It's all part of my greater scheme to kill every race from within their own ranks then one day take my place as grand supreme leader of the Reapers.Originally Posted by theundeadhero
Oh man. As she pops out and starts wrapping around it I was just like "NO WAY!!"
Priority: Citadel 2
We warmed up for this mission by completing another of those quick-fire Cerberus missions. I quite like them. They're a nice little break from the more lengthy story episodes. Once it was over though, I had a few side quests to finish at the Citadel as well as our next 'biggy' mission. OK! Let's mosey!
So, we were heading back to meet up with the Salarian Counsellor to keep this whole 'all races as one' thing going. Things get off on an ominous note though as Joker is getting zero response from the Citadel on his approach. Erm... hello? Anyone there? This being a priority mission I kinda assumed there'd be some kind of kerfuffle so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.
Yup. Definite kerfuffle. We land to a sh*tstorm of gunfire. C-Sec were doing their best to fight off, you guessed it... Cerberus. We were dropped off at the end of a long platform which was just crying out for some snipey action. Oooh you boys are gonna get it!
This was some of my most impressive sniping to date. I was reeling off headshots left right and centre and wondered for a moment whether I could actually complete this entire mission sat in the same spot. I was that good! But that was clearly a stupid wondering so once the coast was clear we ran to the end of the platform.
Oh no! Commander Bailey look's like he's taken one to the gut and is on his last legs. Don't die, man! I'll miss your handsome crater-face! He seems like he'll be OK for a little while though. He syncs his omni-tool with ours so he can keep in contact with us. Right, lets go and clean up this mess!
Things started off reasonably straight-forward. More ridiculously accurate sniping from yours truly took out a few unsuspecting Cerberus soldiers but man... the Citadel is a mess! We arrive at an elevator with an engineer busy fiddling with the controls next to it. The health bar above his head indicated that he is clearly a 'wrong un' so we repainted the elevator controls a nice crimson red before summoning the lift.
We exited the elevator to a scene from... I don't know... some show/film that has lots of dead bodies strewn around the place. It looks like the C-Sec workforce has been considerably thinned since our last visit here. There weren't many Cerberus goons around so it seems like we've missed the party. Well that's what I thought anyway until I reached the kitchen and suddenly they were everywhere! Quite annoyingly, Jona Lewie's hit record You Will Always find Me in the Kitchen at Parties suddenly popped into my head. To distract from this, I took out this Cerberus wave with minimal fuss. I'm kicking ass this mission!
Wow. Lot's of cut-scene action next as we spot the Salarian ambassador but she is cornered by this cool-looking assassin type dude with floppy hair. He looks like a bit of a handful! We jump down and the coward tries to use the Salarian ambassador as a human shield! Well, a Salarian shield... you know what I mean. Luckily, it was at this moment that the legend that is Thane showed up to try and take him down. Good to see you, man! This assassin dude is a slippery customer though and is dodging bullets like a boss. He and Thane have a coming together and NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Thane get's front-Aerith'd right in the gut. I mean, I knew Thane was on the final stages of his illness BUT STILL.
The coward then legs it before Shepard can chase him down. Thane is still moving but it doesn't look good. We call help for him then jump in one of those flying cars to start our pursuit of assassin man. We were in the air only briefly when SMURF, THIS MAN IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. Thane's too, clearly. Thane's Bane, heh heh... but NO! This guy is going down!
The only problem at the minute is that we were going down. He'd jumped onto our car, stuck his Thane-Killer through our engine and jumped off again. We were going down quicker than a ten-dollar prostitute. We crashed on some unknown Citadel location and were thrust back into the action after cut-scene central.
The game thought this would be the perfect time to throw two new enemies at us. We were attacked by a load of Phantoms and Nemesis...es's...ess... err, things that go by the name Nemesis. Phantoms were a pain the backside. They rush you like husks then dive being cover at the last second. Damn you and your intelligence! The Nemesis enemies were all snipery but were no match for me.
I'm waffling again, aren't I? Mech shows up. We destroy mech. We get to some elevators and assassin man has already headed up in one. Luckily, our man Bailey is a whizz at hacking elevators or something. He slows their elevator and supercharges ours to draw us level. Oooh, this is exciting! We take out the brakes on the elevator and it plummets to the bottom!
