That does it, I'm hiring you, Sephex, and Psychotic as my comedy writers. From now on I will be the funniest dictator in the world. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -cough-Originally Posted by Bubba
Following new legislation in Isafaro, political activists are routinely executed.
Kill them all, let God sort them out.
Following new legislation in Isafaro, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.
Personally, I'm still waiting for the Hermione Granger spinoff books.
Following new legislation in Isafaro, military spending is on the increase.
Enjoy your number one spot while you can, America, because Isafaro's coming for you!
Isafaro was reclassified from "Libertarian Police State" to "Father Knows Best State".
That's right, kids. Father knows best.
Following new legislation in Isafaro, public nudity is compulsory.
That goes for tourists, too. So take it off, Ms. Watson.
Following new legislation in Isafaro, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Isafaro's national animal is the Vulture, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.
You go, Vulture! I think I'll name my army after you. Yes, yes The Crimson Vulture. Has a nice ring to it.
Leading Cause of Death
Sunburn 1.9%
-facepalm- Seriously, is it that hard to put on sunblock?
Minorities Demand Representation In TV Soaps
Oh, and here we go!
Isafaro's TV soaps--famous around the region--have come under fire for their lack of ethnic diversity.
We will not rest until every ethic group has been featured on this show! EQUALITY WOOHOO!
"Every night my family and I sit down to watch 'The Brash and the Backstabbing'," says Ali Eliot. "But where are the Lilliputians like myself? Where are the Bigtopians? The Marche Noirians? People from those cultures can be just as brash and backstabbing, but we never see them on the screen. The government must act to remove this silent apartheid from our TV screens."
You're upset because your ethnic group ISN'T backstabbing people on TV? What? I – I don't understand. Perhaps my men have been beating people over the head too hard out here.
"Those Lilliputians don't know how good they have it," says Mary Christensen, spokesperson for the Tasmanians Against Ethnic Stereotyping. "Tasmanians are on television all the time, but always in crude, stereotypical roles. The answer is not to enforce ethnic quotas, but to award government prizes for the positive portrayal of minorities. That'll work better, and be cheaper, too."
You want me to give awards for what now?
"The government should do what now?" says TV studio executive Imogen Vulture.[/i]
I like this person. Something about them pleases me.
"You've got to be kidding. We make soaps here, not documentaries. I should be able to put whichever characters I want into my shows. Quotas! Government prizes! God save me! Hasn't the government got anything better to do? Why don't they just back off and let society work out these things on its own?"
Less work for me. You have a deal, sir!
Genetics Brings New Life to Extinct Species
Jeff Goldblum senses tingling!
Scientists have announced they are close to a breakthrough in their quest to revive the feather-bellied Vulture, a species related to Isafaro's national animal that has been extinct for more than a century.
I'll love it when it works.
"I, for one, applaud their work," says scientist Ella Wong. "And not just because I'm the project leader. This is an example of how Isafaro's brains can mix it with the world's best. Can you imagine how wonderful it will be to have feather-bellied Vultures frolicking in the meadows again? I say full steam ahead, and more government funding!"
Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and um, screaming.
"This is a sacrilege!" says religious leader Jake Chen. "These animals are extinct because God wants them dead. Cloning them would merely incur his wrath! If we proceed down this path, it'll be humans, not the feather-bellied Vulture, who will be extinct."
I'll tell you what you NEED, a good anti-psychotic!
"Now, come on," says Freddy Brown, well-known philosopher. "You don't need to be religious to be unnerved by the top of this particular slippery slope. Today it's Vultures, tomorrow it's dinosaurs, and we all know how that turns out. This research shouldn't be banned, but there must be strict government controls over its use."
If I may... Um, I'll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you're using here, it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had, you patented it, and packaged it, and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you're selling it, you wanna sell it. Well...
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.
TO BE CONTINUED!
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