It's all over.
I was gonna wrap this up in one update but I've changed my mind. It'll be one post for the lead-up to the end... then one for the ending.
Buckle up!
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
Was that dafuq for the ending? xD
Unpopular opinion: I quite like the ending. But, to each their own. There are definitely problems with it.
Priority: End of Bubba's Mass Effect Adventures
Well, I expected things to be tasty... and they were! Not just gammon-egg-and-chips tasty... but Chinese-duck-pancakes-with-cucumber-spring-onion-and-hoisin-sauce tasty!
A year of honing my skills on these games have turned me into a c**t-killing bad-ass. I now effortlessly switch from sniper to rifle to shotgun and mow down all comers. My dear Liara was on hand with her maxed-out biotic powers and Tali was on hand with her super-handy combat/defence drones. Good to go!
All you mako-haters from ME1 must have thoroughly enjoyed the start of this mission. We advance under cover of a pair of gung-ho mako bad boys. It does not end well for them. The first one gets blown up and the second one is inconveniently set on fire by a Harvester. Oh dear.
I've decided that Banshees are my most hated enemy in the entire Mass Effect series. Their scream is horrible and just when I have them in my sights, they teleport away. NO. STOP IT. I took this f***er down first to get him out of the way. The Harvester on the other hand, was a very good boy. Whose-a-good-boy?!! You-are!! Oooshaboo!! Yeah, he just sat there and let me shoot him. *pats his corpse on the head when walking past*
We get a call from a nearby patrol saying they need our help. Of course you do. We head into a building and end up in a parking garage. We happen upon a group of husks huddled around a barrel fire singing There Are Two Kinds of Love. They don't take kindly to being interrupted and charge at us. These guys are a piece of piss now but they were soon joined by a couple of Brutes. I hid behind an old jeep in the corner and kept myself on the opposite side to them. We did the dance-around-the-car-dance until I finished them off with my shotgun.
We climb a ladder to somebody's swanky apartment. Well, I'm sure it used to be swanky before the invasion of huge, horrible killing machines. Stepping out onto the street disturbed another husk singing troupe. These pricks were singing Dancing Queen so I threw all my grenades at them as quickly as I could.
We made our way down the street taking out Marauders and Ravagers. Suddenly, a Brute burst out of a Hooters (the dirty dawg) and took down my shield. Run away! Cue much scrabbling by me before retreating and taking him down from a distance.
Right, what followed was a lot of killing and advancing. I'm going to save you the blow-by-blow account though. Some of the locations (full of reaper uglies) featured: A retail shop (possibly HMV), a cute little square (a little tapas bar here would be lovely) and a restaurant dining room (where the only thing being 'served' were the Reapers). Holy crap, I'm hilarious.
After the restaurant was a long alleyway which looked suspiciously empty. Maybe I'm being pessimistic. The game might be giving me a little break before the next horrible thing arrives... NOPE. We arrive at the end of the alley when two Brutes come smashing into the alley giving us nowhere to go.
(SPOILER)Pic 2.jpg
Obviously, we do a quick 180 and sprint back to the other end of the alley to take refuge. Methinks they'll have a slight advantage when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. Hide, overload, hide, snipe... job done.
OK, we arrive at (what turns out to be) the final big section of uglies. Here's the lowdown: We're still trying to reach the conduit which will beam us up to the Citadel. Unfortunately, it's being guarded by the biggest Reaper you've ever seen. Luckily, the place we've just arrived at is home to a couple of huge rocket launchers... both facing towards the big boy! We just had to run about the area like headless chickens, protect the launchers, and kill anything that moves. Hoooo boy.
I'm not going to detail all my deaths here but rest assured... I died A LOT. The first wave was manageable with just Marauders and stuff. Next came a couple of Brutes which I stupidly took care of using a nearby one-shot Hydra cannon. Yeah, I should have saved that for the next wave...
Sh*t the smurfing bed. The final wave consisted of SIX Brutes, THREE Banshees and a Harvester. Speaking of final waves, I gave mine A LOT here. A LOT. Did I mention how much I hate Banshees? Well I do. I really do. I don't think I'd even finished killing everything when EDI pipes up saying that the rockets were ready to fire. About smurfing time!
