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OH trout THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP HERE I GO
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Just finished episode 2 and I completely agree with your assessment. (SPOILER)I also think that, if the technology is ever possible both from a tech point and a legal/ethical one, the inventor would make billions. People would eat that trout right up!
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Episode 1
-Haha, oh man, the multiple kisses
-This guy is going to put The Mother's head in a freezer, isn't he?
-Obviously the botched update is going to send people into the tech FOR REAL or like, Vanilla Sky it or some trout
-Other possible twist: The Mother is an alien and is recruiting him
-This dude is being a monstrous smurf because people are boo hoo mean to him, either gonna find out the computer characters are alive, or he really is some serial murderer like my first guess was
-But seriously, this guy is just a smurfing incel
-CHUCK A HAM SANDWICH ACROSS THE ROOM AND HE'LL smurf IT BEFORE IT HITS THE GROUND--goddan, I smurfing love Tracy
-RUBBER GLOVES TO STEAL HER DNA SO HE CAN OBVIOUSLY RAPE HER AVATAR IN GAME THIS DUDE IS A CREEP
-Jesus smurfing Christ wow, so in the Black Mirror timeline, this is clearly supposed to be set before White Christmas, as this is the sort of technology that's later used to put the slaves in those little tech things in their houses
-Goddamn, they really started this season off with a bang. This episode is so juicy and depressing. Also, I love Star Trek, so this is great.
-NOOOO SHE TOLD HIM NOOOO
-I'm so relieved they don't have genitals, though. I mean, it's a disgusting theft of agency, but I was really scared this was going to turn into a rape episode, and I'm glad it didn't
-Jimmi Simpson is a woefully under-appreciated actor
-God this episode is so tense, dude
-JFC JFC JFC
-Her head still might end up in that freezer...or I guess mini-fridge in this case
-SHE PULLED IT OFF
-OH GOD I HOPE SHE GETS AWAY
-Man, seeing sadboi incels lose make me so happy
-I've never wanted a group of people to die so badly
-I love that it subverted itself and ended up because an actual sci-fi good guy crew vs. bad guy episode, that's so smurfing clever
-GODDAMN WALTON SUCH A HERO!!!
-Also what I love about this--the episode starts off making you think Robert is some super nice guy who just get picked on, but as you get to know these characters and you learn what a monster he is, you just see that all of these people are smurfing great. Or rather, they're just people. Walton might be a lady-killer asshat, but he's also willing to burn in a continued state (granted, for only moments), to give his friends a chance at freedom. All of them were willing to risk their safety for each other for the chance of freedom--and especially in Walton's case, this was a huge sacrifice, because he might have to watch his son tortured over and over. They really put their trust in one another.
-Omg, I'm tearing up. This might be my favorite Black Mirror ever, and I'm so glad that they gave the start of the season a happy ending. I criticized San Junipero for being too light, but I'm glad to see these characters I came to admire make it free. And I'm REALLY glad to see Robert trapped alone, like the sorry sad sack he is.
-Omg, that ending. A true MMO.
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Episode 3, and this one is just for Jinx when she sees itsmurf YOU SAM GUINEA PIGS ARE KINGS. I actually called the pig being the key to all of it too!
Also god damn do I ever want those pizza robot things to be real.
Why was it called Crocodile though? I didn't get it.
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Ghost of Christmas' past
Contributions
- Former Cid's Knight
- Former Senior Site Staff
Episode 2I can see a lot of people using it too. When I consider things of that nature I tend to look at the situation from the perspective of the person its being used on instead of the one using it, so in this case the child, not the parent. My immediate reaction to it was a strong negative, much like how I view current time parents who use leashes on kids. I absolutely hated it as a child and I would be against an arkangel as well. When they showed the censor my immediate thought was sheltering a child so much would affect their development, which it did. I could consider seeing through someone's eyes and a location tracker a good thing for a child, but the older you get the more horrible it becomes. My first thought on the eyes was that when someone becomes a teenager that's a lot of potential for trouble and abuse. I was glad to see the show montague'd age, and that's exactly what happened. My thoughts on the location tracker were more aligned with civil liberties. I thought if a parent could track someone with the device, it could just as easily be tracked by the agency or government, but the show didn't develop that way. I love how it tied into the open-ended final scene, though. The very nature of it was perfectly aligned with the reasons for using the arkangel in the first place. The 15-year old gear runs off and hitches a ride with a trucker, which I find that at least here most people are very suspicious of. Is she safe with the driver? Will she be kidnapped or abused, wishing the tablet could still track her location. It was interesting. I think a compromise I could make is using the device until the child turns 13, then placing it in their hands. They can make the choice to censor things at that point or not, but its still available in case of emergency. It would require restraint on the parent's part, but that's something I like to think I could do.
