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Thread: You're King

  1. #1
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    Default You're King

    You're chillaxing on your Iron Throne. It's not a very comfortable chair. You have to remind yourself not to lean back or else it will rip open your back and watch you bleed out. Your Queen is looking smexy as always and you still can't believe she's your wife. You're minding your own business when all of a sudden...

    THREE MOTHER SMURFING DRAGONS SMURFS YOU IN THE ASS!

    Okay, that just sounds gross. What I mean is, they're flying around burning your trout. People are screaming, being set on fire. Everything smells like bacon (mmm, bacon) it's a mess. They're accompanied by a bunch of unsullied marching along poking things with spears and dothraki burning down homes and butchering people.

    Your city is being wrecked by some white haired, purple eyed, daughter of a bastard (I don't mean the definition Westeros uses), what da smurf do you do?

    Discuss.

  2. #2
    ⎛⎝ High King ⎠⎞‏ Lone Wolf Leonhart's Avatar
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    I cry in disappointment that it's not Viserys instead of Dany.

  3. #3
    That's me! blackmage_nuke's Avatar
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    Mud up my face, peasant down my clothing and pretend to be one of the common folk and try to get to The Citadel and become a maester. If they don't accept ex-kings or I'm captured on the way then offer to go to The Wall and hopefully become a steward.

    Though honestly even if I wasnt being attacked by dragon's I'd try to establish a democratic government and when someone else was elected (Or people were so opposed to democracy that I was driven off the throne) I'd head for The Citadel anyway
    Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
    Have a nice day!!

  4. #4
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart View Post
    I cry in disappointment that it's not Viserys instead of Dany.
    Dany tells you he was no true dragon and feeds you to Drogon.

    Quote Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke View Post
    Mud up my face, peasant down my clothing and pretend to be one of the common folk and try to get to The Citadel and become a maester.
    You get set on fire in the collateral.

    I'd stay and fight because I'm stubborn like that. The City's Watch would likely be the closest to do anything about the ground troops (assuming they aren't set on fire yet) and would be deployed to save who they could of the smallfolk and distract the army long enough for the bulk of my main forces to join in pushing them back. If it's possible to divide the unsullied and corner them in the alleys that'd be great for picking them off. The main problem then would be dealing with the dothraki.

    I'd have archers on the rooftops to deal with the dragons, and if they couldn't kill them then just aim for the woman riding them. How'd I do?

    The gold cloaks were killed
    The unsullied stayed a single unit and picked off your men
    The dragons burnt the archers
    Drogon broke into the Great Hall and set you on fire


    AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *flips off Dany as he burns* Smurf you, Dany!


  5. #5
    ⎛⎝ High King ⎠⎞‏ Lone Wolf Leonhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ayen View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart View Post
    I cry in disappointment that it's not Viserys instead of Dany.
    Dany tells you he was no true dragon and feeds you to Drogon.
    That's fair.

    RIP King Leonhart first of his name served ??? To ???

  6. #6

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    I willingly abdicate, hand over my city and ask to become her male concubine.

  7. #7
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Loony Bob (Sargatanas)

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    I send her a message asking her to stop indiscriminately murdering my people before actually attempting a diplomatic approach. Goodness me. The people will fear her rather than respect her at this rate. I also send a message to Tyrion asking what gives because, well, let's face it, he's likely to agree with my suggested course of action.

    There need not be death.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  8. #8
    Yes homo Mr. Carnelian's Avatar
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    Declare absolute surrender, and flee.

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