The quarian x geth drama is hella interesting. YOU'LL GET EVEN MORE OF IT IN THIS GAME AND THE NEXT!
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
The quarian x geth drama is hella interesting. YOU'LL GET EVEN MORE OF IT IN THIS GAME AND THE NEXT!
Garrus - Eye for an Eye
Our sexy-voiced Turian wants my help. You and everyone else, pal. Garrus is my bro though so I'm more than happy to help him out. He's trying to track down some guy called Sidonis. They used to be Batman & Robin down on Omega... fighting crime and such. It sounds like they formed their own Omega Avengers with Garrus and Sidonis leading the team. Sidonis betrayed them though and all their squad were killed by the Blue Suns before the cheeky mare disappeared.
Garrus has received word that someone called Fade has helped hide him Walter White-style. Our only hope was to track down Fade (what a sh*t name, btw) and shake the dude down for Sadonis' whereabouts. Time to head back to the Citadel!
We find one of Fade's minion's over in the warehouse... some Volus guy flanked by two Krogan bodyguards. I was expecting some pistol action here but as soon as we drew our guns the two bodyguards wisely thought "smurf that" and buggered off. Nobody wants to mess with Shepard. The Volus then crapped his pants and divulged that Fade was in fact that annoying prick Harkin. Oooh, I've wanted this guy dead for a while! I left the Volus with some toilet paper and deodorant.
We hailed a cab to Harkin's location and he was there with a load of Blue Suns. Harkin being the true warrior that he is, turned tail and fled and left his troops to deal with us. All in good time, Harkin. The Blue Suns were quickly dispatched before some Loki mechs got the same treatment. We're coming for you, you baldy bastard!
We're soon running through a warehouse with an inexplicable number of boxes. Seriously, what the hell is in these things?! I suppose I should be grateful as they're all bulletproof and are perfect for cover. There wasn't a great deal of variety in the firefights. Kill stuff and move on was the order of the day.
We eventually reach this weird, multi-levelled room in which I had to hop up the various tiers. I could see Harkin's shiny head at an office right at the back. More downing of mechs ensued. This mission has been a little dull compared to some of the recent ones. Oh well, let's hope it has a nice ending!
We finally corner the slippery twat in the office at the end. Garrus was not at all keen on polite negotiations and I was OK with this. Harkin just has one of those faces... Harkin reluctantly assists us with Sidonis and sets up a meeting for us. Job done! There may or may not have been an option for me to stop Garrus shooting Harkin in the leg. I may have missed my cue... accidentally of course.
Leaving Harkin to enjoy his remaining working leg, we get ourselves ready to take out Sidonis. Garrus takes up a decent sniper position while Shepard heads out and tries to distract Sidonis by asking him if he's found Jesus. I was given the option to block Garrus from taking the shot. He'd given a passionate plea as to why he wanted this guy taken out so I ignored the paragon option and stepped aside. Blam! One dead Sidonis. I was a proper renegade this mission! I don't know why, it just felt like the right thing to do. Maybe I'd eaten some bad cheese or something, I don't know.
Garrus was very grateful and I said "Got your back, bro!" and we hugged it out. I may have held on for a bit too long though and it was slightly awkward when we both released. Though I'm sure I saw a glint in his eye. Maybe this a relationship I can explore further in Mass Effect 3.
Tune in next time when Mordin's murder mystery dinner party is ruined when a mass brawl breaks out over who gets to be Colonel Mustard.
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
If you were femshep you could explore it now!
Garrus is definitely gonna be my love interest on my Femshep play through!Originally Posted by Freya
You're almost there and I'm a little jealous. I can't get EA's origin platform to open that's required for playing mass effect on PC.
Who do you have left, just Kasumi? I like her loyalty mission. It's a little different than the others, but fun.
...
I just need to write up Thane's but yeah... just Kasumi's left to play. I'm excited for it! After that I'm at the Reaper IFF which you kindly informed me was the point of no return.
So do you think it's worth waiting till after I finish the game before playing Liara's Shadow Broker mission?
I always do the extra content stuff before going to whichever game's point of no return, excluding bonus character stuff that I just weave into the normal playing. I guess it doesn't really matter, but I like to do all the stuff I can before the end of the game.
...
