hey eoff
so on Monday, I need to stand in front of about 200 people and introduce myself, tell an interesting fact and say a funny joke.
As its an IT company, perhaps consider something geeky, I have every faith in you guys, the best joke wins
tell me a joke
hey eoff
so on Monday, I need to stand in front of about 200 people and introduce myself, tell an interesting fact and say a funny joke.
As its an IT company, perhaps consider something geeky, I have every faith in you guys, the best joke wins
"Good -insert time-! Before we get started, I wanted to ask if any of you lost a roll of hundred dollar bills wrapped up in a rubber band?"
Let people stir.
"Cause we found the rubber band, aaaand, we thought you might at least like that back."
----
"Check 1,2,4.... Check 1,2,4... -look confused then look to the side- Eh, is this mic leaking? Where's the 3 gone?"
Some Text Here.
I do not know a single joke that would be appropriate, however, Google is your friend.
What is the subject matter?
Work, not school, related?
End goal?
I may be able to come up with something?
(Mad experience in sales/marketing/merchandising/IT/making people laugh)
fantastic! I love the IT Crowd. That would work really well!Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg
The joke can be about anything, not overly crude cause I am a girl and that'd be awkward.
End goal? for it to be memorable.
Why don't dinosaurs talk to each other?
(SPOILER)Because they're dead.
Signature by rubah. I think.
A boy in high school is planning to take his girlfriend to prom.
The first thing he does is buy tickets. Of course, everyone else at their school is buying tickets as soon as they're available, so he needs to wait in the ticket line for some time before he finally gets them.
Next, he goes to the tuxedo rental shoppe. All of the other boys from school are also taking care of their tuxedo business, so he needs to wait in line for some time before he can have his measurements taken care of for his tux.
After this, he goes to rent a limo for the night. Of course, having a limo to take a couple to prom is quite popular, so he's stuck waiting in the rental line for some time before he can finally make his arrangements.
Now he waits a while, until prom is only a couple days away, to go back to the tuxedo shoppe and pick up the tuxedo that he was measured for earlier. He's not the only one who decided to pick up his tux this particular day, though, and surprisingly he's left waiting in the tuxedo line for quite some time before he finally has his attire for prom.
After this, he decides to go to pick up some flowers to give to his girlfriend. He goes to the flower shop to find that everyone else seems to have had the same thought tonight. He's left waiting in the flower line for quite some time before finally leaving with a lovely bouquet.
Then prom night comes around. He's wearing his nice tuxedo, and he and his girlfriend arrive for prom in their limo. There's a line leading up to the door, and the two of them need to wait a while in the admission line to present their tickets to get into the building, but besides that everything is great.
Eventually the boy's girlfriend asks for a drink. The boy runs over to the refreshment table, and returns with a cup of punch.
And that's it. After all of the waiting up until this point, there was no punch line in the end.
What do you call two lesbians on their period?
(SPOILER)Fingerpainting
Currently a joke Loony gave me on FF is winning,
What does the Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people
XD there is still time, but something short and snappy like that! I only have a few minutes up there.
Where to cats go when they die?
PURRgatory
<PaperStar> live fast, die young, bad plefs do it well
My sex life.
The last time I was in a Dagobah, I was drinking beer in Little Italy.
A Hawaiian and Samoan walk into a convenient store. The Samoan steals three snickers bar and stuffs it into his pocket and then boasts to the Hawaiian " Hey, you saw that? The clerk didn't even sawa thing, hahahaha! " The Hawaiian says,, " That's nothing bro, watch this! The Hawaiian says to the Clerk " Give me three snickers bar and I'll show you Magic". Once given the the three snickers, the Hawaiian eats them all and the Clerk asks where's the magic? The Hawaiian replies, " Look in the Samoan's pocket ". (Lol, you can always change the names)
How often to Eskimos order gloves?
Intermittently.
"Computer? I barely know her!" 10/10 will work, please report back with results you'll do great
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