The party returns to Cocoon and beats the living ever crap out of Orphan and Dysley cause they decided that if they were going to be screwed, its only fair everyone shares their fate. Cocoon powerless begins to crash down on Pulse with Lightning riding it like the cowboy from Dr. Strangelove. While this is going on Sahz and Snow murder Hope and Vanille cause they felt dying in the coming apocalypse was too good for either of them. This of course pisses off Fang and the three of them have an epic battle that makes the stuff from Advent Children look tasteful.
Sensing the upcoming Armageddon, the Chocobos watched in fear as Cocoon came crashing down on Chocogard which had abused the power of Kupo Nuts and was slowly killing off the planet from the nourishment needed for the Moogles, this is important cause the moogles are responsible for the time space continuum and thy were busy on the moon battling an evil witch moogle from the future who was trying to make the time/;space continuum all for her kupo-self. This of course got interrupted by the Moombas who lived on Pulse's second moon and were recycling all the life energy from the planet with there own cause they destroyed their previous world by creating their own version of Superslick that accidentally caused a singularity and wiped out their parallel universe.
As Cocoon crashes, Sahz reveals that the Fal'Cie are actually the souls of the dead Tonberries who created a Dream Cocoon and that is where he and Sahz were from. Originally, they intended Sahz to become Ragnarok so he could ravage the world for a thousand years until Dahj with a rag tag group of advenutures including a stupid idiot for a summoner could destroy him by playing his favorte song in the world "Smack my Bitch Up" which was his wedding song with his belated wife. Snow recounts when he was traveling on Pulse as a chocobo and was an evil Dark Hero til he came upon the shrine that held his Cactuar father and he became a Monkadin. He then had to choose becoming a beach bum or a hero who would collect the crystals and restore reality, obviously he chose beach bum for the bitchin facial hair.
Fang reveals that she was killed and sent into the future to become mini-raganrok by the four fiends (Moogle, Chocobo, Cactaur, and Moomba) and eventually she would transform into her ultimate form of the Tonberry to plunge the world into an eternal time loop unitl a group of four Imps in Onion Gear would come and slay her. Lightning interupts this whole fest to reveal she's actually not really a member of the military but actually a young boy whose village was destroyed and was maimed by the evil time witch moogle, she was injected with the genes of the Chocobo and became a a chick whose mind and memories have been screwed with by the evil powers that be, she lost her memeory and convinced herself that she was actually a SOL...soldier and once the Chocobos are wiped out, magic and her half chocobo self would fade into memory now that the Chocogard was going to be destroyed.
After this two hour finale, Boko of the Chocobos appears and cast Choco-Meteor with the power of the eight crystals plus one, and blows Cocoon out of the sky and wipes out humanity. Flash forward a thousand years into the future we begin where Chocobo Dungeon begins...
That's right, XIII is a prequel to Chocobo Mystery Dungeon, we've already played Final Fantasy XV and XVI!
Give These Games Goofy/Awesome Alternate Endings
Originally Posted by Wolf Kanno
The party returns to Cocoon and beats the living ever crap out of Orphan and Dysley cause they decided that if they were going to be screwed, its only fair everyone shares their fate. Cocoon powerless begins to crash down on Pulse with Lightning riding it like the cowboy from Dr. Strangelove. While this is going on Sahz and Snow murder Hope and Vanille cause they felt dying in the coming apocalypse was too good for either of them. This of course pisses off Fang and the three of them have an epic battle that makes the stuff from Advent Children look tasteful.
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