3 is pretty spot on. My shoulders are very wide, extremely wide. I need enough "soft" for the shoulder of the side I'm laying on to roll slightly forward, and "sink" just enough. However, it has to be firm enough that my hips don't sink to "low", which would kill my back overnight. I also, due to the weight of my arms/width of my shoulders, I have to support the opposing arm by "hugging something dense/firm.
This brings up a painful memory (as well as a story to share). After years of going through mattresses, my wife and I finally went "Temperpedic". My neck/back issues were part of it, but the major "player" was my weight vs hers. My average weight=240lbs, hers=100. On a normal mattress, she would roll across and end up "stuffed" against me. The Temperpedic we bought was perfect, but she was hinting that she wanted a new mattress (after ~5 years), and would pass ours into her sister (one of her useless, user, lazy, manipulating, sisters). Of course, I said "No". Several weeks later her sister showed up with their brother, a truck, and the "Gotcha" look on her face. I lost, the new mattress was delivered that day. My wife's mindset "a $10k Temperpedic must be better than a $6k.". As far as I'm concerned, bs. I'm still "comfy" though, just not as much. "Relax the Back" did throw in a couple of "fat" Temper" pillows, one of which I can't sleep without (hugging arm/shoulder support).
There is an "F" in parantheses, I'm thinking "smurf Mattress". A "smurf" mattress needs some "bounce" to it. With my size/weight (and all that implies), without that fluctuation, I'm going to do some serious damage.
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