View Poll Results: A vampire is at your door, wat do?

Voters
20. You may not vote on this poll
  • Invite him in for some tea

    3 15.00%
  • Just stand there and stare because he can't come in unless I say so anyway

    5 25.00%
  • Ask if he's accepted the Lord as his saviour

    2 10.00%
  • Beg to be turned in to a vampire. You've heard they have a good night social life

    4 20.00%
  • Poke him with a stick

    2 10.00%
  • Kill him with the stake I conveniently had next to the door

    2 10.00%
  • Take a picture and post it to social media

    1 5.00%
  • Go back to bed

    6 30.00%
  • Hug him

    4 20.00%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 31 to 43 of 43

Thread: A vampire is at your door...

  1. #31
    Defamation Depression Moon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Armstrong-Parker
    Posts
    5,790
    Articles
    45
    Blog Entries
    2
    Contributions
    • Former Editor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf Kanno View Post
    Vampire: Good Evening!

    : What do you want?

    Vampire: I want to come in!

    : Did you bring a pizza?

    Vampire: No...

    : Did you bring your 3DS so we can game?

    Vampire: Um... no...

    :Then what are you good for?

    Vampire: I can make you immortal!

    :Will I have to talk to people ever again?

    Vampire: Well you may have to go door to door like I am to find a willing victim. Monster Union won't let us attack helpless strangers anymore...

    :So you're a Jehovah's Witness now?

    Vampire: No! Of course, not! I simply want to drink your blood and send you into an eternal life of darkness and despair!

    :And the difference from a Jehovah's Witness is?

    Vampire: Hmm... Never thought about that.

    Jehovah'sWitness: Sir, may I come in so I can talk to you about the one true lord and savior?

    : Did you bring your 3DS so we could game?

    JW: No.

    Vampire: Well did you at least bring a pizza with you?

    JW: Um... No...

    *shuts door*

    JW: Would you like to hear about the one true gospel?

    Vampire: Maybe we can work out a little deal...

    10 minutes after I read this, a Jehova's Witness knocked on my door.

  2. #32
    Resident Critic Ayen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Kansas City, Kansas
    Posts
    13,160
    Articles
    12
    Blog Entries
    76

    Default

    Did you ask if they had a 3DS so you could game?

  3. #33
    Defamation Depression Moon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Armstrong-Parker
    Posts
    5,790
    Articles
    45
    Blog Entries
    2
    Contributions
    • Former Editor

    Default

    Nah, that would be weird.

  4. #34
    That's me! blackmage_nuke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Yes
    Posts
    8,501
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ayen View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Adequate View Post
    Ask what the price is for being made into a vampire.
    Living forever and slowly losing your mind while everything you know falls and is replaced and you're all that's left when the world ends, I'd imagine.
    You'll have the other vampires to hang out with at least. And theoretically you should be immune to any actual physical deformities of the brain like dementia so any losing of the mind is dependant on one's own mental fortitude. The only downside I see is the difficulty in obtaining enough human blood to survive without being exposed
    Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
    Have a nice day!!

  5. #35
    Yes homo Mr. Carnelian's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Winchester, England
    Posts
    2,003

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke View Post
    The only downside I see is the difficulty in obtaining enough human blood to survive without being exposed
    Plus there's always the the old "having to kill people by draining their blood in order to stay alive" thing. Unless you're planning to subsist on stealing from blood banks, which would still end up resulting in someone's death at some point down the line.
    Last edited by Mr. Carnelian; 06-30-2016 at 12:41 PM.

  6. #36
    Radical Dreamer Cid's Knight Fynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Zenithia
    Posts
    16,655
    Articles
    56
    Blog Entries
    16

    FFXIV Character

    A'nutoh Tia (Sargatanas)

    Default

    Has anybody here seen Only Lovers Left Alive? Where to get the blood from is kind of a central thing there.

    Amazing movie, by the way. I highly recommend it.