Bork Bork
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Epsidoe 2
-Is that Miranda Otto?
-Oh man, talking about moving bladders and trout, like...asldhfwouoeuowufowuf
-Not Miranda Otto, but the artist chick Don Draper dates in season 1 who later becomes a heroin addict
-Ugh, what is this music? Clearly it's meant to be unsettling, but bleh, I just don't care for it. xD
-Interesting, I was expecting her to find the kid right away, not for her to actually be missing.
-IT'S NOT SARA, IT'S A CHANGELING
-She's apologizing to Sara, like she apologized to the nurse...I'm seeing a theme, and I'm curious what its importance is
-I think the theme of this episode is going to be about how society judges parents OR how parents today are so willing to put their kids lives online before they're able to consent, basically giving control to strangers OR just helicopter parenting in general. Maybe all three.
-Also this episode is clearly also set before White Christmas in the Black Mirror timeline, as the blurring out stressors is a precursor to human blocks later
-The grandfather having a heart attack is interesting, because it shows ways in which this sort of technology might be useful and good. I think it's important to add the positive of technology to a narrative that's in general, very demonizing of it--or at the very least, how we choose to use it.
-Interesting, a time skip
-I think this might also be commenting on how our society approaches trigger warnings, and that we're more inclined these days to hide the things that upset us, rather than approaching them and growing from them. Which is especially damaging to a child, who never has a chance to grow and adapt.
-I'm picking up so much from this episode that's probably not even there, but it's making me think, my dudes xD
-This mother is making me super mad. I'm sure all of us had our parents snoop when we were kids, and it smurfing sucked and hurt every time. This isn't even breaking her child's privacy, but taking it away before it even exists. Agency has been a big theme so far this season.
-Also, I think this show is great at introducing technology we don't have, but either have the foundation for or COULD have in the future. I'm glad they said the tech was banned, I'm glad that even in this fictional world, these people realize how ridiculous this is.
-Okay, so now she's in her late teens. But the tech is still in her...so what happens now?
-The Breakfast Club is vintage, what ;-;
-Huh, there's about 25 minutes left, and the plot is just now starting
-Clearly she's going to reboot the tech and see her daughter losing her virginity...literally every young person's nightmare
-BOOM THERE IT IS, CALLED IT
-I'm pretty mad, though...like, I get the mom was just worried, but it's such a blatant disregard for her as a human being. And the worst part is that her daughter has built this trust in her and can't even know she's spying on her. This episode is just getting me, because it reminds me so much of my own teenager years.
-Also, can I say this season is already feeling much more like Black Mirror, and is so much better than last season. I'm loving the return to form.
-ALSO ALL TEENAGERS HAVE SEX AND LIE TO YOU ABOUT IT, IT DOESN'T MEAN SHE ISN'T ACTUALLY WORTHY OF YOUR TRUST OR DOESN'T LOVE YOU, YOU UTTER, UTTER HAG
-SARA GIRL NO UGH DON'T ASK TO SEE THE COCAINE
-Okay, like, I can't even fault her here. A lot of teenagers experiment with drugs--it doesn't mean they are druggies or anything. I smoked a lot of weed, but only what other people smoked me up with. Am I saying doing cocaine is good? Of course not, just that I don't think she's a bad person, and she certainly doesn't deserve to have her privacy forfeited for doing so.
