Kill/Smurf/Marry

[fire_of_avalon]

I'm gonna Smurf Gilgamesh because then I get to be part of a legend. I'm gonna marry Edward because then I get to help run a desert kingdom. I'm gonna kill Reuben because he doesn't share his sandwich (and also I never played that game.)

Fighter, Monk, Red Mage.

[Colonel Angus]

Marry Red, Smurf Monk, Kill Fighter

Maechen, Oaka XXIII, The "Stay away from the summoner!" Lady

[Jinx]

Marry Oaka, got a business, is sweet, I like his accent.

smurf Old Lady, she's feisty.

Kill Maechen, good Yevon, he's dull.

Hojo, Palmer, Heidegger.

[Formalhaut]

Pffft all of them kill.

What? Not allowed. Okay.

Kill - Hojo
Smurf - Heidegger
Marry - Palmer

Hojo is just an evil scientist, so he cannot be trusted. Plus he's evil. Heidegger is a creep, but I guess I could just gag him during sex to avoid listening to his laughing. Palmer is unassuming enough to marry and take his money. But ugh. Yeah, all of them are bleh.

Right, Battle of the Ice Queens:

Celes (FFVI), Lightning (FFXIII) and Lulu (FFX)

[Sephiroth]

K - Lulu
M - Lightning
Instantly.
S - Celes
Would go to Lightning but if I really must choose between marrying and the other thing, then this.

Gestahl, Vayne, Iedolas.

[Wolf Kanno]

I'd do the dirty deed with Vayne because, well I don't think it's hard to imagine.

I would marry Gestalh so I could get my hands on all that sweet Magitek knowledge in our eventually messy divorce, he gets to keep Kefka but I'm definitely going to fight to keep Celes and Leo among the kids.

I would kill Iedolas because it's not like anyone would notice...

Umaro, Boko, and Red XIII

[Fynn]

Smurf Umaro, I guess, due to all that stamina.

Marry Red XIII because he feels kind of responsible enough, out of the three.

Kill Boko. Nothing personal. It's just the only option left.

Now: Vossler, Ignis, Y'shtola

[Bubba]

Smurf Vossler because he's a handsome bastard.

Kill Ignis because his voice irritated the crap out of me.

Marry Y'shtola because we can do it every day and she can whip me lots with that tail... every day.

Shiva, Ifrit & Doomtrain

[Yubel-Lover]

Smurf Vossler because he's a handsome bastard.

Kill Ignis because his voice irritated the crap out of me.

Marry Y'shtola because we can do it every day and she can whip me lots with that tail... every day.

Shiva, Ifrit & Doomtrain

Marry Doomtrain. I mean it's a train, I can make some money with it lol
Smurf Shiva. Do I need to explain why?
Kill Ifrit. Sorry man, too hot for my taste

Bahamut, Strago, Zemus

[Laddy]

Marry Zemus. Power, baby!
Smurf Bahamut. I'm a dragon smurfer.
Kill Strago. Oldies aren't my thing.

Tall and honorable furred people! Fran, Freya, Kimahri.

[Jinx]

smurf Kimahri, THOSE MUSCLES THO
Marry Freya, she's amazing
Kill Fran, meh, I don't get the appeal

Yuffie, Selphie, Rikku...annoying girls

[Sephiroth]

S - Yuffie. She is the only legal one because she is 18 in AC and 19 in DoC.
M - Rikku - but she should change her clothes. I don't like a bikini and scarf.
K - Selphie. Not that I want.

Mog VI, Mog IX, Mog XIII-2.

Oh yes, I did it.

[Formalhaut]

Assuming that they've all aged up enough to not make any of this weird:

Kill - Yuffie
Smurf - Selphie
Marry - Rikku

I actually like Yuffie, but even I know she's annoying and likely to steal from me, so with the lack of an 'avoid' option, she's dead. Selphie... well I haven't actually played FFVIII yet, but she seems nice? And Rikku I'd marry because she's friendly, fun, and a mechanical genius.

EDIT: Fine, I'll do double duty:

Kill - FFIX Mog
Smurf - FFVI Mog
Marry - FFXIII-2 Mog

Where do I even start? I don't know FFIX Mog, so they're dead. FFVI Mog seems fun, but I spent most time with FFXIII-2 Mog. He's nice, and if I ever start to be annoyed by him I could just tell him to turn into a table or something.

Right, next up, the roguish types!

Irvine (FFVIII), Balthier (FFXII) and Locke (FFVI)

[Jinx]

(OOC: Tbh, FFX Rikku has one of the best outfits in the series. Way better hair too. And isn't an idiot. FFX Rikku > FFX-2 Rikku in every way.)

[Shiva95]

Kill - Irvine
Smurf - Balthier
Marry - Locke

Noctis, Cloud, Tidus