Will do! I completely forgot to do this after Miranda's loyalty mission. I have been chatting to them regularly though. So much so that my chats with Jacob usually end up like this.Originally Posted by Formalhaut
Shepard: "I actually just want to talk about you."
Jacob: "You say this to me every day and it's really weird. Leave me alone, you freak."
Dossier - The Justicar
I've enjoyed my time on Illium so much I decided to stick around for a while. Plus, I remember Liara telling me some info on a couple of potential recruits. Time to find the Justicar! Sounds like some sort of vehicle I'd drive round in serving justice. As cool as that would be it's probably unlikely.
I remember chatting to a nice lady about this on my tour round Illium. I managed to find her at the tracking station. She was called Daria, who has clearly changed a lot since her days of playing an animated, cynical teenager on MTV. I've already forgotten the conversation we had previously so it just gave me the option to get a cab somewhere. As a professional Spectre, I'll take my usual approach and try to figure out what I'm supposed to do when I get there.
It looks like some sh*t has gone down. There's a dwarlian (anyone know what race these things are? The short, stumpy ones?) here who is trying to leave so he can sell his crap. Officer Aulayna won't let him leave though as the guy's business partner has just been killed. This dwarlian, Brad Pitne, denies any involvement and says it wasColonel Mustard in the library with the candlestickEclipse. Whatever happened, the guy is scared sh*tless of our friend the Justicar.
I had a chat with Officer Aulayna and the Justicar are basically a law unto themselves. Kind of like Judge Dredd. Karl Urban Judge Dredd though... not Sylvester Stallone Judge Dredd because that didn't even happen so I don't know why I'm even mentioning him. Anyway, this Justicar is getting a bit big for their boots and Aulayna is wanting to arrest them. I told her of my intent to recruit her so she'd be leaving anyway. Aulayna agreed. Everybody wins!
Aulayna was so desperate to be rid of the Justicar that she gave me permission to cross the police line and do some investamagating. It looks like Brad Pitne may have been right about the Eclipse because they were here in force. They were a piece of piss to take out though as I made very quick work of them. A bit further along and I come face-to-face with my potential new recruit... Samara!
She's trying to find out the name of some ship that some criminal has recently left Illium on. The Asari officer she's chatting to though refuses and Samara does not like that. At least I don't think she did as she proceeded to break the Asari's neck with her boot. A little extreme, I thought. We have a brief chat (from a safe distance) and if we can help her find out the name of this ship, she'll agree to join our awesome team. Fair deal!
Game saved and mission to be completed tonight!
ME: 3 is actually much better about telling you that they don't want to chat. If you go up to them and talk when they have nothing new to say, they'll go something like "commander" and won't drag you into a proper cut-scene conversation. Which is nice, and means you don't have to spend time having to furiously hit the 'goodbye' option every damn time.Will do! I completely forgot to do this after Miranda's loyalty mission. I have been chatting to them regularly though. So much so that my chats with Jacob usually end up like this.
Shepard: "I actually just want to talk about you."
Jacob: "You say this to me every day and it's really weird. Leave me alone, you freak."
Riiiiide ze justicar?
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
IF only karl Urban was in these games too.
Officer Aulyana lol
Right, we ended last time with Shepard agreeing to help Samara find the name of a ship someone/something left Illium on. She was actually now being held in custody by Officer Aulayna for a period of 24 hours. Apparently, once this 24 hours is up Samara will go ape sh*t and kill everyone. Sounds reasonable. In any case, I better get a shifty on... so yeah, that's what I did.
Samara had told us that Brad Pitne (they're called Volus! Though I much prefer Dwarlian...) had some more information for us. We caught up with the stumpy f**ker back at the police station. He didn't know the name of the ship, which I expected, otherwise this would be a short-ass mission. I probably shouldn't be saying "short-ass" in this guy's company, oh well. Anyway, he gave us a copy of a key that he made which would give us access to the Eclipse base. Time to ruffle some feathers!
We jumped into an elevator and were greeted on the next floor by a lone mech who we promptly dispatched. Come on, game! Is that all you've got?! Hilarity ensued around the corner when Grunt let go a toxic fart and was immediately surrounded by his brown poop gas. Jack and I were highly amused. The fun didn't last long though as a fartometer appeared in the bottom right-hand corner and it turns out Grunt's bum burp was actually killing us. What the hell, man? What the smurf have you been eating?!