I leg it over there, activate the controls and BOOM! The rocket fires and hits the Reaper right in the... red dot thing, whatever that is. It's not completely down but the Conduit is exposed! More legging it ensued as we all dashed for the Conduit. Allies were disintegrating left, right and centre as the Reaper kept blasting away with his big, red beam thingy. Suddenly, the screen turns white and... I honestly thought I was dead.
Not quite as it turns out! We wake up looking like absolute s**t BUT... we were only yards from the Conduit! Man, this is exciting! We stagger over like a drunken Irishman, occasionally shooting the odd Reaper with some very shakey aiming. Despite a few stumbles along the way, we drag ourselves over and into the Conduit.
Stay with me... we're almost there!
Last edited by Bubba; 08-25-2017 at 02:26 PM.
That section where you're holding out against the waves of enemies is intense. Hands down the hardest section in all of the Mass Effect games, I'd say.
Priority: F**k the f**king ending, man. F**k it.
We materialise in (though I wasn't sure at first) The Citadel. There were bodies lying everywhere like a party at Charlie Sheen's house. It appears that Anderson had gotten here first and was tapping away at some console. Wait for me, man!
Shepard limps forward and up a walkway eventually arriving in a huge room (which kinda looks like Professor X's Cerebro place) with our pal Anderson still tap-tap-tapperooing. It turns out he's actually being controlled by none other than... The Intrusive Man!
It's at this moment where I would like to remove any further recollection of Mass Effect 3 as it did its very best (but luckily not managing) to ruin the entire series for me. It has to be said, this is partially due to my own stupidity but anyway... here we go.
The Erosive Man (who looks epic as half-reaper, btw) is still giving his verbal diarrhoea about trying to control the Reapers. He then decides he quite likes the look of Anderson's sidearm. He removes it from its holster and points it straight at Anderson's temple. A renegade interrupt flashes up! Nah, I'm not falling for that. I know how this works. Shepard will keep him talking until the paragon interrupt option appea... NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
How am I only given a renegade interrupt?!! I thought I was a goodieWhen a second renegade interrupt flashed up I didn't hesitate. He tried shooting me but of course... we get there first. Yeah! Burn in imaginary fiery, sub-world you bastard!
Shepard is literally on his last legs now and it really doesn't look good for him. I always thought he might die for the cause in the end. After a quick comm link to his pals outside, Shepard opens up the arms of the Citadel and docks with the Crucible. OK ending, let's see what you've got.
We are approached my that annoying little boy from my dreams. Well, Shepard's dreams... I don't dream about little boys. He turns out to be the Catalyst (or a human representation of it, at least) and he has some interesting news... we can actually control the Reapers! The scrawny little dude is about to present me with three options...
Option 1: Destroy the Reapers
Option 2: Control the Reapers
Option 3: Synthesis
The last option was interesting and was indeed very tempting. We synch together organic and Reaper/geth life into one new species. Hmmm, interesting. But I've come all this way trying to destroy the pricks and dammit that's what I'm going to do.
I guide an increasingly-shakey Shepard up a nearby ramp. There were three paths to explore so we'll get the uphill ascent out of the way first, otherwise Shepard might not even make it. We get to the first option and... prepare yourselves for some incredible stupidity on my part.
I arrive there to find a 'control panel'. Instead of thinking "OK, this is the 'control' option. I'll go check out the others". I instead thought "Oh look, a control panel. I must be able to choose one of the three options by just accessing this terminal."
Wrong.
Yup, I had inadvertently triggered the wrong ending. What a f**king idiot. Shepard melts into a load of weird blue stuff, and huge pulse of blue energy bursts out across the galaxy. Let's see how much of a f**k-up I've made.
Initially, things look OK. The Reapers stop reaping and leave Earth... cue much rejoicing from any poor sod that is left alive. Then things go downhill quite quickly. The pulse of energy manages to destroy every single Mass Relay in the galaxy. Also, Joker is suddenly flying the Normandy away from one of the Mass Relay explosions. He's furiously pressing buttons on the console like he's playing Track and Field after taking a tonne of drugs. He manages to escape and crash-land on a nearby planet.
