Mario starts the underwater level fully powered up. Now as we all know, fire is particularly effective when used underwater. Enemies beware!




After having a particularly spicy pizza the night before, Mario's farts are deadly to any creature within 5 feet of him.




Having an an extreme fear of green fish with big eyes, Mario decides the best tactic is to wait for them to pass by... then complain about how terrifyingly disgusting they are once they are out of earshot.




Mario tires of using his fire power. He decides to hit them, and hit them hard with a major, and I mean major, leaflet campaign. As you can see, this was a terrible idea.




As all men will attest, shrinkage is much more of an issue when submerged in cold water. Luckily for Mario, this actually made passage through the level much easier.




Ooh Nintendo, tempting our greed! Picking up these coins seems like a simple enough task. However, this chasm of underwater nothingness has all the advanced suction power of Lindsay Lohan on crack.



This causes no issues for our minuscule hero though and he now has a clear path to the final erm... sucky section.



This is definitely doable... but it'll be a cold day in hell when Mario attempts to grab these coins amidst the presence of one of those little green f***ers.



Mario grabs all the coins and then literally sh**s his pants as two more of the green monstrosities float into view. Luckily, the NES' power was so small that Nintendo weren't able to create tiny little turds thus sparing Mario's blushes.



A close call to end the level but minuscule Mario survives to crap his pants another day.



5000 points and six fireworks top of the level nicely for Mario. That is a decent consolation when you consider his lungs have flooded due to 245 seconds underwater.

Join us next time when Mario spends twenty minutes vomiting a combination of spicy pizza, blood and lots of water.