Collector Ship

Following Jack's loyalty mission, Kelly the psycho informs me that the Illusive man would like a little chat. Sure, why not? He better make it quick though as I'm running low on materials and I have planets to probe. He tells me about this Collector ship that's been disabled (somehow) by Turians. It's up to Shepard and his cronies to find out more about these pesky Collectors... where they're from, what they want, favourite ice cream flavours. OK, no worries I'll just do some more exploring befo...what the hell, game?! It jumped me straight there! I better not have missed anything now, you prick.

I can't deny though that I was pretty excited to see the inside of a Collector ship and it didn't disappoint! The place looked fantastic! Though it did give off an air of impending doom for me and my team. The first bad sign was an empty pod which clearly housed some satanical abomination. The second sign was the huge pile of dead human bodies a bit further along. Always encouraging.

We locate a terminal which triggers a cut scene and oh my word... we send the data to EDI and she tells us that the Collectors are using human colonists to test their own DNA. EDI notices that the Collectors have the exact same DNA as the Protheans. THAT IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.

I slowly work my way up the ship picking up upgrades, credits, heavy ammo. There was a distinct lack of enemy encounters though which is... perturbing. Something is clearly not right here. Joker says that this ship actually followed the first Normandy back in the day. Also, we found a room filled with loads of those pods. I have a bad feeling sh*t is about to go down.

Man, I hate being right. We reach another terminal and start sending info to EDI. Suddenly though, there is a major 404 error and the platform we're on shoots up into the air. AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!! These dudes were not messing about! I was attacked from every side by Collectors. The Harbingers in particular were horribly tough to bring down. Miraculously, I didn't die in this section though that was due to a couple of "MEDIGELDEPLOYED" moments along with a few pretty damn good (if I do say so myself) sniper shots.

Once the battle smoke cleared, I stuck my dongle back into the terminal and got the rest of the information. It looks like we have a way to get to the Collector home world. I'm sure that will be fun and not dangerous in the slightest. Joker then tells us the ship we're on is doing stuff so we better head to the nearest exit sharpish!

A few frantic minutes passed with us running, shooting, panicking, screaming, flapping all-the-while making our way to the exit. I just knew there was gonna be one tough bastard to beat and it showed up in the form of this Praetorian dude. Hiding was definitely the order of the day as he caused huge amounts of damage. The only problem with this strategy was the husks and Collectors that kept flanking me. Stop it, you big meanies! I decided to bust out the particle lazer weapon to take care of the Praetorian. I'm not hanging about.

Once done and dusted, we pushed on to the exit with a few more waves of enemies trying to stop us. Can I just say, the music here was AWESOME. Those pounding drums really added to the urgency of the situation. So good! The last few waves of enemies were simple enough and we were back at the dropship. We rendezvoused with the Normandy and managed to hotfoot it out of there before the Collector ship could take us down. Phew!

OK, the mission was a success as we now know where the Collectors are based... but the Illusive Man has some answering to do. The prick knew we were walking into a trap and said nothing. I clearly can't trust him as far as I could throw him. Though with my biotic powers I probably could throw him quite far... whatever, he's a dick.

I go back to the crew and we all just slag off the Illusive Man. Ultimately though, we know where to go to visit the Collectors. Apparently it's right at the centre of the galaxy which is incredibly unstable. Nice. I'm definitely not ready to advance the story at this point so I decide to hang fire and get me some team loyalty!

Tune in next time when all hell breaks loose as Mordin spikes Grunt's cup of tea with salt instead of sugar.