Time to go and recruit the convict!

I'd heard quite a bit about this dude Jack who is a ridiculously powerful biotic. For some reason I pictured him as some beefy guy like Jack from Tekken. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

I relayed over to a prison ship called Purgatory, which is the best name for a prison ever. Upon arrival, I meet Warden Karl who wants us to surrender our weapons. No f**king way, dude. Kasumi is my insurance policy and Garrus needs all the help he can get. Jack has been stored in the freezer to prolong his shelf-life. It seems Cerberus are paying for his release which is pretty common on Purgatory. This place sounds, as my Gran would have said, "bent as a nine bob note".

We walk past a few cells and in the first one, a guard is beating the living sh*t out of a prisoner. I managed to convince his fellow guard that they needed to stop being a couple of meanies. Paragone and got me some points. Oh yes, I went there. In the next cell along, I chatted to a nice young man who told me all about the prison ship. Apparently it's lovely. They have a pool table, self-flushing toilets and book club every second Thursday of the month. The final cell contained a crazy man just saying crazy stuff. Timothy Dalton the best Bond? Tssk! Shut it, you wacko.

We push on to a room with a computer, some furniture and blood smeared over the walls. For a minute, I thought I was back at the Shauna's house the morning after the EoFF party. I clearly had reason to be suspicious and this was confirmed a moment later when Warden Karl came over the intercom. Apparently, Shepard is worth more to him as a prisoner than the amount Cerberus were paying for Jack. Cue epic onslaught.

As there was only one exit to this room, we'd clearly been led here like lambs to the kebab shop. The Blue Nun Troopers were out in force along with these really annoying mech dog things. Patience was the key here and the SKG trio emerged victorious once again.

We headed down a nearby corridor into a room with a sole science dude who I dispatched with ease. I then decide to release all the prisoners on the ship because that can only result in good things happening. The key thing though is that Jack was defrosted and HOLY SH*T. Jack isn't a dude... she's a dudette! Now, I'm not really into tattoos but I may make an exception in her case. She is DEADLY. She Biotic-ed a load of mechs before tearing a hole in a wall. I like her. A lot.

I picked up a couple of cool upgrades after laying waste to a few guards and prisoners. There were a couple of tricky mechs further down the line but nothing we Kasumi couldn't handle. We eventually found our way into the final chamber where Warden Karl had congregated with a load of goons. He was a bloody coward though and surrounded himself in a protective barrier while he sent waves and waves of unpleasant people our way. They seemed to take AGES to take out as they just kept on coming. Eventually though, it was just Karl left. THE FINAL SHOWDOWN.

... was anti-climactic. How was I going to figure out how to bring down his barrier? HOW?! Oh yeah, it'll be those three generators right near him that have health bars. I was kind of expecting more waves once I'd taken the barrier off but nope just Karl and his pathetic pea shooter. Damn it, Karl! Anyway, a couple of specials to the face and this mission was over.

Cut scene with Jack and she clearly doesn't trust us as we're Cerberus. I told her she can look at all the files Cerberus had on her as this would no doubt piss off Miranda. Jack then agreed to join the team! Back on the ship I was given the option to welch on my promise but Jack does not look like the kind of girl you want to cross. I gave her access to the files and Miranda was NOT pleased. Oh well, I'm not sure I'll be pursuing a relationship with Miranda anyway. I don't think I want a relationship with Jack either but I would definitely be up for a night of freaky sex with her. Someone tell me this is an option?

Tune in next time when Mordin's addiction to the home shopping channel culminates in him ordering a portable walrus-polishing kit... four super brushes capable of tackling even the trickiest of sea-bound mammals.