Bubba's Mass Effect Adventures

[Bubba]

Mini update!

I've clearly not been keeping proper track of my side quests because I had no idea I was on some of them when it popped up that I'd completed them. Having experienced the previous two games, I make it routine to visit the Citadel after pretty much every decent-sized mission, especially the Priority ones. It's clear I've picked up a load by doing this.

I spoke to a woman in the hospital and I apparently procured her some alien medi-gel after over-hearing her in conversation. Awesome. I also found some schematics on my last Cerberus mission which I handed off to some lady in Purgatory. That's the nightclub, not the waiting room between heaven and hell.

I also delivered the dying Krogan's message to his girlfriend back on the Citadel. Wow. He was definitely punching above his weight! It was a reasonably hot Asari. The old Shepard wouldn't have hesitated in putting his mobile number at the bottom of the note... luckily he has seen the error of ways after his experiences with Liara and Jack.

I trawled through my journal and apart from a couple, it looks like I'm up-to-date with side missions. There's one for Barla Von that I just need to do some galaxy scouring for but I've also got a problem with this side quest I'm doing for Kasumi. It was great to see her pop up again btw! I've got to speak to this Hanar diplomat and I've enabled the tracking thing on my console but I can't find the next terminal. It's supposed to be in the same area but I can't find it anywhere. No doubt I'm doing something wrong again. Any ideas?

[Psychotic]

That Krogan/Asari couple were in Mass Effect 2 and you may well have encouraged them to get together.

[Bubba]

Oh yes, I did! He was the one spouting poetry if I remember correctly.

[Psychotic]

That's the one. RIP in peace Poet Krogan.

[Bubba]

Just settling down to start now and it seems I've solved the problem with my DLC issues, well... theundeadhero resolved it. You were right, man. I have a region 1 copy of the game so my UK DLC won't work with it.

Is it possible to download from the American PS store here in the UK? I've tried opening it in a browser but it isn't loading up.

[Formalhaut]

Just settling down to start now and it seems I've solved the problem with my DLC issues, well... theundeadhero resolved it. You were right, man. I have a region 1 copy of the game so my UK DLC won't work with it.

Is it possible to download from the American PS store here in the UK? I've tried opening it in a browser but it isn't loading up.

Whaaaaa? That sounds really messed. Ugh. I hate games that have some form of region-crap getting in the way. If it is something as simple as that, there must be a solution. I don't want you missing some of the best DLCs in the game over a technicality.

[Bubba]

Well I've already paid for the DLC on the Uk store so if worst comes to worst, I'll just pick up another copy of the trilogy and make sure it's UK region. I'm planning a renegade play through as well so I may have to experience the awesome DLC on my second run.

So, been playing for five hours straight and now I'm wiped! Ridiculous amounts to type up tomorrow. Better get some shut eye!

[theundeadhero]

I don't remember what that specific page said to do to fix it, but an answer may be to contact the playstation store customer service and let them know the wrong region was downloaded. They might be able to see you have a copy downloaded and give you free access to the right version. I'm not sure. Either way, I know there is a fix.

[Bubba]

Tuchunka: Turian Platoon

Time to save some more ass and hopefully recruit some more bodies to take down these damn Reapers!

The son of the Normandy's own General Victus was leading a ragtail platoon of Turians down on Tuchunka and have gotten themselves into a spot of bother. Lieutenant Victus Junior (who I later found out has the first name of Tarquin! Uber-posh, son!) and his platoon were pinned down by a group of unruly Cannibals, a load of husks and worst of all... a harvester?

Pic 1.jpg

I mean, I get that wheat, oats and barley would cower in fear at this mighty machine but a group of tough, Turian soldiers? Sort yourself out, Tarquin!

We were here to investigate a downed ship that Tarquin had provided a nav point for. Let's get cracking! All is quiet at the start as we creep up a few ramps before we eventually come across a group of three husks huddled together playing a game of gin rummy. It must have been an enthralling game as I was able to sneaky-sneak up on them and shotgun them all on the back of the head.

We push on and find an escape pod with some of the Turian group under fire from Cannibals and HOLY HELL! A Harvester is a huge flying, scaly, bat/horse/dragon thing! It looked a bit like a cross between Drogon and the queen from the Alien movies. Luckily, none of the enemies had spotted us yet. Not eager to anger this beast, I took a moment to watch them all pummel this pod before I eventually noticed the health bar in the top right-hand corner. *sigh* I suppose I better engage.

I snipe the Cannibals before turning my attention to Queen Drogon. I decide to go with my pistol grenade things as she was a big target and they just stuck to her and exploded. Good strategy if I do say so myself! I thought I'd made quick work of her but she flew away when she had just a sliver of health left. Bitch!

The next area was basically a carbon copy but with different terrain. You know the old nursery rhyme... Blam Blam, thank you mam, the harvester flew away. Pulled up her socks and off she trots to fight another daaaayy!