-LADY YOU ARE MAKING YOUR OWN DAMN SELF CRAZY, YOU DON'T GET TO BE UPSET, I'M SURE YOU GOT INTO SOME trout WHEN YOU WERE HER AGE TOO
-Frankly, I'm surprised that I'm identifying more with the teenager than the adult; that doesn't happen to me often in media these days. I guess it actually has been awhile since I was her age...but what's happening is just so goddamn unfair. Especially because they're shown to have a pretty close relationship, and her daughter has never really given her a reason to doubt her. And the missteps she's making is just a kid being a kid!
-OH GOD THE DOG IS GONE, I CAN'T DO THIS
-So basically the mother is just a sad sack more invested in her daughter's life because she doesn't have one
-Oh, she's gonna kill herself by jumping into traffic, isn't she?
-The saddest thing is that she doesn't even SUSPECT her mother
-OH trout SHE'S PREGNANT
-WAIT
-WHAT
-OH
-TROUT
-HER
-MOTHER
-DIDN'T
-JESUS
-CHRIST
-Goddamn, Black Mirror is doing so well at topping itself with the smurfed upedness this season.
-I'm not someone who believes abortion is murder, but aborting someone else's fetus without their consent is just..........no words. No smurfing words.
-Am I supposed to feel bad this bitch is dead?
-Like, I feel bad for the girl for having to go to such an extreme, but she had what was coming.
-Oh, she's not dead
-Here's where she watches Sara kill herself, I'm calling it
-Ah, no, her daughter just ran away and she can't find her. Again, am I supposed to care? I'm glad she got away from that harpy of a woman.
-Sara hitchhiking. The irony that her trying to keep her daughter safe is what lead her into the greatest danger.
-This was a very affecting episode. Very good.
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Sorry for my steam-of-consciousnesses replay. I find it fun, because you can see HOW WRONG I was from the beginning to the end. xD
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Episode 3
-I'm drinking wine and having a curry, and this is a lovely night.
-Smoking weed while driving on an icy, winding road, this will end well
-OH trout WHAT DID THEY HIT HOPEFULLY NOT A PERSON
-Oh, it's totally a person, smurf
-I'm already liking Mia. Granted, she didn't hit the person, but it just as easily could have been her; she's just as drunk and stoned as her boyfriend is. At least she wants to do the right thing?
-I DON'T CARE IF IT'S INSTANT PRISON, YOU KILLED A MAN
-What if he's not actually dead, though? Could just be knocked out and hurt. They didn't even check the pulse!
-Aye, it's a crocodile, eh, mate?
-SHE'S A PROPER MOTHER NOW WITH A LIFE, uh oh
-Is this in Iceland, btw?
-PUPPY
-Or, wait...is this Wales?
-Oh trout, it's the lead singer of The Cranberries. Hey, Dolores!
-Like, it's clearly not her, that's just my attempt at a joke.
-So now curly hair is trying to do the pussy version of the right thing. I feel bad for Mia, she's made a life for herself, and now he wants to smurf it all up.
-OH trout'S SHE'S GONNA KILL HIM
-GIRL THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER TO THIS PROBLEM
-ESPECIALLY SINCE HE SAID HE WASN'T EVEN GOING TO MENTION YOU
-goddamn that was a minor misstep, wasn't it?
-THE SONG THE SONG FINALLY MADE ITS APPEARANCE
-NO NOT A smurfING RODENT, POISON IT NOW
-Is this what you made your thing about Paul? Cos you know I hate rodents and guinea pigs? Because if Rob ever brought one of those things into my house, I'd flush it.
-WRAITH BABES
-She's clever, though, this one.
-Well, sort of. Taking a room service tray out into the parking lot would probably look very weird on camera. xD
-WAIT IS HE STILL ALIVE
-Nah, it was just a close in so we could get a mirror (heh) shot of her face. Why do I keep thinking everyone is alive?
-I mean, okay. I get why she's dumping him here. She can be seen here without raising suspicions, but MAYBE DON'T DUMP THE PERSON YOU JUST MURDERED AT YOUR PLACE OF WORK
-Oh wait, seems like he just got cooked. Nevermind.
-Haha that bitchy look, judging her for her porn choices
-Seriously, where the smurf is this being filmed. Where is this supposed to be set?