As it transpires it wasn't Grunt farting at all. I vaguely remember Brad Pitne telling us about this hazardous substance that he'd left lying all over the place. The careless prick had left them everywhere. Blowing them up was kind of a double-edged sword. It was effective for taking out Eclipse dudes but we then had to wade through the cloud and try not to die.
I picked up a sweet shotgun in the next room and gave it to Grunt by way of an apology. We then discovered an Asari Eclipse merc hiding behind a desk. She was clearly scared and told us she didn't do any fighting. I felt sorry for her (and she was cute) so I decided not to kill her. Though I did make her go and sit on the naughty step and have a long think about what she'd done.
I was slowly making my way upstairs. I cleared out a few rooms full of Eclipse, credits, platinum and poop gas. I eventually came to this huge area with baddies and an ominous-looking stationary gunship. Something tells me it won't be stationary for very long. When I say stationary I mean it was stood still... not that it was made out of pencils... but you knew that. Shut up, Bubba.
Picked up a few goodies in the next room and listened to a recording on a computer. It was that nice Asari girl I sent to the naughty step before. Bitch! She killed the Volus! Here's me feeling sorry for her... I should have popped a cap in her ass! Oh well, I got paragon points for letting her go, I suppose. Still! Just you wait until renegade FemShep is in town, lady!
Well, I knew it was coming. I crossed over a bridge and the pencil gunship from before loomed into view. I'd just picked up some heavy ammo so I took the hint and decided to lazer the thing to death. In hindsight, it would have been wise to intersperse this with you know... taking cover. I was dead in less than ten seconds. My second, far more cautious attempt, was successful.
Pushing on I found another Volus stood at a vending machine. This part actually had me laughing out loud! He was clearly off his tits on drugs and was rambling on about how he was the most powerful biotic in the world/galaxy/universe. This guy was freakin' hilarious as he was about to storm into the next room and get his arse riddled with bullets. I managed to convince him to go for a sleep instead. Haha, honestly I was laughing so much here!
Final confrontation in the next room. There were a wave of mechs, an eclipse captain and a sh*tload of Grunt poop gas. I decided this was worth using some more heavy ammo and made pretty short work of all involved. Though I did break a tonne of crates expelling enough gas to kill the entire British Navy. We made it out alive but not before finding the name of the ship that Samara needed! Time to head back and hope she hasn't annihilated the whole of Illium.
Luckily, she was just sat on Officer Aulayna's desk. I gave her the good news and she was so grateful that she got down on her knees (not like that, you dirty buggers) and swore allegiance to Shepard. She is one of us! I love Samara, she is thebreastbest. I mean, she ischestjust fantastic. She's also pretty hot for a thousand-year-old.
I'd clearly been thorough on my mission as I completed a couple of sidequests here too. I shopped Brad Pitne's illegal shenanigans to Officer Aulayna whilst also solving her murder for her too. I am the best. Just the best.
Tune in next time when under the influence of red sand, Grunt reveals his burning ambition to play Fantine in a stage performance of Les Misérables.
I am a biotic GOD! Fear me!
iirc if you let him go in. He powers up a ball blast. Then it hits the commander and its tiny or something. Lol I kinda forgot.
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
I love the little things in this series like that. I crack up each time at him.
Also the letting the girl go thing is one of the first times I think that being a good guy gets you a bad result. Which is refreshing, cause sometimes you can't do the good thing without having negative results. That's life.
It was hilarious! I love how this series doesn't always take itself too seriously.
Yeah, gives it an interesting dynamic! I always try to be honest in my reactions. I'm generally taking the paragon route but I don't always take it. There were a few times when I've thought the renegade approach was more appropriate. Letting the council die in ME1 was definitely not the paragon choice!
A few more developments. After chatting with the crew I've now acquired Jack and Mordin's loyalty missions! I've also upgraded a load of armour and weaponry so I have barely any materials left and no Element Zero! I was thinking I should be saving that for something but it's too late now!
Also, all the fish in Shepard's quarters are dead
This infuriated me. I only forgot to feed them for ONE GORRAM MISSIONAlso, all the fish in Shepard's quarters are dead
I'm going to say all your fish died because you're parashep. It's not true, but I'm saying it anyways. Renshep's fish are too scared to die.
...
Dossier - The Assassin
I'm the sniper specialist. I should be the assassin. It could be added to my list of other titles... Commander, Spectre and Sex Bandit. Fine, whoever he/she is they better be pretty damn good.