When we finally exit the shaft we come face-to-face with Kaiden. He is busy trying his best to save the council and didn't take too kindly to my appearance. Meh I'm used to your attitude now mate, change the record. It turns out though that Counsellor Udina has brokered a deal with Cerberus to attack the Citadel! He wants to direct all the Citadel forces to help the humans back on Earth. Too far man, too far!
Udina runs over to a terminal to do bad-man things and shoves the Asari counsellor to the floor. NOT ON MY WATCH. We're given a renegade interrupt here and I was sooooooo close to gunning him down but luckily Kaidan beats me to it and takes him out. Bailey then shows up and this hectic mission is finally over!
I'm gonna give another little update later today as there were further developments with my team!
I bloody hate Kai-Leng, he is the dullest and worst character in the game.
Also if you are interested in this and you may not be, those mini Cerberus missions are actually the multiplayer stages. They just incorporated them into the main game to give us something more to do, which I'm appreciative of.
Christ alive, I don't half waffle some sh*t. I hope at least some of that last update made sense.
We had successfully reclaimed the Citadel from Cerberus forces but it came at a price. Thane was on death's door up in the hospital wing. His son err... Thane Junior was with him. We say a few prayers and Thane finally passes away. Sad times. There are far too many deaths in these games for my liking
I remember Freya saying this and it didn't make much sense to me at the time.
I assumed it was something I missed on DLC or something but it turns out that choice is now! His handsome face was waiting for me back on the Normandy and he lets me know that he's been offered a job working on the Citadel. I could see he was dying to join my crew though so it was an easy decision to make. Welcome back to the Normandy, son!
So does this mean I still have one more crew mate to find?
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense now. All those stages seemed more like arenas than actual levels.
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
Oh! Yeah I must have thought you were further! Yes you have the DLC one and just a normal story one.
Agreed with Kai-Leng. He abuses 'cutscene power to the max' all the damn time. No matter what you do, he runs rings around you. He's basically a walking spanner in the works. Plus he killed Thane, so he's a bastard.
I do like the N7 missions. There's not actually that many of them, and from about this point onwards there's less and less non-main missions in the story, DLC missions notwithstanding.
Arrae: Ex-Cerberus Scientists
Time to claim some former Cerberus employees for my own! We land on Arrae and it would appear that Cerberus do not take kindly to people handing in their resignation. Maybe they didn't give four weeks' notice or something but still... gunning them down seems harsh.
They were under heavy fire as soon as we landed. Shepard was in confident mood and was busy humming "you can fight like a Krogan, run like a leopard but you'll never be better than Commander Shepard" whilst taking out Cerberus soldiers. A familiar face takes a bullet to the torso... it's Jacob! Hang on, pal. Be there in a jiffy!
We mop up the stragglers and head into the hangar to chat to everyone and ohhhh... it looks like I'm about to find out who Jacob cheated on Pumpkin's FemShep with! We're introduced to head-honcho scientist Dr. Cole (fair play Jacob, she's pretty hot) who gives us the run-down. We need to get a satellite dish back on line along with the facility's anti-aircraft guns. These poor ex-Cerberus peeps will then be free to leave!
We pick up a load of cool gear and chat to everyone. If I'd not known about Pumpkin's issues, I would have thought that Jacob and Dr. Cole were quite sweet. Ah well, I'm gonna help you all out regardless because I'm nice.
In the words of Ace Rimmer, "Roight, let's get cracking!" We climbed up to the roof and oh hello Cerberus-people-that-can't-see-us! Don't mind me while I just explode your heads with my deadly sniper rifle. Within minutes we'd achieved our first objective and the satellite was back on line.
Okily-dokily. Time to get those guns going again! It was a bit of a trek to the anti-aircraft guns and sh*t the bed... I lost my shield in about a second thanks to a trigger-happy Cerberus dude at a gun turret. OK, hide. We took out the on-foot goons before creeping slowly forward like a leopard (everyone! - "but you'll never be better than Commander Shepard!!") keeping out of the turret's sights.
When close enough, I tried sniping the guy at the turret but I could barely see him. All of a sudden though, the firing stopped and when I climbed up there... he was nowhere to be seen. Either my bullet had a delayed effect or he evaporated. Unlikely it was the latter.