-I'm very attracted to this pizza van victim. He's a nerdy little trout in the way I like dudes.
-Oh shoot, this is how she sees the murder. This is actually kind of cool.
-I like how this story is going to puzzle together. This episode seems like it's going to be a bit more high-tech than episode 2. I like where it's going.
-Also, I find myself not hating Mia yet. Like, she's done some bad trout, but I don't think she's terrible herself.
-I think what I like about this is the juxtaposition of the tedious (inspecting insurance claims) with the fantastic (technology which lets you see someone else's memories). It sets the stage well for how technology becomes so mundane the longer its part of our lives.
-Oh man, how his memory of her coat changed from lime to yellow was so fascinating. Like, this is really cool. Especially how the mind tech itself looks very 1970s...I'm getting Willy Wonka/Mike Teevee vibes from it.
-AND THE STAGE IS SET
-Ah, the classic porn/murder misunderstanding!
-OH NO THE ZOOM ON THE KNIVES
-SHE'S GONNA KILL AGAIN, ISN'T SHE
-I hope not, I really like Shazia 
-BUT SERIOUSLY WHERE THE HECK ARE THEY, it's beautiful, though
-yikesyikesyikesyikes
-SHAZIA RUN SHE HAS KILLED BEFORE, SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN
-I am a bundle of nerves
-Oh god
-Oh god
-Oh thank god, she's in her car
-NO NO NO
-I am very upset, I take it all back, I don't like Mia
-Also, I noticed before she had a hard time getting her car to turn over, but I didn't think it would come into play here. GG.
-Oh god, this episode is upsetting the smurf out of me
-HAD TO DIP OUR TOES IN WITH EPISODE ONE AND TWO, THIS IS WHERE IT GETS REAL
-OH GOD NOW SHE'S GOING TO KILL THE HUSBAND AND SHAZIA'S DAUGHTER
-Here I was just thinking how heartbroken I'd be, how sick and worried if I expected Rob home and he didn't come home
-This episode is one of the more smurfed up Black Mirror eps, I think
-So, obviously the kid is going to come out after she kills the father, and that will be her true test--can she murder a child in cold blood?
-OH GOD, THE KID IS A BABY, LIKE THAT'S ACTUALLY SO MUCH WORSE
-OH GOD SHE KILLED THE BABY THEN...I was so hoping she just left him...
-OH GOD THE BABY WAS BLIND
-THE GUINEA PIG SAW IT ALL...wow, just, actually wow
-I'm so very happy that's how it ended. Mia smurfing deserves whatever she gets.
-But seriously, making the guinea pig the witness is brilliant, and I love that twist.
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Episode 4
-Making internet dating more awkward every day! Ah, the beauty of technology.
-WAIT IS THIS A DATING EPISODE
-I'm kind of excited for something (seemingly) more lighthearted after the last gutting episode
-By the way, I'm enjoy the episode blurbs. They give you just enough of a taste for things without giving anything away.
-So I'm trying to figure out if the time limit is on the life their relationship MIGHT have, or the amount of time they're "allowed" to be together.
-Ah, basically it's like the way you like Netflix and get more recommendations. That's how I thought it was, but it seemed framed sort of strangely.
-IT'S FOR EACH OTHER AGAIN, ISN'T IT?
-Oh, no, but they're going to wish it was them for each other
-OH GOD THIS NEW GIRL IS TERRIBLE
-Who is her actress? I recognize this person, but can't put my finger on it. Ughhhh.
- Oh, she's just some random. I was right she was Welsh, though. I wonder who I was thinking of, though, ugh!!!!
-UGH BUT REALLY, IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY
-I think I know who, she just reminds me of a different actress, case solved
-I think from a tech standpoint, this episode is kind of weird. Like, ultimately it's flawed--if you go into a relationship expecting and knowing the time limit on it, you're never going to open yourself up in a meaningful way. Therefore building your true match out of it is impossible. Which, is probably the point of the episode, I guess. That matters of the heart can't be decided by technology. I suppose this episode is about less what we do with technology, but about its limitations.
