Let's get exploring!

So the release of Uncharted 4: A Thief's End has inspired me to give this game another attempt. I played it over five years ago and I stopped playing because - and feel free to laugh - the zombie monsters. The smurfing zombie monsters. I'm not a fan of zombie monsters. I'm not a fan of horror in general. And then those smurfing weird creatures with the possible insta-kill move show and I nope out of the game.

But not this time! Mercifully I've forgotten most of the plot and all of the controls, and to hell or high water I will actually complete this game and move on to the second game, which will definitely not have creepy things whatsoever. Nope, none.

I purchased the Nathan Drake Collection for relatively cheap yesterday, and wouldn't you know it, Mr. Carny beat the entire game in a day. I can't promise such rapid times, primarily because I am bad at shooters, cautious in combat and fastidious in collecting. But let's get cracking! Thanks to the PS4, it can take screenshots for me. Which is neat, because pictures are great. There's also a Photo Mode option for this remaster, which might be handy.

I'll be commenting on story, so if you haven't played the game, consider this your warning (well, I suppose you've been spoiled on zombie monsters), and before you ask, I'm playing on Easy. Because of course I am.


Chapter I
Ambushed

So we start in some picturesque unnamed ocean. Actually, not just yet. First we have an artsy, deep message from Sir Francis Drake which basically translates to: finish what you started. Such wisdom, Sir Drake!


Before I move on, can I just comment on how good looking Nathan Drake is? There's a variety of unlockable skins. Shirtless Drake isn't a thing, unfortunately. He's one sexy explorer/archaeologist. Honestly, in the world of gaming and fiction, they might as well be the same thing.

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Has an attractive underwear modelling career lined up if this exploring gig doesn't work out


Talking about shady archaeological practice, we're only seconds in and we're already defiling old, sacred relics and coffins. Drake attempts to cover and say it was an empty coffin, but he couldn't have possibly have known that before opening. So yeah, you might as well beat up ethical practice itself, Drake.


Drake is joined by Elena, who I am guessing is the female lead (read: main love interest) of this story. She's a journalist. A really dedicated journalist, as we'll soon discover. Upon opening the coffin, Drake apparently finds what he was looking for: no, not a skeleton, but a diary! Sir Francis Drake's diary! What a find.

Now let's go read it like we're reading some teenage girl's diary and giggle about how he totally fancies Chad over Thomas.

Shock horror! Drake and Elena's gossipy spying time is interrupted by, you guessed it:


Fortunately, Drake has exactly two pistols, and there's two people on board. Well that works out nicely. Especially given the fact that Elena apparently knows how to handle Drake's tool with ease. Wasn't she meant to just be a humble journalist?


And so we enter combat for the first time, and demonstrate immediately how bad I am at shooters by getting Drake's health into off-grey (there's no life bars in these games), in the tutorial section, on easy. I'm also supremely inept at doing brutal combos. I know you're meant to pause slightly before pressing triangle, but the guy I'm beating up just punches me back. Ugh. I might just avoid all hand-to-hand completely.

I also kept confusing the 'take cover' button for 'jump/climb' button, which was the opposite of the intended effect. I'm sure I'll get used to that.

Otherwise, combat was okay, but was obviously easier than I'll end up getting into. The best bit was the banter between Drake and Elena.


They then bring in a rocket launcher, just to up the stakes. They look like instant-kill weapons to me, which immediately raises alarm bells. Mercifully, I only had to avoid that for a few moments, before the cavalry arrives to rescue us.

In this case, the cavalry is represented by a friendly if somewhat creepy man called Sullivan.

The trio decamp to a lovely, pirate-free island. Nate tells Sully the good news. Basically, Sir Francis found El Dorado and swore his crew to silence, which gets Sullivan all aquiver.

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Sully's cigar is still permanently glued to his face, apparently

Meanwhile, Elena's outside on the phone. My first-ish impressions of her are pretty good, I have to admit. She seems like a strong character, not someone prone to be a damsel in distress type figure.


In the end, Nate and Sully ditch Elena to wander the jungle for El Dorado, which is only barely surprising, leaving her alone on the docks. No doubt she'll reappear.

And that's the end of the first chapter! A lot of cutscenes. But a good start to the game. Join me next time while we find El Dorado! Yup. Chapter Two. We're gonna find it now, I can feel it!