So we don't have a speech for this either. You know what's approachable? Eggnog. That's right. And Santa. Santa listens to all of your wants and needs and he never asks for anything except maybe some milk and cookies. Did you ever think Santa might want something? Huh!?!? All the hard work I do for you? Millions of kids sending me letters, harassing me at the mall, taking pictures with me despite my picture allergy. And what do I get? NOTHING THAT'S WHAT

*runs off crying*