Revelations back at Madain Sari... we learn that Princess Garnet's early years were spent right here! Interesting...

We head back to the Iifa Tree and.... smurf me with a rusty ragnarok... all hell breaks loose! Kuja is here telling how he helped manipulate Brahne into starting the war and then, as if it to prove the point, Brahne herself shows up with her entire army! Fisticuffs between the two are clearly imminent and our party is slap-bang in the middle. I think executing the Homer-Simpson-retreat-into-the-bushes technique would be a fantastic career move at this point.

Kuja and his luck dragon evade Brahne's cannons until she eventually calls on the big daddy of all summons - Bahamut! This backfires drastically as it turns out Bahamut and Kuja are old college buddies and used to get baked together behind the science block. Bahamut turns on Brahne and basically takes a huge dump over her and her entire army.

Brahne subsequently snuffs it on a beach and Garnet is promoted to Queen of Alexandria! Zidane doesn't take it too well and takes the Bubba approach to dealing with problems and gets plastered in a bar in Alexandria. There was a genuinely hilarious situation when Eiko writes Zidane a love letter which changes hands about six times. Zidane decides the best way to forget about Garnet is to go and play poker in another town so we all head back to Treno for card game shenanigans!