The final encounter is made ultra-awkward with the inclusion of one of those bastard brutes. I hate these f**kers. They just come lumbering up to you and are all like... "Hi, nice to meet you. Oh, that's a nice shield. Would you mind terribly if I just REMOVE IT WITH ONE SWIPE OF MY SCABBY CLAW?!!!"

Time to bust out the old Overload and high-powered ammo. It still took a bit of time with all the Cannibals blundering in with their size 9's. We also finally took down the flying combine harvester as well. It stuck around a tad too long this time and... *adopts Gandalf voice* "At last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside"

A conversation with Tarquin in the final cut-scene reveals that he made a bit of a boo-boo in his command which cost the lives a load of his soldiers. Oh dear. Wait till I tell your Daddy back on the Normandy. He will not be pleased.

Unfortunately, we don't have time to grass dear Tarquin up to his dear Daddy. Some sneaky Turians have planted a bomb on Tuchunka to try and wipe out the Krogans. This is doing nothing to help my attempt at diplomatic relations between the different races. Pull it together, guys!

Tune in next time when Tarquin's request to bring his top hat and monocle to the bomb mission is immediately shot down by Shepard.

[Bubba]

Tuchanka: Bomb

What's this? Two updates in one day. Oh how you are spoiling us, Monsieur Bubba!

We are dumped unceremoniously in the middle of a load of Cerberus goons who immediately tried to kill us. Rude. It was a huge sprawling arena with a few barriers dotted around. It kinda looked like the game Danger Zone in the 90's ITV hit TV show Gladiators. Anyone else remember that? Nope, just me then.

We were taking some pretty intense fire and my normally world-class sniper skills were not quite up-to-scratch. I ended up using a mid-range gun (I forget the name) but it was bloody good! It will be getting more regular use going forward.

The next section involved similar enemies with the addition of a turret and an engineer. The worst double-act since Bing Crosby and David Bowie performed Little Drummer Boy. I also took out the generators which disabled their magic-barrier things, exposing them to the elements! Then, much like Crosby and Bowie themselves, they were no more (too soon?).

As we made our way round, I couldn't help but notice a lot of Cerberus drop ships getting the hell out of dodge. Considering we're here to stop a bomb this is clearly not a good sign. I picked up some schematics and updated another side quest I had no idea about, before we eventually catch up with Tarquin. The dude is trying his best to make amends for killing half his squad by attempting to disarm the bomb. Whatever mate, the North remembers.

OK, so it looks like we're on protection detail. Enemy drop ships lived up to their name by dropping in and trying to stop our posh Turian from completing his task. My newly discovered, kick-ass semi-automatic rifle easily kept them at bay until Michael the Mischievous Mech showed up to throw a spanner in the works. Crap! Tarquin is taking damage!

As I bravely hid, I noticed a nearby pick-up and am I ever glad I ventured out to grab it! It was this Hydra Missile Launcher thing. Oooooooooohhh!! It only had one shell so I took careful aim and Mike the Mech was history in one shot!

That was actually my final action as Tarquin went ape-trout on the bomb itself. He climbed up to it and started ripping out power cells... I guess disarming at the console didn't work then, hey? He definitely redeemed himself though by dismantling the bomb before falling to his death in gloriously heroic fashion. Bagsy not telling his Dad when we get back to the Normandy.

Tune in next time when James admits he's never read any of the Harry Potter books and is immediately executed.

[Formalhaut]

Funny story: if you don't complete the Bomb mission within three missions of picking it up, it explodes. Which isn't funny, as it affects your war assets and stuff.

I'd definitely ring up customer services - ugh, I know - but seriously, they might be able to help you. If nothing else, at least you've then exhausted all your options that doesn't involve - ugh, I know - paying more money.

I still think this entire region thing is ridiculous, though.

[theundeadhero]

I think you've completed all the really time sensitive mission now. That, and Jack's mission can be failed if you don't get there to save them fast enough. There's still some planet scanning/item finding that can't be finished after a certain story event, but you're good to go now.

[Bubba]

Well that's a relief! It did kinda feel natural to do the bomb mission straight after. If I had more time in the evening like I had last night I'd probably finish by Wednesday!

I've messaged customer services since we'll see what they say. Here's hoping!

[Bubba]

Priority: Tuchunka

We're off to cure the genophage! OR ARE WE? We receive a call from that important female Salarian, Dallatrix Lestrange. She voices her concerns over whether or not we should cure it at all and... ooooooh! She wants us to sabotage the mission for the good of all the races in the galaxy. Hmmm... decisions, decisions!

We start the mission with a spot of husk-swatting. It's weird, even though I'm an infiltrator, the shotgun has been my go-to weapon so far. I run around dispatching them all before a cut-scene is triggered. We've brought Padok Wiks (we shed another tear for Mordin ) along to help complete the cure. It's fair to say that he has hardly been given a warm welcome by the Krogan but Eve (our sexy Krogan female) steps up, defends him and puts the Krogan in their place with a speech to rival Martin Luther King... "I have a Dream. That my poor little Salarian... etc etc"

We climb into our vehicle and head off. There was a little moment with Eve previously and now she asks us what was up. Here we go! Do we reveal Dallatrix's plot or do we keep shtum? There is no way I'm lying to my boy Wrex so I immediately blab about Lestrange's plan. Eve thanks us profusely for saving another genocide whilst Wrex says "See, I told you we could trust him." Awww! I love you too, man!

