Kallini: Ardat-Yakshi Monastery

Oooooh exciting! Time to see how many ways I can get myself killed in combat. I brought along Garrus and Liara for the lols.

This particular monastery was pitch-black and completely bereft of monks or nuns. This to me is a defining characteristic of what makes a monastery a monastery. Clearly evil doings are afoot. Flashing our flashlight about we discover the body of an Asari woman/man/person. I don't know why but seeing a dead Asari unsettles me more than any other race. It must be my love for Liara. "I'm such a romantic!" I thought as I rooted through the corpse's pockets for spare change.

Our destination was the Great Hall which conjured up images of plates full of food and flagons of pumpkin juice. I sincerely doubted this is what I would find. It turns out there is a bomb set up to blow up the entire facility and as we were soon to find out... for good reason.

Oh, another blast from the past! Dear old Samara has returned to try and help her two daughters, Fiona and Rita. Apparently, more Reaper naughtiness was occurring with Asari being taken-over and turned into Banshees. Not good.

It wasn't long before we met one of these abominations as one popped up in the next room. No. I don't like these. At all. They have about three shields to whittle down and teleport all over the shop like a demented Dhalsim. Cue overloads, disruptor ammo, kitchen sink... the lot. We eventually took it down but ugh, no thank you.

After this monstrosity, the cannibals that appeared were easy pickings. We cleared the room and were rewarded with a cut-scene between us, Samara and her youngest daughter, Fiona. Things started well and then deteriorated rather quickly. The conversation was something like this...

Shepard: "We are here to help you, fair maiden!"
Fiona: "How are you going to do that?"
Shepard: "We're gonna make sure this bomb goes off, destroying your home. We don't like the Banshees."

She was not impressed.

She jumps off the ledge and floats down to safety followed closely by Samara. We set off in hot pursuit but used conventional methods like doors and stuff. We were obviously impeded by more cretins on the way and another of those horrible Banshees. I mean, I feel a bit bad because they used to be Asari but I pelt these things with everything I've got. I hate them.

We eventually reach the Great Hall and yeah no food, no pumpkin juice, no Dumbledore... but at least there were no bloody Banshees. It was just Samara and her two daughters. Unfortunately, Rita was already on the turn into Reaper-zombie status so she was already a goner. We had one last round of cretins with two of the cock-a-doody Banshees. My dispatching of these two horrors was about as smooth as an Egyptian whiskey. I lost my shield lots. They were just plain mean.

Eventually though, the room was cleared and Rita does the honourable thing and decides to stay behind to detonate the bomb while the rest of us escape. Sounds good to me. You crack on, love. Her mother Samara was naturally in tears... and when I say tears I mean her expression didn't change one bit. Heartless.

We all escape in the elevator and Rita blows the building to sh*t killing all the Banshees at the same time. Awesome job, sister. Her actual sister is devastated but vows to keep on the work at the monastery. Garrus read some poetry in honour of the fallen Rita. This clearly didn't go down too well with Samara who promptly tried to shoot herself in the head. Luckily, my paragon interrupt saved the day... and her. We gained her as a war asset along with a load of other Asari forces. Sweet.

Tune in next time when Samara's Facebook game requests lead to her immediate removal as a war asset.