Yeah, this would be my instinct as well. I'll have a think. I've got two hours spare tomorrow morning so it'll be either Shadow Broker or Reaper IFF.
Thane and Kasumi's missions are done and dusted!
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
With ME you can still run around after you finish the main storyline, at least in ME2. So it wont lock you out or anything. If you want to kissy kissy your love liara, then go for it! It's my favorite DLC of ME2.
Thane - Sins of the Father
After a brief chat with Thane it's clear he isn't going to win any father-of-the-year awards. He left his wife and son at home while he gallivanted around the world assassinating people. Come on mate, you need to address your work/life balance! It seems Thane's son has found out what his Dad does for a living and decided to follow in his footsteps. It's a good job he's not my son otherwise he'd be sat in an open-plan office watching Elaine from recruitment stuff her face with a Krispy Kreme donut.
Following Garrus' mission, we were conveniently already on the Citadel where this sh*t was gonna go down. I chatted to Captain Baileys who had a lead on where we could find Thane's son. He also gave me a sob story about all the orphans dotted around the Citadel. Look mate, FFXV comes out in twelve days and I need to have this game finished. I'll sign up for Save the Children once I've saved the galaxy.
We're directed to the Dark Star Lounge to find some dude called Mouse. Apparently he was one of these orphaned kids but he managed to do quite well for himself. He spots Thane and actually calls him Krios (Thane's surname) thinking it is Thane's son. BUSTED! Mouse was apprehensive about giving up his contact but Thane was all like "No harm will befall you..." in that comforting voice he has. I was convinced.
Mouse gave us the name of Elias Kelham who was a petty criminal from the Citadel. Baileys kindly sets up an interrogation for us. Ooooh exciting! Because I'm clearly a closet renegade, I chose to be 'bad cop' to Thane's 'good cop'. I couldn't resist! We explain to him that this meeting is "off the record" and tried to put him at ease by jovially discussing the recent DEA raid on Charlie Sheen's house. He saw right through this though and refused to tell us anything. I had a load of renegade interrupts flash up and I was soooooo tempted as this guy was a prick. I stuck to my paragon guns and thought my chance had disappeared when his lawyer walks into the room.
The threat of court though was enough to convince Kelham and his lawyer to spill the beans. Kelham hired Thane's son (Kolbert or something) to assassinate some Turian politician. We'd better get a shifty on as Kolbert is tracking this poor sod down as we speak!
Thane explained the plan. I was gonna follow this politician and keep Thane updated as to his whereabouts. Thane was gonna hide in the shadows and try and find Kolbert. This bit was cool! I slinked along some upper catwalks like... like something that slinks. I kept this dude and his bodyguard in view as they walked around the Citadel. I thoroughly enjoyed this and immediately started looking online for careers in private investigation.
Suddenly, a wild cut-scene appeared! Yes, that was a Pokemon reference... what of it? Kolbert tries to take out the politician but unfortunately seems to have gone through Storm Trooper training. He accidentally injures the Krogan bodyguard which gives us a chance to catch up to him and give him a slap round the chops. We distract Kolbert by shooting a lamp next to him which allows our Turian politician to make his escape.
Thane and his son were then left to embrace which made me exclaim "God, get a room." Worryingly, they did just that as Baileys gave them the use of his office. A little while later they emerged and I had no desire to enquire as to what went on.
Baileys was looking to get a conviction for Kolbert's attempt on the politician's life. Baileys is my bitch though and I convinced him to keep it within C-Sec. Mission completed!
Tune in next time when the crew are equally baffled and annoyed that a pair of Jehovah's witnesses managed to track them down in the middle of deep space.
Last edited by Bubba; 11-17-2016 at 04:20 PM.
Kasumi - Stolen Memory
So Kasumi and I are heading off to a swanky party at a mansion owned by a dude called Hock. Shepard has been down to Asda (or Walmart to you Yanks) and bought himself some new threads. He scrubs up pretty well! Kasumi even makes an approving comment. Side note: Kasumi has a very attractive mouth. I like the way her bottom lip comes out further than her top one. Plus she sounds a lot like Kathleen Turner from Romancing the Stone.