Our line of vehicles rumbles on before we arrive at a gap in the road. "Floor it. There might be an incline, floor it!" Sorry, I watched Speed again recently. We stop and have a bit of a snoop round before... fuuuuuuuuck! A ship comes crashing down on our location wiping out most of our trucks and killing a load of Krogan. Not the best start.

There was an entrance on the other side of the road which was literally our only option. It led down into some scary-ass tunnels that were pretty much pitch black. It was also a smurfing maze. I kept expecting to turn a corner and have my face eaten by some mutant space zombie. Ahhh, I want my mummy! No, no, pull it together, Shepard. You're a damn Spectre. Act like it, man!

As I was fumbling around, I found a few cave paintings on the wall which inexplicably gave me thousands of credits. All-righty then. Suddenly, a pale, alien face appeared in the darkness. I immediately panicked and fired off my shotgun then furiously tried to reload before realising it was just Garrus. Ahem. As you were, team. I hate it in here.

So, apparently there is a resident Thresher Maw here that we would do well not to come into contact with. Something tells me we aren't going to get much choice in the matter. Pushing past an alien corpse we finally reach some stairs and get the hell out of this cave. Thank smurf.

Oh goody, an ambush. To be honest, after the creepiness of the last place, I actually welcoming a good old-fashioned scrap! It was easy pickings apart from a Brute which are just the worst. We reach a really cool looking bridge with a load of Krogan statues on either side. Impressive! Far less impressive was my death only moments later. A load of nasties popped out of the opening at the far end of the bridge. "OK!" I thought. "Time for some snipey-snipey action!" I picked off a couple before exposing myself (not like that) for too long and taking a missile to the face. Shield destroyed. It was at this precise moment that a few husks (whom I didn't notice were flanking me) started beating the crap out of me. I died

Adjusting my tactics (and field of vision) slightly, I emerged victorious second time around. We cross the bridge and... AAAAAGGHHHH!!!! Queen Thresher Maw shows up and she's smurfing huge! She knocks a hole in the bridge before buggering off. I am not looking forward to facing up to her. We have more pressing matters though. A huge Reaper is situated at a nearby temple and whelp... it looks like we're gonna have to take it down.

OK, give me a minute to come up with a plan here. It was either Wrex or Eve that suggested... "Why don't we lure Queen Thresher Maw over to the Reaper and let them duke it out?" Yeah, that sounds like a plan that can't go wrong. I remember a similar tactic being used in Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus and we all know how that one turned out, don't we? What's that, you don't? Yeah, me neither.

We initiate the plan and amazingly it seems to be working. We arrive at the Reaper's location and it certainly seemed distracted. We simply had to activate a couple of switches near this temple and we're all good! Only... we're not all good. A tribe of Brutes show up and I immediately crap myself. Five of them! FIVE!

They were all charging my position so I bravely stood my ground legged it to the other side of the arena in floods of tears. This isn't fair! I'll spare you the full details of this encounter. Let's just say it involved a lot of running back and forwards, shooting from afar and keeping well out of their way.

Once that threat was removed, it was just the Reaper we had to deal with. Let's get these switches activated! The Reaper had other ideas though and every time I tried to get to one he'd stick a huge, dirty leg in my way. But just like making a good Sunday roast dinner, it's all about the timing. Skilfully darting underneath, we manage to activate both switches to trigger an awesome final cut-scene.

The Reaper decides to focus all it's attention on us which will surely mean certain death only... BOOM!!!!! Queen Thresher Maw jumps up and grabs it from behind, wraps around it and takes it down! AMAZING!!

A sad moment here as it was time for Padok Wiks to journey to the top of the tower and finally cure the damn genophage. The only problem being that it would be a one-way trip Padok, my man. We haven't known each other that long but you are a true hero. His last words were to the effect of "It isn't up to us to control the population of a species." What a legend.

That was the end of Priority: Tuchunka! Wrex and Eve look like they're gonna go off to make millions of Krogan babies so I hope curing the genophage was the right call! Eve told me her real name too but I didn't quite catch it. It sounded something like 'balaclava' but maybe I'll wait for her to contact me to avoid any awkwardness.

Tune in next time when Shepard gets all drunk and depressed after reading the initial reviews of Mass Effect: Andromeda.

[theundeadhero]

I see how it is. Pretending to be a great hero. Acting like you care about all in the galaxy. Then going around and killing every Salarian in sight. Sure, claim it was an accident. You didn't expect that tower getting attacked by a reaper to blow up. It wasn't your fault...

Seriously though, that mission is really fun. Nobody messes with the mother of all thresher maws.