Dear Journal, (Or whatever this is)My first post in this section and excuse me if I get a tad wordy.
I am today and continue to everyday be surprised by the varity of thoughts I have. During one class, for example, I had the overwhelming sense of how little I was. How much no one asked, nor even did they think, of what I had to say. Then in the next, I was incited by a disscusson on tolerence to a new idea. Though I see that the world needs to be changed, I now realize what it means to appreciate those dreams of the perfect world that I and everyone else, no doubt, have. I also now appreciate better the world that I live in, yes indeed, I do love it. Though some people have some fantastic dreams, I have very simple ones. Ones where love replaces all hate, and ones where I am not alone.
Loneliness, I can feel it mounting every day, like a force that is growing inside me and laying in wait for me to lower my defenses for a second so that it might destroy me. I wish I knew of some way to stop the loneliness, but it is based in truth, and as such, very difficult to stop. I keep thinking how alone I am..... certainly I have freinds and family, but I am alone, never the less. My family is constantly fearing the world outside, my freinds all moving in totaly oppisite directions as I, and all those others I see are all too engulfed in petty and small activities. This is what my loneliness says to my all the time. I hate the lonely feeling, but I hate even more pitty. Pitty is not real to me and if I allow the pitty of others to reach me then the loneliness will have won.
I shant allow that to happen......................