-HIS RELATIONSHIP ENDED ARE THEY NOW ABOUT TO DATE ONE ANOTHER AGAIN
-I like how they show the ways a relationship can suck and be lonely--living with someone you can't stand, having meaningless hookups with random people
-Oh hey, they literally just said the exact same thing I said
-do people use condoms in these smurf pavilions?
-Is that Ellie Goulding playing? If it isn't, she should sue
-FIVE YEARS, but not forever
-OH GOD, HIM LOOKING CHANGED THE DATE
-AND AGAIN
-But I'm curious about this thing. Do people agree to this? Is it a program, or forced? If 5 years is one of the time limits, how long does this go on for? Assuming the ultimate goal is stable marriages with children, that's a long time for the NOT one. This part doesn't make any sense.
-BUT DANG MATE, 5 YEARS TO 20 HOURS, YOU DONE smurfED UP
-It's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy though, isn't it? Him betraying her trust to look is what shortened the clock--not because it recalibrated, but because he broke her trust.
-Oh yeah, here they go, her saying this.
-This episode is reminding me a lot of The Entire History of You from season 1
-Oh, interesting, Amy was paired with a woman at one point. I guess children aren't the final goal.
-IT *IS* A SIMULATION, OH trout, FRANK'S JOKE WAS RIGHT
-haha, oh man, I called it
-Oh, haha, that's kind of a sweet ending isn't it? Definitely turns the online dating match system on its head. Very tongue-in-cheek. Not the most serious or best episode of Black Mirror, but I liked it. Was nice to have something more light after the last episode, Jesus.
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Episode 5
-I like they've gone back to more British roots after last season, which was more American
-UGH I HALFWAY FAST FORWARDED AND THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS IN BLACK AND WHITE GROSS
-Already calling this will be my least favorite episode of the seasons
-ugh so bored
-This episode is very caricature horror movie
-Okay, so this whole cast is about to e killed off within minutes.
-Oh hey, the lady lived
-Again, this episode is boring as trout...every season there's one episode that bores me to tears, and clearly this one is it
-Okay, this walkie-talkie scene is making me tear up, maybe this won't be too boring
-Tbh, if I was her, I'd probably taunt it too
-Oh, so THAT'S why Katniss used her belt to strap herself into the tree. I guess I'm a light sleeper and never understood how someone could fall out of a tree while sleeping, because it'd always sort of be there in your mind.
-WAIT IS THIS THE HOUSE OF THE PEOPLE FROM THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF YOU BECAUSE IT CERTAINLY LOOKS LIKE IT IS
-Also this lady is a bad ass, I'd be dead within minutes of stumbling upon one of these dudes
-Alright, she's inside, and I'm almost certain this is the same house used in The Entire History of You.
-YUP, IT ABSOLUTELY IS
-That, or they just have access to very similar modern art houses
-ugh, GROSS
-Okay, maybe this isn't the same house
-This lady is such a goddamn bad ass, though
-I thought I was going to hate this episode, but watching this woman of steel is making it enjoyable for me
-OH NO HERE COMES THE DOG, FORGET ABOUT THE GOOK ON YOUR HANDS AND RUN
-THESE ROBOTS HAVE GUN ARMS AND IT'S GOING TO USE A KNIFE WHAT
-the ol' paint over the robot's eyes trick
-NO NO SHE HAD IT NOOOOO
-Holy trout, she's going to rip into her own face, dude
-Or.....not?
-Oh trout, the one is like right on her jugular
-Oh, I see. All the dogs are coming to her, so even if she took them out, she'd be tracked.
-I think my biggest criticism of this episode is not know what's going on. Like, it's sad, and she's a force of will, but without context of the plot, it all feels really meaningless.
-OH. OH. IT WAS A TEDDY BEAR. And now I'm crying. smurf. Okay, I take it back. How smurfing beautiful.
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So, it's been about an hour, and I had to stop. I'm still thinking about Episode 5. I was sure I'd hate it. And it's SUCH a slow burn, but the pay-off. This episode will stick with me for awhile.
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Episode 6
-I know this dude, but I can't put my finger on it, ooooooooh yeah, he's in Catastrophe and other shows
-He's a time-traveler, calling it now
-ST. JUNIPER'S...SOUNDS A LOT LIKE SAN JUNIPERO...IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY MEAN THE SAME THING, HM?
