The One Eyed Monster. It only serves penises but my oh my, what a veritable cornucopia of animal dong it'd be. You want goat schlong? You got it. Fancy a little slice of walrus wang? Be our guest. In the mood for a nibble of a giraffe's johnson? Relax, we got you covered.

There would be a free meal for anyone who would be willing to take on the Bulging Blue Whale Boner challenge. Eat the whole pee pee in one sitting and the Crown of Ding-a-Ling would be yours.