Joker emerges from the wreckage followed by Liara (who was on my team heading to the Conduit, remember!) and finally Garrus. They take in their surroundings and the camera pans cinematically away and the game ends.
You can imagine my surprise at the suddenness of the ending. I sat there for about ten minutes trying to digest what I'd just seen. I was then overcome with anger (both at the game and my own stupidity) and decided I wanted to see the ending if I'd done what I meant to do and destroyed the Reapers. *Pulls up Youtube*
What? WHAT?! You get the same f**king ending! Oh wait, no. It's a f**king red pulse instead of a blue one. Relays destroyed, (okay, Reapers as well this time) Joker flys away, crashes on jungle planet. Even more annoyed I then watched the Synthesis ending.
Are you taking the f**king piss? A green pulse, relays destroyed, Joker flys away, crashes on Jungle planet.
I was awake for an hour thinking about this before falling asleep. My next post is basically a s**t-list of everything wrong with what just happened. Mr Carnelian - feel free to try and explain how you could possibly like that ending. It literally had me like...
:Freybert:
Last edited by Bubba; 08-25-2017 at 04:03 PM.
Take it you didn't get the free "Extended Ending" DLC? Feel free to look up the Extended Ending cutscenes on youtube.
Also, the relays are only permanently destroyed if you done goofed (again, that might be with the Ending DLC downloaded, I forget).
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
If you destroy them your shepard has a *BREATH* moment, otherwise yer ded.
Well, if you do the "Control" ending you don't exactly "die", just become the incorporeal Reaper Queen/King. So, the only one in which you're DEFINITELY dead is the Synthesis ending.Originally Posted by Freya
Yeah, I really need to get the DLC because I am not a happy bunny. Not one bit.
Yeah, I saw that on one of the endings on YouTube. Lame. That's your reward for doing everything right? Shepard inhaling? No.
Ok, where shall I start?
- How about some closure? I've been journeying with these characters for over a year and I've grown to love (most of) them. I want to know what happens to everyone.
- Will Liara be able to move on without me?
- Do Garrus and Liara have babies together on her home world?
- Do Wrex and wifey have the baddest Krogans EVER?
- Do Joker and EDI have weird cyberbabies?
- Does Jacob do the dirty again?
- Will Miranda's bum ever start sagging?
No, we don't get any of this. Just Shepard taking a breath. That could have been his last for all I know! What happens to everyone, game?!!
- What happens now the Mass Relays are f**ked? OK, the DLC might address this but... every smurfing member of every smurfing race are currently at Earth trying to win the war. How do they get back home? Oh, I'm sure Earth has the resources to put everyone up. No worries.
- Why was Liara on the Normandy with Joker when she was on the Conduit mission with me like ten minutes earlier? OK, the passage of time is unclear but it's still very jarring. Surely she wouldn't just abandon me and fly off into the sunset with Joker? Bitch.
- Also, why was the Normandy running away when every other ship was still fighting a good fight? Why didn't it hang around to, I don't know... MAKE SURE I WAS ALL RIGHT.
Ok, I had more but I don't want to whinge too much. I think I'm just upset because it's all very fresh. I can honestly say it's one of the best game series I've ever played. It was sooo good. This is why I'm upset because I was fully invested in every character and it didn't tell me anything. I just feel cheated.
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
Yeah so just ignore that ending and the game is pretty good. Those are the same questions everyone asked.
I'm trying my best to ignore it!
It's a shame because I'd say ME:3 was at least on par with ME:2 up until that point. Still excited to play through them all again. I'm gonna make damn sure I have all the DLC this time.
Closure is a personal choice and it would be impossible to show what happens to everyone. Although, if you chose the renegade option EDI is destroyed along with all the other stuff, so there's that.
Now that the mass relays are smurfed, we rebuild them. I guess normal ending doesn't say so, but extended ending does.
Your teammates are on the Normandy because it picked them up and you told it to get the hell out of there before your bright white flash part. That was an extended ending thingy.
Keep whinging.
...
Personally, I felt that the Extended Endings gave just about enough closure. The ending still feels a bit rushed, even with the Extended stuff, but it honestly doesn't bother me that much. I'm in the minority on that, though.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