  7. #37
    That's me! blackmage_nuke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Yes
    Posts
    8,501
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke View Post
    The only downside I see is the difficulty in obtaining enough human blood to survive without being exposed
    Plus there's always the the old "having to kill people by draining their blood in order to stay alive" thing. Unless you're planning to subsist on stealing from blood banks, which would still end up resulting in someone's death at some point down the line.
    Well I was thinking just drain enough to survive or drain small amounts from multiple humans, no need to kill anyone. What would be great is if I could find a permanent blood donor and in exchange for 20 years worth of blood I would turn them into a vampire and hopefully if vampirism becomes widespread enough it would be the new societal norm like becoming an adult when you turn 18, you pay your blood dues and become a vampire when you turn 25 (if you choose)

    Also apparantly blood can only be stored for 6 weeks so if possible, and if it doesnt have any adverse effects from drinking I'd try find where theyre dumping unused blood and take that
    Last edited by blackmage_nuke; 07-01-2016 at 02:37 AM.
    Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
    Have a nice day!!

  8. #38
    FREE MUSTARD DRIZZLE CimminyCricket's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    4,764

    FFXIV Character

    Caedus Ulvein (Sargatanas)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Has anybody here seen Only Lovers Left Alive? Where to get the blood from is kind of a central thing there.

    Amazing movie, by the way. I highly recommend it.
    I've never heard of it before now, so I'm going to have to look into it. I looked it up on Wikipedia and it sounds amazing.

  9. #39
    Yes homo Mr. Carnelian's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Winchester, England
    Posts
    2,003

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke View Post
    Well I was thinking just drain enough to survive or drain small amounts from multiple humans, no need to kill anyone. What would be great is if I could find a permanent blood donor and in exchange for 20 years worth of blood I would turn them into a vampire and hopefully if vampirism becomes widespread enough it would be the new societal norm like becoming an adult when you turn 18, you pay your blood dues and become a vampire when you turn 25 (if you choose)
    For why vampirism as the norm would be a terrible idea, see the film 'Daybreakers'. There wouldn't be enough blood to go around. Also, the more people you drain blood from, the more likely you are to get caught. Every drainee you leave alive is another person who knows what you look like and can report you to the authorities.

    Anywho, between Jehovah's Witnesses and vampires at my door, I've got to say I'd rather have a Jehovah's Witness. In my experience they can actually be really good for a chat, they leave if you say you're not interested, and they don't try to kill you and/or suck your blood. In fact, I'm fairly sure they'd turn down your blood even if you offered it and they needed it (no blood transfusions IS one of their things, right?). Oooo, imagine what a hard time a Jehovah's Witness would have if they were turned into a vampire!

  10. #40
    Radical Dreamer Cid's Knight Fynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Zenithia
    Posts
    16,655
    Articles
    56
    Blog Entries
    16

    FFXIV Character

    A'nutoh Tia (Sargatanas)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian View Post
    Anywho, between Jehovah's Witnesses and vampires at my door, I've got to say I'd rather have a Jehovah's Witness. In my experience they can actually be really good for a chat, they leave if you say you're not interested, and they don't try to kill you and/or suck your blood.
    Wow. Don't know if you've been lucky with your JWs or if I've been incredibly unlucky with mine.

  11. #41
    Yes homo Mr. Carnelian's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Winchester, England
    Posts
    2,003

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian View Post
    Anywho, between Jehovah's Witnesses and vampires at my door, I've got to say I'd rather have a Jehovah's Witness. In my experience they can actually be really good for a chat, they leave if you say you're not interested, and they don't try to kill you and/or suck your blood.
    Wow. Don't know if you've been lucky with your JWs or if I've been incredibly unlucky with mine.
    Jehovah's Witnesses have tried to kill you? Are you sure it wasn't actually a vampire at your door?

  12. #42

  13. #43
    by default. Chris's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Runway
    Posts
    11,135
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default

    Give him my "rare" steaks.

    Also, this is post 11,111






Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •