Worst Fast Food

[Sephex]

See I'm lucky, my Burger King is not owned by a franchise owner but it's corporately owned so it's actually really good. So I think that may have to do with a lot of places.

I'm personally not a fan of Long John Silvers. A fast food fish place is just.. weird.

I had simultaneously the best and worst bathroom experience of my life because of Long John Silvers.

[Formalhaut]

I had simultaneously the best and worst bathroom experience of my life because of Long John Silvers.

You're aware you can't just leave a statement like that hanging?

[Fynn]

I had simultaneously the best and worst bathroom experience of my life because of Long John Silvers.

You're aware you can't just leave a statement like that hanging?

I actually think elaborating on that would ruin it. It's best as it is - mysterious and titilating.

[Sephex]

I had simultaneously the best and worst bathroom experience of my life because of Long John Silvers.

You're aware you can't just leave a statement like that hanging?

I actually think elaborating on that would ruin it. It's best as it is - mysterious and titilating.

It's not much, but I'll tell. Might be a bit gross for some, so here is your warning for that. Don't worry, though I'll try to not be super gross.

So this was about a decade ago when I was in the best shape I have ever been in my entire adult life. I lost a lot of weight through unhealthy means, but once I lost it I started to eat more reasonably again. Regardless, I still stayed away from fast food very often. I was so hardcore in terms of eating properly that I literally drank nothing but water. I wasn't a drinker back then, and I cut soft drinks entirely out of my diet.

So I had a girlfriend at the time that wanted to eat at Long John Silvers. I didn't have any fast food for a bit, so I figured why not? Plus, I never had food from that place before. We bring back the food to my room in my parent's house (man, this did happen awhile ago).

Not too long after I finished my meal, I began to feel terrible. If I were a drinker back then I would compare it to your body feeling like you had a hangover in an instant. I began to sweat like crazy. I was playing a video game and I paused it suddenly and hunched over. The then girlfriend asked what's wrong and I told her that I didn't think the food was mixing well. I ran downstairs to use the bathroom, but NOTHING was happening. It was so perplexing. I felt like I was going to pass the entire contents of the Chicago river, but the butthole didn't pucker even once that moment. Defeated, I pulled up my pants, washed my hands, and slunk back to my room.

The pain got worse. Then suddenly, I screamed, "OH GOD! OH GOD AM I GIVING BIRTH?!" As I ran back down to the bathroom I hear my then girlfriend cackling like a mad witch. I sit down on the toiler and prepare for the worst. But...damn it! Nothing is happening again! Why?!

Suddenly, my gut starts to bubble like it has never bubbled before. I'll just say that I went so badly all at once, that it sounded like I poured gallons of water in the toilet in once second. I was in serious pain...for that moment. But after the pain washed away, I felt such a powerful sense of relief that I felt like hours upon hours have passed in mere minutes.

After all was said and done, I returned to my room, wordlessly unpaused my video game, and felt like I had a greater understanding of life itself.

[Formalhaut]

I actually think elaborating on that would ruin it. It's best as it is - mysterious and titilating.

The pain got worse. Then suddenly, I screamed, "OH GOD! OH GOD AM I GIVING BIRTH?!" As I ran back down to the bathroom I hear my then girlfriend cackling like a mad witch. I sit down on the toiler and prepare for the worst. But...damn it! Nothing is happening again! Why?!

Positively titillating right?

[NorthernChaosGod]

Chipotle, bland and overpriced? No thanks. At least Taco Bell has the decency to be cheap.