We remain on Illium for this mission which suits me fine as I love it here. I'd already spoken to the lady that starts the quest. Sabrina the Teenage Asari was waiting over in Shipping. Shepard has no qualms about getting a car with a strange Asari so we soon off into the night. We had a semi-friendly chat before she dropped us off at the bottom of this huge tower. This place was apparently home to our potential new recruit and a crapload of Eclipse mercenaries. Bring it on!
I was thrust into action straight away as a couple of defenceless Salarians were gunned down by some naughty mech enemies. They then turned their attention to myself, Jack and Kasumi. Bad move guys, bad move. Once they were downed, I spotted that one of the poor Salarians was still drawing breath. A nice paragon interrupt moment allowed me to apply a soothing ointment and give the guy a back rub thereby saving his life. What additional information did this guy have to offer following my life-saving actions? He told us we're probably gonna get shot at in the tower. Cheers pal.
The next room we enter was full of conveniently-placed waist-high crates. I knew from my years of playing games this can mean only one thing... people are going to try and kill me. I found a cracking spot to crouch with my sniper rifle and soon the air was filled with the sounds of bullet-on-mech... as well as my teammates crying "Good shot!", "Nicely done", "Tally Ho" and all that jazz.
We moved around the next corner and the Eclipse mercs were now showing up in force too. The enemies here are relentless. There were a few irritating biotics too. Ugh, go away. When I'd cleared the entire floor of goons I finally had chance to do a bit of exploring. I hacked a terminal for credits and then found OOOOHH!! A Viper Sniper Rifle! This bad boy could fire a lot faster with no annoying reload after every shot. This made me exceedingly happy!
Before activating a nearby elevator, I hacked another door which housed three more Salarian dudes. It would seem our friendly assassin locked them in here to keep them safe from all the Eclipse. I suppose this was a nice thing for our assassin to do but it was just an empty room he stuffed them in. He/she could have left the poor guys a deck of cards or Monopoly or something.
I called the elevator and I was unsurprised to see a load of bad guys pour out when the doors opened. They were all pretty weak except a huge unwashed Krogan Bounty Hunter. I kept my distance. Mainly because he looked like he had breath that could cut through bank vaults.
Exiting the elevator further up the tower, it was time for Shepard to turn on the old charm once again. A merc there was flapping his gums about bad guy stuff. "Evil things grrrr! Death to all grrrr!" You know the stuff. Shepard chatted to him for two minutes during which time he became a changed man. He now has a smile on his face, a song in his heart... and pays £3 a month to sponsor a child in Africa.
We cleared the next huge room of enemies and there was another locked room with another two Salarians. They also had been locked up by the assassin for their own safety. They were clearly grumpy about it though as one of them pulled a gun on me. Shepard was on charm factor ten though and this exchange ended without incident. Apparently though, the assassin was taking out the Eclipse garbage pretty efficiently. Good effort, son! ...or daughter.
The next room was standard shoot-things-in-the-face fare with one particularly difficult Eclipse commando. Do I not like biotics. I just sent Jack and Kasumi to deal with him whilst I hid behind a crate. Delegation is the key to being a great leader.
There was just one last bridge to traverse at the top of the tower and we were home free. There were two annoying gun turrets making progress slow. Where is the mako when you need it? After a lot of fannying about I just took them out with my heavy lazer gun thingy. We pushed on into the penthouse for a final showdown with Nassana and her guards.
I actually did bugger all though as our assassin friend dropped in from the ceiling and took everyone out like Jason Bourne on crack. The guy's name was Thane and he's a bit of a strange cat. He prayed for all the people he just mercilessly killed and then told us that he was ill and dying or something. Whatever man, I'm not shelling out another £3 a month.
Luckily, he wasn't after charity and offered to join our team for free. Aye, go on then. We boarded the Normandy again where Jacob acted a bit dickish towards Thane for reasons unknown. Maybe Thane slept with his girlfriend behind his back and got her pregnant. Oh wait, no. THAT WAS YOU, PRICK.
Tune in next time when Thane is found to own a copy of Abba's Greatest Hits and is subsequently hung, drawn and quartered.
I feel like if the assassin had left monopoly in the locked room with Salarians you would have opened the door to find them all dead. Murder-suicide.
...
Dossier: Tali
The opening cinematic to this mission was a real tear-jerker as we see the tragic death of a planetary bug who spontaneously combusted. At least I thought this was the case until I stepped out into the sunshine. Man, it was like Dubai in July and I'd forgotten to bring Factor 5000 sunblock. OK, so sunlight can kill us. Now I just need to make sure we don't get wet or get fed after midnight.