OK, almost there! We activate one of the AA guns but the other one is all "computer says no" so I tell Garrus to get fixing it whilst me and Kaidan, the old team, kick ass! Oh yeah, this is my first mission with Kaidan this game. It's good to have him back!
Whilst Garrus was busy, a load of drop ships turned up and ohyesohyesohyes... the gun turret from before is obviously now free! These guys were sorry they ever decided to jump out of their ships. I was deadly! Goons were exploding in mid-air before they'd even hit the ground! It was literally the opening scene from Saving Private Ryan and lasted barely a minute. Cerberus dead, AA guns repaired!
We head back into the facility heroes, though no-one came to congratulate us on our brave bravery. Fine then, I'll leave your sorry asses to get killed next time. We get everyone ready to evacuate and our mission is almost over UNTIL... dramatic capitalised word... a mech shows up to try and scupper our escape. I equip some disruptor ammo on it's ass and that was all she wrote!
We make our escape and have a brief chat with Jacob. I suppose I'd be willing to add him to my crew but his heart was elsewhere, namely his luuuuurvergirl, Dr. Cole. Fine pal, off you trot. There was no mention of her being pregnant but I may have missed that, I'm not sure. Congrats anyway, you two!
Tune in next time Dr. Coles' paternity test are revealed live on The Jeremy Kyle Show with some surprising results.
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
Yeah but like, he just moves on from you. Like not even sorry about it.
Jacobs a dick.
There was much fun, frolicks and general hi-jinx Not that he reads this thread but... inB4 Sephex says "I served under General Hi-jinx at such-and-such war" over at the Citadel following this mission so prepare yourselves for some juicy gossip with our motley crew!
After the last mission, I had a load of emails back on my terminal. Liara wants to meet for a date, Kaidan wants to buy me dinner, Garrus wants to shoot the breeze, Miranda wants a comm chat... all back on the Citadel. Fine game, I take the hint!
Before docking, there was a hilarious moment down in the crew quarters as Garrus and James compared penis sizes. Not literally, they swapped war stories and sorry James... but Garrus has you over a barrel here. Again. not literally.
Oh, and this happened before the above mission but Traynor asked to come over to Shepard's quarters for a game night. Sounds like fun! Over you pop, my dear. We played a fierce game of chess and she has top banter. I like her a lot! I may explore her romance option on my FemShep play through.
Upon arrival at the Citadel, I thought I'd do some roaming around every section and that should tick all the boxes. The first moment was quite possibly my favourite. Down in the refugee camp, Conrad Verner shows up and we have a brief chat and suddenly a nearby guy pulls a gun on me! An incredibly hilarious slow-motion cut-scene occurs as Conrad dives valiantly in front of a bullet for me. It was made even more hilarious when it turns out the guy was firing blanks. That's in relation to his gun and not his sperm potency and... aww! He and Jenna (the barmaid from ME1) have a moment! It looks like they're both gonna have a nice ending. Lovely
I stopped briefly over at Purgatory and persuaded Joker to give things a go with EDI. Next thing I know they're all cuddled up on a table looking lovey-dovey. Aww, this is a nice update so far, isn't it?! No-one's dead yet, at least.
OK, Presidium Commons next and Kaidan follows through with his promise to buy me dinner. You're too kind, my fellow spectre! He really opens up and says he wants to feel that "something special" with someone. He then tells me of his feelings for me and I'm like "Oh man, I would love to, you handsome bastard but I'm fully committed to Liara. I'm sorry." I genuinely was too. To be continued in a subsequent play through, ya big stud
Next up is my sweet maiden of the blue persuasion! We have a little heart-to-heart and she says she's lucky to have a friend like me. Wait... what? Friend?? I'VE BEEN FRIEND-ZONED!! Kaidan, come back!! I tell her that I want to be more than just friends (obvs!) and she's all "I'm glad, I feel the same way". Phew! I then proceeded to stick my tongue down her throat. All is well.
Finally was my bro-meet with Garrus! This was awesome too! I suggest the bar (because you know, it's me) but he's all like "I've got a better idea" in that cool way he's got. We grab a ship and head to the roof of one of the Citadel walkways for a spot of target practice! We take turns throwing little flasks out for each other and sniping them. I am clearly the superior marksman but I love Garrus too much and I let the guy win. This was worth it, if only for his victory cry of "I am Garrus Vakarian... and this is my favourite spot on the Citadel!"
Happy times.
Last edited by Bubba; 03-22-2017 at 10:42 PM.
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
Daww yes all these moments are super sweet. I always let garrus win too
Those set of moments are probably my favourite of the 'catching up in the Citadel' ones. But I always beat Garrus.
It was a lovely time amidst all the chaos.
I'm finding it hard to pick a favourite game out of the three at the minute. I know I'm only halfway through this one, but there has been some amazing missions and moments. Plus, I haven't even touched the DLC yet!
ME2 and ME3 are obviously much more polished games but I actually found the planet exploration element of ME1 very addictive and quite therapeutic! Plus, the story has been excellent across all three games. I just don't know!
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
Yeah I really like ME1 the best story wise. The combat in 2 and 3 is great though.
ME: 2 was never really about the story. Oh to be sure, there's the collectors to investigate, but what carries the game is the interactions between all of your companions. The dossier and loyalty missions were always the best parts of ME: 2, in my opinion, besides the DLC.
ME: 1 is probably weighted towards story slightly more than characters, but it focuses more on exploration and scene-setting, which makes sense being the first one. In a more rail-roaded fashion, ME: 3 again focuses on the points raised in the first one, offering resolutions to many of the issues raised and hinted at in the first game. I do wish there were more meaningful sidequests other than "hey, I have this ancient obelisk/holy book/military banner, have this", but the combat sidequests that are there are good. Plus the DLC in that game is the best of the bunch in my opinion.
I think to truly appreciate ME you have to look at the whole. Each game really fits into the next and carries forward the story, which is probably the greatest strength behind the series.
Well, well, well...
Gif 3.gif
Yup, me.
I could not leave Shepard and his crew hanging so it's time we finished this. I would not have you read back through my horrendously convoluted waffling bullsh*t so here is summary of what has happened on my Mass Effect 3 playthrough...
- Earth is attacked by reapers, Shepard escapes, boy dies, very sad, recruit James
- We fly to Mars, Cerberus causing sh*t with husks, recruit Liara, Dr Ava hurts Kaidan, we kill the bitch
- Citadel: Recruit Diana Allers & Dr Chaka Khan
- Palaven: Recruit Garrus, kill stuff, extract General Victus
- Normandy: EDI takes over Dr Ava's body, looks hot
- Grissom Academy: Meet Jack, evacuate students, kill things with a mech
- Sur'Kesh: Recruit Padok, cry again about Mordin, rescue and recruit Eve the Krogan, kill more Cerberus
- Attican Traverse: Find team of Krogan, meet Grunt, kill rachni, help Queen Rachni escape (again), Grunt goes bad ass
- Tuchunka: Find General Victus' son and his Turian mates, kill harvester (flying dragon thing), Victus' son buggers up, find out there is a bomb on Tuchunka
- Tuchunka Bomb: Find bomb, Victus' son disarms it then dies, Victus sad
- Priority Tuchunka: We're off to cure the genophage, I choose NOT to sabotage the mission, kill baddies, resident Queen Thresher Maw and Reaper fight, the latter dies, Padok cures the genophage then dies, very sad
- Priority Citadel 2: Cerberus attacking Citadel, Thane saves Salarian ambassador from Kai-Leng, Thane is stabbed, we chase Kai-Leng, he crashes our flying car, kill more Cerberus, meet Kaidan, he's evacuating the council, Councillor Udina has sold us out to Cerberus, Kaidan kills him, Thane dies, very sad, Kaidan recruited
- Arrae Ex-Cerberus Scientists: Meet Jacob, re-align satellite, AA guns repaired, escape with everyone
- Citadel update: Chess with Traynor, Conrad slo-mo save, Joker loves EDI, dinner with Kaidan, tongue action with Liara, bro-meet with Garrus, all is well
I think that just about covers everything. Please can no-one mention DLC as it's not happening and it upsets me to think about it. If I can figure it out then I'll play them on my Renegade FemShep playthrough and tag their updates on at the end of the thread. Meanwhile... we're about to investigate a Geth Dreadnought apparently. Stay tuned for the next official update tomorrow!
Last edited by Bubba; 06-09-2017 at 02:54 PM.
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