OK perve session over, we arrive at the mansion. I am one suave-looking mother-f**ker so I am obviously granted access. Unfortunately, Kasumi still looks like she's attending a Comic-Con as a low budget Assassins Creed guy. She is immediately rebuffed. You could've worn a dress or something! We were here to obtain some graybox that her old partner Keiji owned. This guy Hock apparently had it locked in his vault. Exciting!
Shepard heads in on his own and starts snooping around. There were a few interesting conversations to be had before I was instructed by Kasumi to case the vault. There looks to be a lot of things we need before we can break in. I love all this James Bond stuff! First thing we need is a voice-recording from our host, Hock. This is remarkably easy to obtain as the dude loves the sound of his own voice. People gather round like sycophants as he spews absolute bullsh*t. Recording obtained!
We go outside (the view is amazing, btw) and find a datapad on the wall. How very careless! It mentions some dude called Captain Roe. I'm thinking that's important. We then head to the first floor and some action! We discreetly take out the guards... well, not that discreetly. I machine-gunned them to death. I'm sure no-one noticed that at the party 15 yards away. We find a datapad and a password! Let's hope it's an important one and not Hock's Instagram or something.
Next stop, Hock's bedroom! We need to obtain some of his DNA to use on the vault. The password we obtained turned out to be the key to getting past the guard outside his bedroom. That and we told him we were maids and offered an exemplary turndown service. Once in, there were lots of items to investigate to find his DNA. A wine glass, a datapad, some antique weapons... though I flatly refused to check the box of tissues next to his bed.
Last step was a power cable running out of the vault. There was a conduit in the hallway (blue is neutral, brown is live - never forget!) and the last barrier was removed! We head into the vault and are immediately reunited with all our gear. Oooft, time for some action methinks!
There's an entrance here to Hock's ridiculously large display room. He's got the friggin' head of the Statue of Liberty! They were shocked, but Shepard and Kasumi couldn't pass up the opportunity to grab a selfie. There were some other interesting items here too. Some old Prothean artifacts, a number of sculptures, a Pacman cabinet and the Annabelle doll. The most important item though was Keiji's graybox thingy that Kasumi wanted. Mission accomplished!
It obviously wasn't going to be that easy though. Hock's head suddenly appeared as a huge digital image right next to us looking like something from The Lawnmower Man. Anybody seen that? No, just me then. He said he recognised Kasumi as soon as she arrived. I told you you should have worn a dress!
We were soon joined by the infamous Captain Roe and all her little helpers. This was pretty tough as there were some badass mechs here too. Plus, not having a third team member really didn't help. The waves were relentless as we slowly made our way through a car park and finally outside. I took the hide-a-lot-and-don't-be-stupid approach and it clearly paid off.
The final confrontation and it reminded me of the helicopter fight in Metal Gear Solid. I think I even said "A hind D?!!" in my best Solid Snake voice. Hock was not in a Hind D though, it was some souped-up gunship with a shield. I figured out that fighting him in the open was a good way to die extremely quickly. My situation was not improved by waves of goons also taking pot shots at me. There was lots and lots of hiding on my part.
Once we'd dealt enough damage to Hock's ship, Kasumi did this cool-as-smurf jump onto the ship itself and took out the barrier for good! Hock was then just hanging in the air like he just don't care. A few seconds of my trusty lazer and this guy was toast.
There was a final touching cut scene with Kasumi as she listened to the message from her old flame Keiji. It was one of those depressing "if you're reading this then I've been horribly killed" messages. Pretty grim. The information on the box apparently had some dirt on the alliance and Keiji wanted Kasumi to destroy it. This box was her only image of her old partner though and she was reluctant to destroy it. I pointed out that the guy had one of those stupid chin beards and we'd be doing him a favour by destroying any memory of that. She agreed. Loyalty obtained!
Tune in next time when Jacob's Netflix account is frozen cutting short Shepard's binge-watch of Gilmore Girls.
Last edited by Bubba; 11-18-2016 at 08:29 PM.
Well hold onto your hats as I decided to play this mission this very morning! Update to follow!
Of course I've seen The Lawnmower man. I'm not some computer illiterate savage! Did you find the pistols in his museum? They're pretty amazing.
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I think I did yeah! I need to have a goosey at my set-up before I start the Reaper IFF.
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
Ahhhhh I forgot about kasumi's one. That one is so fun. I feel sneaky in it
Sneak sneak
sneak
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