We made our way cautiously to some blast doors. Locked. Dammit. Oh well, I didn't use Tali too much in ME1 anyway. I turn around to head back to the Normandy when I spot a little office off to the side. OK, we'll take a peek. We find a message from her and it looks like she's holed up here somewhere. Fine, we'll come and get you, you wacky Quarian! We popped open the blast doors and pushed on.
We'd barely taken a few steps inside when a dropship arrives dumping a load of geth in front of us. "Aha!" I thought. Surely these guys will be stupid enough to walk into the sunlight thus being fried like a cajun catfish! Well, yes they were but for some reason they are not affected by this dying sun going nova. Lucky them. Not that lucky though as we dispatched them in about ten seconds.
Next area was rammed with baddies waiting to be taken down. I like the stay-out-of-the-sun dynamic as it gives the usual easy fights an extra element of difficulty. Spices things up nicely! I found a sweet pistol upgrade and a few other bits as I mowed down enemies like the tornado of destruction that I am.
He then picked up a Quarian radio and had a chat with some Quarian called Kal Drogo. It looks like his team are there to extract Tali the same as us. We agreed to combine forces to rescue Tali which is awesome! Well, it would have been if a dropship hadn't shown up at that exact moment and wiped out the entire Quarian force. Lovely. Also, a huge concrete block was now blocking our progress which needed to be blown up with explosives. Explosives that I didn't have. Great.
So there were two charges lying around this area that I had to locate. Sounds simple enough. You just knew there was gonna be some trouble waiting for me though and hoooo boy... there was plenty. I managed to get myself trapped here getting shot at whilst also getting a lovely tan from the deadly sun. Cue very quick death. I eventually cleared the area as well as the concrete block courtesy of my newly acquired explosives.
The room behind had a few more pick-ups. It also had another recorded message from Tali reminding me to pick up milk, eggs and fabric softener from the local shop on my way there. As it happened, we were able to speak to Tali directly a moment later through a comms device. She was up sh*t creek without a paddle. She's in some building that's being attacked by geth and all her Quarian team mates have been horribly killed. Don't worry, Tali! I'll rescue you, fair bloom, or my name's not John Shepard, Space Adventurer.
This next bit can get to smurf. There were about a million drones (as well as geth) that kept flying towards us from the horizon. These little bastards only take one hit to kill but there were so many of them! Plus, when they work together they pack more of a punch than Punchy McPunchface. I ran out of sniper bullets twice trying to take these buggers down. Onward to the final showdown!
Tali's building was under bombardment from a load of geth and a particularly grumpy Colossus. Kal Drogo was in cover nearby so I thought we'd get the lowdown on what's shaking. His plan was to draw the fire of the Colossus so we could flank it and take it down. I paragon -interrupted him though to say "No way dude, you're sh*te and will no doubt f**k it up" or words to that effect. Either way, he agreed to stay low (and alive) while we took care of business.
I did take his advice though of using the far side catwalk to flank the Colossus. Getting across the platform was not simple though and I died a couple of times trying. By the time I made it across on my third attempt I was well done with this crap. I busted out my particle lazer and made quick work of the geth Colossus. Job done!
I finally came face-to-face with Tali who was mightily pleased to see me. Well, I am a handsome bastard. Kal Drogo showed up as well to announce that he was still alive. Tali was more than happy to join our team so she handed over her data to Kal Drogo and we were on our merry way. I think that's everyone I can get for now!
Tune in next time when the ship's annual Swingball competition gets way out of hand.
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
FUN FACT:
This mission was supposed to be, and the whole idea of Dark Energy consuming things such as this sun, the introduction to the whole plot of the reapers. Originally they had the reapers coming to smurf trout up because of the threat of the Dark Energy. We use Dark Matter for everything (FTL stuff, biotics, etc) and it has a negative effect of Dark Energy. Which caused this sun to go BOOM. And the reapers kill things to keep the balance cause otherwise the universe will implode!
The former head writer for the ME games and the ME novels, Drew Karpyshyn, shared this but he left in 2010 before ME3 came out. Casey Hudson, the dev, said, "screw that" even though they'd been setting it up across both ME1, 2 and the novels. And we got the different ending we did in ME3.
He left Bioware in 2014 and not surprisingly, Karpshyn came back on to Bioware in 2015.
Strange how that works and ME3 is the least favorite of a lot of fans. Weiiird huh.
Ahhhh, I wondered what happened in ME3 to get everyone so upset. All I know is that it has a questionable ending. Though apparently, my copy has the "new" ending that doesn't suck quite as much??
I could be wrong!
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