View Poll Results: Why are they concerned?

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  • The sandwich contents could be spilled onto the floor

    1 25.00%
  • They would be sick and/or lose control of their bladder/bowels

    3 75.00%
  • Other (please specify)

    0 0%
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Thread: If someone made a state-of-the-art sandwich..

  1. #16
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    Why would this diarrhoea be explosive? Also, how can it possibly go through someone's digestive system, babyIMG_6989.JPG that quickly?

    Vomiting I can understand, but there is no way bowel movements would happen so quickly and violently to anyone so soon after consuming a sandwich.

  2. #17
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychotic View Post
    If the bread dissolves then so too must one's stomach lining and bowels
    Also, what the smurf kind of sense does this make? Are you insinuating that our stomach lining and bowels are made out of bread?

  3. #18
    Sh♥tposter Extraordinaire Jinx's Avatar
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    I take it to mean that the explosive diarrhea will happen as they pull their pants down, missing the toilet as explosive diarrhea is wont to do.
    mfw you post

  4. #19
    Yossarian Lives Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba View Post
    Why would this diarrhoea be explosive?
    To answer that we must look at what causes explosive diarrhea.
    If you experience explosive diarrhea, first ask yourself if your diet may be responsible. Any increase in fruit, vegetable, bran cereal or whole grain consumption is putting more indigestible fiber into your gut, which acts to soften stool and speed the transit of fecal matter through the intestines. Excessive fiber, or a drastic increase in fiber intake, can cause gas and diarrhea, including explosive diarrhea. Fruits, vegetables and whole grains also contain some poorly digested starches and sugars
    So you see, the sandwich which was, if you watch the scene, triple layered with cheap white bread and of course the assumed fruit content of the chutney itself will lead to poor digestion and increased gas.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba View Post
    Also, how can it possibly go through someone's digestive system, babyIMG_6989.JPG that quickly?
    This is no ordinary sandwich. Remember that Lister invented the sandwich after reading a book on biological warfare. Remember that this is akin to "bowel surgery". Remember that Rimmer instantly said "I feel like I'm having a baby".

    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba View Post
    Vomiting I can understand
    Instant vomiting eh

    Instant vomiting... on the floor

    Thus ruining the floor

    Thus being concerned about the state of the floor is a natural state of affairs

    Thus well well well you hamster cheeked scouse goit


  5. #20
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychotic View Post
    Remember that Lister invented the sandwich after reading a book on biological warfare.
    'Bacteriological' warfare but I see your point.

    We are forgetting the most important point in this debate: Rimmer is a hologram.

    Holly was able to materialise the offending sandwich into Rimmer's hand. If this materialised sandwich was dropped it would clearly make a mess. However, Rimmer being a hologram he is composed entirely of light. He would no longer perform any bodily waste expulsion.

  6. #21
    Yossarian Lives Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    But the sandwich is a hologram too, and so any mess would be a hologramatic mess. There is no real danger of mess to the floor either way, and so I just attribute it to Holly's computer senility.

  7. #22
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    Well, it looks like this debate can finally be put to rest.

    Rob Grant, co-creator and writer of Red Dwarf has read through what you reprobates have had to say and kindly responded to me on Twitter

    The words of the legendary Rob Grant...

    IMG_6995.JPG

    Well, there you have it. For Rob, it's both. The viewer decides how crude to make it!

    The writer of the original episode in question has spoken and the message is clear...Why not both?!
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by Bubba; 10-05-2017 at 08:24 AM.

  8. #23
    Yossarian Lives Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Delightful. All's well that smegs well.

  9. #24
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    Well, we could yet get a response from the other co-creator, Doug Naylor.

    If he gives a differing opinion then it could all be up in the air again...

  10. #25
    Yes homo Mr. Carnelian's Avatar
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    It's not as though the author gets the final word. Works are always open to interpretation or reinterpretation by their audience. The interpretation of the author/authors is not necessarily more valid just because they created the work.

  11. #26
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Carnelian View Post
    It's not as though the author gets the final word. Works are always open to interpretation or reinterpretation by their audience. The interpretation of the author/authors is not necessarily more valid just because they created the work.
    You shush... we need a resolution!
    Last edited by Bubba; 09-05-2017 at 05:09 PM.

  12. #27
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    i tried making this once and regretted it instantly

    forgetting while steaming drunk i hate chutney


    listen to the silence, let it ring on

  13. #28
    Put the bloody gubs in the crev. Free Edgar 2014 Steve's Avatar
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    Which fruit chutney do you use though, I can think of several!

  14. #29
    Taking care of business Cid's Knight Bubba's Avatar
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    I will message Doug Naylor again on Twitter to see if he can give us a response. He or Rob might even be able to confirm the type of chutney used, we'll see!

    EDIT: I've messaged him. I'll give it a few weeks and then I'm gonna do an Andy Dufrene and send him a message once a week for the next six years. He'll probably block me but we'll see
    Last edited by Bubba; 10-05-2017 at 08:18 AM.

  15. #30
    Yossarian Lives Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Isn't it mango?

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