Jack - Subject Zero

Time to earn some loyalty! My infatuation with Jack is showing no signs of waning so it was an obvious choice of which one to go for first. Let's learn more about your past in order to gain valuable information which will hopefully give me access to your pants.

In true Jack style, she wants to go back to the Cerberus facility where she was tortured and experimented on... and blow the place sky high. No prob, Bob! or... Jack. Hi ho hi ho it's off to Pragia we go!

The place is atmospheric as all hell. A rainy, overgrown planet that was in desperate need of a good weeding. We head down a catwalk and into the facility. The place was full of big, empty boxes which Jack delightfully informed us contained children to be experimented on. Lovely. There were a couple of recordings a bit further on and it seems the employees here were keeping some of their shady dealings a secret from the Illusive Man. The Unaware Man! Haha LOL!

First action of the level as the facility guard dogs, otherwise known as those Varren creatures, greeted me with a smile and a sharp set of teeth. Here poochie poochie! BLAM. For anyone not sure, "blam" is my generic gunshot noise. We were in some kind of arena where they used to give Jack class A drugs and make her fight... and she loved it. No wonder she's so smurfed up.

Another message a bit further on let us know that Jack started the riot here which led to her escape. She is bad ass! No wonder I have a thing for her. We notice a fresh varren corpse stinking up the place. Someone else is here! Honestly, I thought, it'd be a pretty boring mission if there wasn't.

So this place is another hive of scum and villainy as it's used by pirates and other unsavoury characters. The next room we came to was full of those Blood Pack mercs we ran into back on Omega. If I compare the two types of enemies here to tea-dunking biscuits... The Krogan would be McVities Hobnobs. You can dunk them numerous times and they'd still be hard as nails with minimum liquid retention. The Vorcha would be Rich Tea. One dunk and they melt and end up a soggy mess in the bottom of your mug.

Once we'd taken care of the mercs, we carried on and came to a load of cells. This place looked pretty grim. A couple more messages, one with a man being offed by Subject Zero mid-message. Brutal! The next room had some more piratey-type enemies doing piratey things. They were here to loot the place but didn't take too kindly to our presence. Cue gunfight! It was pretty straight-forward apart from one guy called Karen who was a pain-in-the-arse. Eventually though, he was no more.

We finally make it through to Jack's old cell and there is a guy in there called Fresh. Apparently, he was one of the kids that were experimented on. Jack and Fresh has a rather unpleasant conversation which resulted in Jack pulling a gun with intent to kill. I made her see sense though with a paragon interrupt and she agreed to let him go. That's my girl!

OK, time to blow this place to smithereens! Jack was feeling nostalgic though and gave me a nice tour around her old cell. Highlights included the bed where she was tortured, the desk she used to hide under... and the toilet where she experienced a number of tricky bowel movements.

Final cut-scene and this place is gone FUBAR. A lovely explosion and we were back on the Normandy. It wasn't all happiness and light though as I arrived back into a huge fight between Miranda and Jack. I was able to diffuse the situation but these two clearly hate each other. They agreed to keep civil though to until our mission was complete.

Tune in next time when Shepard hires a group of drunken Russian cossack dancers for Garrus' birthday celebrations.