REVELATIONS: Surf's Up! - Summer Ciddies '16

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

The Nominees
Bubba Chris Pant Leg Eater From The Bad World Steve Vasher

[Shauna]

????????????

[Night Fury]

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

Body Health's Christmas Fitness DVDs Review by Twinged McCalfe

So after stuffing your fat faces at Christmas, it's time to pull on your stretchy joggers and start fighting that flab! Because we at Body Health are so good to you, we've given you a run-down of the five best DVDs promising you the beach body you've always wanted in time for Summer. Here are the contenders...

Bubba's Body Blast!
An unusual take on the fitness genre, Bubba concentrates on high-intensity interval training that... isn't particularly high intensity. Abandoning the usual "3 min workout, 30 sec rest" formula, Bubba flips this on its head. You exercise for 30 seconds then Bubba spends 3 mins serenading you with pleasant but predictable indie/folk rock. Despite having musical talent blessed by the gods, the workout leaves a lot to be desired. Verdict: Would not recommend

Curl with Chris!
Despite the disgustingly suggestive title, this at least does contain more minutes of exercise than the previous DVD. Unfortunately, there isn't a great deal of variation. It is basically 60 minutes of Chris doing extremely slow bicep curls whilst looking seductively at the camera. The exercises don't get a lot of screen time due to the camera being constantly zoomed in on Chris' handsome face. Verdict: Would not recommend.

Pleffy's Assault Course of Death
This guy is insane. He introduces himself as Pant Leg Eater From The Bad World and then claims this is the best home fitness routine ever created. He then embarks on an "easily recreated at home" assault course. He begins by running across rooftops whilst taking heavy fire from a mini-gun attached to a nearby helicopter. Next comes a two-mile swim in a lake of nuclear waste containing 300 alligators and 200 explosive devices. Finally, there is a one mile bare-footed dash down a road covered in broken glass and drawing pins whilst having live hand grenades thrown at him by midgets. Verdict: Would not recommend.

Steve's Salsa Seduction
Steve is clearly to Salsa, what Jon Goodman is to Olympic swimming. He does not know how to Salsa dance. At all. In fact, the entire DVD is just an hour of him dancing up to random women in nightclubs and demonstrating numerous ways in which someone can have their advances rejected. This shocking film closes with a shot of Steve sat on a bus at 3am dribbling and looking like he may have soiled himself. Verdict: Would not recommend.

Vasher's Vacation Video
This guy is buff as all hell. We were looking forward to finally seeing a workout that will produce dramatic results! As it turns out, This was just a video of some guy on holiday with his wife and kids. Exercises included Vasher jumping over a wall with no top on, Vasher fishing with no top on, Vasher smiling with no top on and many more topless moments. Whilst nice to look at, we didn't get up much of a sweat. Unless you count the part where Vasher was down to his underwear... with no top on. Verdict: Would not recommend.

After watching what passes for fitness DVD's these days, we advise you not to bother. Have an extra portion of chips, order the large pizza, get double scoop ice cream... these guys have really proved that exercise is overrated.

[Night Fury]

EXCELLENT SPEECH



I WILL GET TO EXERCISE IN A MINUTE

[Shauna]

Good speech Bubba!

[Night Fury]

WHERES THE WINNER THO

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

Steve.................................................1
Chris..................................................6
Pant Leg Eater From the Bad World ..................6
Vasher...............................................6

And the winner is...

BUBBA! with 7 points!

[Formalhaut]

I'm enjoying the lovely original MLT images, Award Dude! Amazing Speech; good luck to everyone!

EDIT: Smurf, that was a close one.

Are we calling a Bubba sweep now?

[Night Fury]

CONGRATS BUBBA!

[Shauna]

Congrats to Bubba! :3

[Formalhaut]

RSL wasn't nominated!?!?

[Night Fury]

Are we calling a Bubba sweep now?

I ALREADY DID

[Bubba]

Here comes the sweep...

[Shauna]