Legion - A House Divided

Final loyalty mission and it has an interesting set-up. Legion tells us that there are actually two types of geth. 'Heretic' geth want all organics killed. Rude. There are also 'Neutral' geth that are happy to let all organics live. Legion confirmed he was the latter. Good job mate, otherwise you'd be bitch-slapped out of an airlock.

The heretics have a dastardly plan to infect all the neutrals with a virus. This means the neutrals will be filled with hate, want all organics killed... and will start wearing hats saying "Make the galaxy great again". Legion tells us the virus is being held in the imaginatively-named Heretic Station so let's mosey!

I took Tali along as Heretic Station was a Quarian ship. Also, Quarians created the geth so obviously they get along reeeeally well... When we stepped on board, Legion told us that the virus was finished. We could either destroy it or we could actually reprogramme it to make all the heretics support Hillary be nice to organics. Oooh, I'll have a think what to do!

We head down a ramp and entered what appeared to be a disco. There was no music but the green tiles on the floor turned red when you stepped on them. Cool! What wasn't cool was by doing that I appeared to activate a load of murderous geth. Ahhhhh, now I understand. DON'T STEP ON THE GREEN TILES. The geth were tough but still no match for us. We then destroyed their hardware pods for a decent amount of credits. Nice.

The next corridor had a couple of inactive gun turrets. We hacked these bad boys in case any more geth decided to show up and lo-and-behold. Here they come! It was pretty much a shooting gallery and all the geth were eliminated in seconds. Once the shooting was done, the turrets self-destructed which I would regard as a pretty big design flaw. Thinking about it though, the manufacturer would shift far more units if they all blew up after one use. He/she is probably a billionaire. Anyway, I digress.

Further down and I encounter another geth disco. I was very careful this time not to dance my way onto the green tiles. As long as Beyonce's Crazy in Love doesn't come on because then I'd be all over that sh*t.

There were two hardware pods here surrounded by geth. Being the military genius that I am, I position Tali and Legion at one pod while I blow up the other. The explosion damaged the three surrounding geth and I easily finished them off. Tali and Legion dealt with the other three and Shepard is declared the greatest commander in the history of everything.

We eventually arrive at a huge room with geth pouring in from the sides. There were a couple of those genius one-use gun turrets in the middle of the room but Shepard would need a rocket up his arse to get over to them in time. We took out the wave the old-fashioned way. It was only afterwards that I realised I can activate those gun turrets from distance. Cheers for the heads up, game.

Christ, I'm waffling again, sorry. The next two rooms were more of the same. I activated a turret this time to make the job a piece-of-piss. There was also another disco room with another two hardware pods. See ridiculously awesome above-tactics to see how I dealt with it.

We finally arrive at the virus location. We're at the top of a platform overlooking a huge room when Legion begins tapping away at some terminal and declares "this may take a little time." No prizes for guessing what that means... FIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!

There were geth pouring up the stairs from both sides. I managed to activate a few of the downstairs turrets but it didn't stop them getting up to our platform. Bring it on, bad boys! These pricks were relentless. Loads of hunters and geth with rocket-launchers so there was lots and lots of hiding. I almost snuffed it a couple of times but I managed to hold on like a drunk woman on a bucking bronco. Wave defeated!

Decision time! Do we reprogramme the virus to make the geth charming and friendly or do we wipe the f**kers out? There's only one choice for Paragon-Shep and that was to kill them all in cold blood give them all their happy pills.

Legion then kindly informs us that the pulse from this virus will kill any organic life so we have three minutes to get out. You didn't think to mention this before, no? I was actually expecting this to be much closer due to more geth trying to slow us down. We kicked arse though and we were out of here with two minutes to spare. The Efficient Man. Legion's loyalty obtained!

Tune in next time when the pictures from Garrus' old MySpace account come back to haunt him.