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Thread: Bubba plays Super Mario Bros.

  1. #16
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Came here for tiny turd talk.

    Was not disappointed.

  2. #17
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    Underwater Hell. I hate this level so much.

  3. #18
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    After some minor surgery, Mario is ready to tackle the short but extremely annoying bridge section. A level notorious for the ridiculously irritating flying cheep cheep's. You can see one of the little f***ers creeping into shot here.


    Stopping for screenshots on this level carries an increased level of risk. Cheep cheeps always have a look of shock on their face. The one on the left here has a look which is much more pronounced as he is only millimetres from Mario's arse. Unfortunately for Mario, death is clearly imminent.




    Huh, well I guess the collision detection on Mario isn't all its cracked up to be. After just that one scare so far Mario is slightly perturbed by the inaccuracy of these little bastards.



    Their aim improves slightly as Mario reaches the halfway point and the safety net of a mushroom. Apart from the constant aerial threat, this level is blander than Blandy McBlanderson. And his dog, Bland.



    A slight hint of greenery in the next section hints at an improvement in the excitement levels. What exotic wonderment would we find just one screen away??


    Absolutely bugger all. A small green bit and then back to bridge again. BUT WAIT! The gaps are smaller. Well played, Nintendo. Well played.



    Thankful this level was so short, Mario hurries on to the flag before his boredom levels cause total organ failure. The best bit about this level and the previous one, is that they're repeated again in World 7. Repeated EXACTLY THE SAME. I may just put up some recipes in the commentary at that point.



    Another 5000 points and another six fireworks. There seems little to celebrate though after such a tedious level. I will share my classic stuffed peppers recipe on world 7-3 for you all to enjoy.

    Join us next time as Mario cosplays as Xena: Warrior Princess.
    Last edited by Bubba; 02-18-2016 at 09:32 PM.

  4. #19
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    Continuing his tour of the kingdom's castles, Mario was slightly disappointed with the repeated ocean-grey decor. However, despite the continued appearance of lava pits, Mario was happy to see no swinging fire rope of death. Maybe Bowser had become a bit more welcoming of visitors!


    Ahh, maybe not.


    Even with the added presence of lava fireballs, Mario still felt much more at home without swinging fire ropes to contend with. He was eager to push on as he had read in the Rough Guide to the Mushroom Kingdom, that this castle had a fine selection of tapestries.


    This was not particularly positive. Mario's hopes of stopping for a blueberry muffin and a latte at the castle cafe were looking increasingly unlikely.



    Ahh, elevators! It looks like this castle has multiple floors. Mario contemplated either visiting the castle dungeons or checking out the view from one of the castle towers. Which should he choose?! Having brought his camera, tower views of the Mushroom Kingdom were just too enticing.


    After four attempts at visiting the tower and continuously dropping to the lower elevator, Mario grew suspicious. He moved on to the descending elevators.


    After a sudden wave of paranoia, he decided that a trip to the dungeon would not be a wise move at this point. Coins were always welcome, however Mario was still keen to see a suit of armour or maybe a portrait or two? Maybe a bit further on.


    Well this isn't promising. Mario was beginning to wonder whether this was even a castle at all and whether the game designers just couldn't be bothered drawing a background on this level.


    Tapestries now well out of the forefront of his mind, Mario decides to get through this level as quickly as he could. A one-star review on Tripadvisor was already forming in his head.


    "Came here for the first time and hated it. Decor was bland, service and hospitality were probably the worst I've experienced" Mario nanchalantly dispatched Bowser with his fireballs whilst dictating his review. Who said men can't multitask?


    Well whoever it was they were absolutely damn right.

    After taking a blast of fire to the face, Mario once again removed the floor to Bowser's bedroom to send him to his doom. Wondering if all the Bowsers had missed this gaping design flaw, he pushes on to the exit.


    This little toad person was very happy to see me. Look at him with his big smile and arms raised. Clearly he was a fun-guy!! Thanks folks, I'm here all week.

    Join us next time when Mario buys a new set of dungarees but then discovers they're too small and takes them back for a refund.

  5. #20
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Ugh, it's people like you that give struggling BnB's and other touristy spots a bad name!

    You went to the wrong castle, Mario. This one specializes in giving clients a chance to have a therapeutic soak in the natural hot springs. Make sure to enjoy the A class spa treatment, including a massage from the lord of the castle (the large green fellow), and an exfoliating scrub made from the natural pumice found right there on site!

    Tripadvisor, 4 stars.

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