I take up a Phoenix Wright pose, pointing at the supposed vampire, and loudly proclaim "Vampires do not exist!"
Invite him in for some tea
Just stand there and stare because he can't come in unless I say so anyway
Ask if he's accepted the Lord as his saviour
Beg to be turned in to a vampire. You've heard they have a good night social life
Poke him with a stick
Kill him with the stake I conveniently had next to the door
Take a picture and post it to social media
Go back to bed
Hug him
I take up a Phoenix Wright pose, pointing at the supposed vampire, and loudly proclaim "Vampires do not exist!"