Ayen's Plays NATION STATES!

[Ayen]

Welcome one and all to Ayen's Plays Nation States! What is Nation States, you ask? It's a game where you can make your own country and then cycle through several issues (1 or 2 per day) to help develop your country further. Your choices define what will become of your nation. So, to begin, allow me to introduce to you The Republic of Isafaro!

The Republic of Isafaro is a fledgling, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its irreverence towards religion.

Hah!

The hard-nosed population of 5 million Isafaroans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

We're looking at you, America. We're looking at you.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 39.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

Take that, wealthy citizens! Goddamn rich people and their tax evading. GIMMIE YOUR WALLET!

The weak Isafaroan economy,

We prefer the term 'still in development'.

worth 129 billion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Pizza Delivery, and Furniture Restoration.

The kind of contributions first world countries can only dream of!

State-owned companies are common. Average income is 25,828 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Balance is everything.

Crime is totally unknown,

SMURFING SCORE!

thanks to a capable police force

Never thought I'd see those words in the same sentence.

and progressive social policies in education and welfare.

Or those.

Isafaro's national animal is the Vulture, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Soar free, my beauty. Soar free.

Leading Causes of Death

This should be good.

96.2% Old Age

Hot damn that is awesome! What's the remaining 3.8%?

Lost in Wilderness

Natural selection at its finest.

Isafaroan Government Expenditure
42.5 Billion Credits – 32.9% GDP

Is that good? I'm going to assume that's good.

Administration: 8.7%
Defense: 11.2%
Education: 11.8%
Environment: 5.6%
Healthcare: 11.2%
Industry: 5.6%
International Aid: 5%
Law & Order: 8.7%
Public Transport: 8.7%
Social Policy: 6.8%
Welfare: 16.8%

Probably the most even my budget has ever been. All right.

The Isafaroan Economy
GDP: 129 Billion Credits
25,828 Credits Per Person

Poorest 10% 19,146 Credits Per Person
Richest 10% 33,682 Credits Per Person

Government: 32.9%
State-Owned Industry: 15.7%
Private Industry: 49.6%
Black Market: 1.8%

Oh, dem blacks–! Wait, wait, that's not what I meant!

All right, now that we have that out of the way, let's see what my country needs from me today.

Should Democracy Be Compulsory?

Somehow, I expected more.

In response to a slow news week,

Extremely slow.

certain highbrow newspapers have stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.

"Compulsory voting makes about as much sense as having the death penalty for attempted suicide," says civil rights activist Roxanne Anderson. "You can't force people to be free! You can only give them the choice. Besides, if all those derelicts who can't be bothered to get off their butts once every few years voted, who would they elect? I shudder to think."

Yeah, what are we, Australia?

"It's not contradictory at all," argues political commentator Tobias Hamilton. "The fact is, if not everyone votes, the outcome isn't truly representative. Some groups--like elderly gun nuts--vote more often than others. That's why we always end up with such terrible politicians."

You're hitting too close to home now, game.

"This raises an interesting issue," says Jake Plath, your brother.

I have a brother named Jake? Mom, how come you never told me!? Mommy? MOMMY!

"And that is: why do we need elections, anyway? Seems to me it would be much simpler if you just decided what was right, and did it. Wouldn't that save everyone a lot of time?"

Hm, you raise an interesting point there, brother I've only known for a few seconds. I am objectively always correct about everything from games, movies, television, and the five books I've read in my entire 26 years of living, so why do we need voting? Smurf voting! DICTATORSHIP IT IS!

Now, what's next?

Compulsory Organ Harvesting Proposed

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND THE WORD COMPULSORY?!

Tempers flare in Isafaro as civil libertarians and the healthcare lobby clash once again over mandatory post-mortem organ donation.

"It's not as crazy as it sounds," says Dr. Renee Summers. "Every day, people die because we don't have the organs to save them. Well, that and widespread under-funding of the health system.

Excuse me, sir? I'll have you know that 96.2% of people die of old age, so you don't come to my office about no damn widespread under-funding of the health system!

But the point is, if the government allowed us to take organs from dead people, we could save hundreds of lives a year. And come on, it's not like dead people need them."

Do the dead people object to this?

…...................

Oh, right, you can't. Because you're dead!

"You keep your damn hands off my organs!" says alarmed hospital patient Imogen Neumann. "They are my organs, and I'll do with them what I like. The government has no right to my body."

Normally, I'd side with you, Doc, but you insulted my health system spending, and for that, you must pay the price.

Victory goes to the alarmed hospital patient! Bastards tell me people dying because of widespread under-funding of the health system.

Pizza Delivery Workers Strike!

Oh no! How will the world ever get its pizza!?

Workers across the nation have gone out on indefinite strike over what they claim are substandard wages in the Pizza Delivery industry.

You work in the 'Pizza Delivery industry'. You knew what you were getting into.

"We are the backbone of this country,

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, I interrupted you. Go ahead.

and we demand a fair wage rise!" says union leader May Washington. "I don't think a 20% increase over two years is too much to ask. Unless the government forces employers to give us our due, we'll shut this whole industry down! Let's see how well Isafaro's economy manages without any Pizza Delivery, huh?"

NOT THE PIZZA! ANYTHING BUT THE PIZZA!

"We pay our employees very generous wages," says employer representative Peter Wall.

I don't believe you.

"Especially when you consider that without us, they'd be OUT ON THE STREET.

Why are you yelling? And why did you put a period after it? It should be an exclamation point. Go back to school!

Hear that, you scumbags? OUT ON THE STREET!

There ya go. See? You learn something new everyday.

Anyway, my point is,

You had a point?

if you cave in, you make our entire industry uncompetitive. You can't do that in the global marketplace. It'll hurt the whole country. The best solution, economically speaking,

Economically speaking.

would be to relax industrial laws and allow us to fire troublemakers on the spot."

You. Are. A. PIZZA. Delivery. Service! You're like the lowest of the low. No one cares. Least of all me. DISMISSED!

"But, sir–!"

DISMISSED!

Cancer Sufferer Demands Euthanasia Bill

Way to bring the room down, guys.

Dorothy Terwilliger lies immobilized in a hospital bed, unable to move. She has end-stage cancer, and wishes to end her struggle against death. However, laws prevent her doctors from obeying her wishes.

Smurfing laws! Who even writes those, anyway?
...oh yeah.

Dorothy and her family are campaigning for a "Dying with Dignity" bill, to change this situation. She implores the government to legalize euthanasia.

REALLY bumming me out now.

"I understand this is a very difficult time for these people," says freelance medical writer Klaus Chandra. "But the solution is not to let our medical system slide down the slippery slope of killing people in pain. We must cure, not kill. This is not the right time for euthanasia."

How exactly do you plan to cure end-stage cancer? That seems pretty final there.

"I agree, but go further: there is never a right time for euthanasia," says Bishop Elaine Strange. "The lives we lead are given to us by the grace of God, and he decides when they end. It is not for us to question God's divine purpose, no matter how odd or screwed-up it may seem."

I'm sorry, do you know what 'irreverence' means? It's on the description of my country. It means a lack of respect for people or things that are generally taken seriously. Can you guess which one you are?

"A thing?"

That's right, and do you know what we do with things? THROW THEM INTO A FIRE! -activates trap door and sends the Bishop tumbling down into a fire pit-

Isafaro, there will be cake.

TO BE CONTINUED!
P.S: I passed the Dying with Dignity bill
P.P.S: No people of faith were harmed during the making of this post