-Okay, the doctor dude is also in Catastrophe, so clearly whoever cast this episode works/ed on that show, too
-hmmm, this is an interesting episode
-okay, the pepper analogy is spot-on, that's how I got to eat crazy hot food xD
-oh smurf, oh yikes, this episode is getting to be too much
-HE'S MISSING HIS TOES AND GOUGING OUT HIS TEETH
-okay, I'm super into this story, it's like crazy good so far
-WHEN THEY UPLOAD OLD PEOPLE TO THE CLOUD--and there's the concrete San Junipero reference
-BOY'S CALLED JACK, CRAZY ABOUT A STUFFED ANIMAL, JUST LIKE EPISODE 5
-That water cooler is very oddly placed; the set designer was very lazy
-This is meant to coincide with episode 1...and White Christmas. Transplanting consciousness is a recurring motif in this show.
-Dang, this guy is like the Angel of Death
-15 Million Merits Comic Book
-Oh man, being forced to eat anchovies is smurfing torture, what a terrible partner
-God, the cinematography of this show is so beautiful.
-so well, not so good
-I do like that Jack hates her, but at the same time, the thought of deleting her is impossible to him. A+ man, that Jack
-OKAY YOU TERRORIZED JACK, YOU CAN'T BE UPSET HE TOOK YOU OUT OF HIS HEAD
-THIS EPISODE IS SO GOOD THOUGH
-I just said to Rob, this episode feels like the graveyard of abandoned Black Mirror premises--basically, someone came up with a bunch of ideas, but none of them where hefty enough for a full story (or they were too repetitive), so they made this curio episode. It also reminds me a lot of White Christmas, which is basically three stories in one. I think that's why I'm digging it so much.
-FAKE NEWS
-Okay, so I mean, we all knew this guy was scum, but there it is, finally
-THAT'S HER DAD
-THE WATER WAS POISONED
-YOU GO, BABY GIRL
-LOVE YOU
-OH YEAH, HER ACCENT IS GOOOONE
-Dang, this episode is really deep, though. Sit down, shut up, y'all.
-There it is.
-UGH MAN, THIS EPISODE IS SO smurfING BRILLIANT.
-Seriously, this, uh. This might be Black Mirror's finest hour.
-YOU GO BABY GIRL
-Also, I love that she just got justice for countless people. We only heard about three, but there were surely more. Not just her dad. She just got justice for so many people. My hero.
-SHE TOOK THE MONKEY LADY WITH HER ;-;
-What a wild goddamn ride. Black Mirror has outdone itself here.
-WAIT THE MOM IS ALIVE IN HER HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Just. Wow. Hands down, best episode of Black Mirror.
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Episode 4I liked it, it foreshadowed its twist hardcore and didn't deviate from that, but it was still a pleasant ending. The concept is interesting, like maybe such technology wouldn't work in that exact involved way but intriguing ideas.
Episode 5Very bleak. Probably my least favourite episode. What the hell was that dog's problem? Piss off. 
Episode 6Oh god again all kinds of smurfed up. Black Mirror loves that uploaded consciousness concept to inflict a permanent and inescapable torment on people. Loved all the references to older episodes too, although all episodes in BM tend to do this!
How I'd rank the season:
- Episode 6
- Episode 1
- Episode 4
- Episode 2
- Episode 3
- Episode 5
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Psychotic Episode 5I told Rob that this is an episode I don't feel I need to watch again for a very, very long time. Every now and then I rewatch some of my favorites, and I'll probably only watch that one on a full rewatch. It's too smurfing bleak and heartbreaking. But I think what it did, it did really well. It annoyed me for awhile that we don't know why the world is this way, who these people are, who made the dogs. But we don't have to; that's not what this story is about. It's about perseverance and the way simple kindness is what gives life meaning. Three people are willing to risk their lives just to give a dying boy a small shred of comfort with a teddy bear. It's a goddamn slow burn, but that final shot is what retroactively makes the entire episode excellent.
But again--I don't want to rewatch it any time soon. It did its job.
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