GOOD THING I'M NOT WORTH ANY SALT!!!!

    So Mia



    I think I'm supposed to care what this is but I don't care what this is

    And his painting



    He is super pumped about his painting

    So now it's time to head back to see Maya





    THAT'S the best lie I could come up with

    For a lawyer he's awfully bad at lying



    HOW DID SHE CRACK MY CODE?!?



    Oh gosh this again



    Some dude ruined her mother's life



    They live on a mountain for goodness sake



    Yeah sure, that makes sense

    That totally makes sense!



    "I know you're being accused of murder and need a lawyer in like 10 minutes, but tell me about your painful family history?"



    DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING FROM A MILE AWAY OR ANYTHING



    Because she has the E.S.P.N.



    Are we... are we not addressing the fact that your mother got an innocent man convicted of murder? The fact that even though he was proven innocent, it still tends to have an absurdly bad impact on a person's personal life and career because of how terrible and judgmental people are as a whole? Not to mention the mental trauma of going through a court case, being accused in the first place, and probably losing his job and maybe even his family? No, not talking about that part? Alright



    And that is where we will end off for now. Next I have a choice to be her lawyer or to like go enjoy my weekend or something and I doubt that second one is a legitimate option

    STAY TUNED!!!!

    Or I'll find you

  13. #13
    'Just Friends' Formalhaut's Avatar
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    I love your commentary. Please continue, this is hilarious!


  14. #14
    Pinkasaurus Rex Cid's Knight Pumpkin's Avatar
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    Okay a small update for now, hopefully I can get another one up sooner rather than later.



    So I figure I probably shouldn't pick go home as tempting as it is



    That's...

    Okay

    She asks me why and then he gets all... memoryish



    The paycheck?



    Then I would think you would have went in to non-profit for the people who actually have no one on their side and not enough money for a lawyer such as yourself, but what do I know



    She says she is

    BUT SHE LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    No, she doesn't, but that would have been quite a plot twist



    I understand in the context of this story that the woman is actually hiding something, but in general it's pretty stupid to think someone is hiding something and being a criminal because they DON'T LIKE STRANGE MEN GOING THROUGH THEIR DRAWERS WHEN THEY AREN'T LOOKING

    Anyways, I show Maya that I recovered her phone



    And then she cries. And being a man, since we're stereotyping, I decide that's the best time to get out of there



    So I decide to head back to the hotel because I'm not good at this game and have no idea what else to do



    OH MY GOSH I'M AN AWFUL LAWYER



    So many people bad at their jobs today



    Yeah, after she ruined that first guy's life! The monster!

    So I go snooping in this woman's drawer. Could they come up with more M names for women?

    If this woman wasn't a criminal I would feel absolutely awful for her. This is twice now that I go in to her room and try to shuffle through her private things.



    I don't even know what to make of that assumption



    WHO IS HE TALKING TO

    So anyways, I decide I'm going to use this as court evidence?!?! I'm pretty sure I just committed theft?!?! Is that even admissible in court??????



    Yeah so



    And I figure that's a good place to leave it for now. Any tips for the upcoming trial? I'm not so good at the lawyering

  15. #15
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Have Phoenix give the judge a lap dance.

    Works every time.

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