Don't be a one upper. If someone is telling a story, especially if it is negative, let them vent. Don't go, "Well, when I was a kid, my dad beat me WAY MORE times than you!" It's way more annoying if you start by trying to one up by saying, "That's alright!"

Like, what the f*** is that even supposed to mean?

I think it's alright to relate a story to someone when they are telling a story. Using the example I said earlier, a better thing to say would be, "Yeah man, my dad beat me too. It's terrible." Go ahead and relate, but keep it short. Don't try to outdo them. Even if you think you had it tougher and they are whining. Man, just let people vent.