Have you ever sent me an abusive Zac Efron postcard?

[Psychotic]

Over the years I have received a great many pieces of post from members of this website. I was just sorting through my old letters (I keep them!) and had a great nostalgic time reading lovely notes and cards from EoFFers, many of whom are long inactive.

However, one of them was unsigned.

caution, naughty language!
zacefron2.jpg

"I'D smurf you for a penny! Love Zac" says the title. The reverse says the following:

Dear Madam or Sir
This is a message of the utmost importance, it is dire that it is delivered to the correct person. Lord Psychotic of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:
I wish you (and ur loved 1's) abundant peace (and prosperity) I hope you enjoy your holidays with whom you wish and how you wish (to nail her)
Just filing up this blank space with cursing. smurf trout cock arse scrotum Note: I should point out they did not actually draw little BOUs and used the actual naughty word. Like, a lot!
Do you remember what's more fun than nailing a baby to the wall?
Sorry for not sending you a card last christmas! Let's say I forgot to do it

PS: Your mom says hi.

Clearly this is the product of a deranged mind, which is okay because it was intended for an equally deranged mind. However, a mystery lies in front of us, EoFF! Who was it? Was it you?! I assume this came in an envelope that gave the culprit away, but many long years have passed and alas I cannot recall who it was. I hope the mystery person comes forward, although in all probability they are inactive at EoFF now.

If it wasn't you, feel free to speculate as to who it was, and when we solve this mystery I guess you win bragging rights or a coloured custom title or something if you get it right.

[Pheesh]

Wish someone would send me something Zac Effron related. I have a brutal man-crush on that handsome bastard.

Anyway, the perp says enough times that you have to consider he might be Australian.

[Psychotic]

This is goddamn beautiful, and my hat is off to whoever sent this.

I suspected your husband but the handwriting doesn't match other things he has sent!

[Old Manus]

This looks like exactly the sort of correspondence that That Man Psychotic would send.

[SammieBabe]

No, but I really wish I would have.

[Psychotic]

No, but I really wish I would have.

I still have the strip club passes you sent me.

[SammieBabe]

No, but I really wish I would have.

I still have the strip club passes you sent me.

Get your ass over here and we'll use them.

[Psychotic]

I had a break in the case.

LEVIAN.jpg

Look, Scandinavian languages! Which paints the culprit as Levian but he has denied it was him. Why? Who is he trying to protect?

[Freya]

I think I remember when you got this. Just slightly. Maybe i'm going crazy.

[Levian]

I would never use words like abundant, dire or utmost.

I only know english words that has been used in the television show "Friends"

[Shauna]

how you doin'

[Psychotic]

Haha yeah, it has to be me. that's definitely my handwriting. I can't remember writing it though! That's gotta count for something if this should ever see the inside of a courtroom.

Ladies and gentlemen we have a case closed!

[Aerith's Knight]

It should've been me.

Although, I would never fill it up with curse words. Too pedestrian. I would make a small poem, or a haiku depending on space available, and fill it with a tribute to the small, shallow life that Paul has to live.

Forever.

[Levian]

I knew I should've signed it Raistlin again.

[Madame Adequate]

Honestly I would have said Rantzy N but Lev works as well

those scandiwags, always up to japery