Effective immediately I am announceing my return from Retirement.

Unfortunately my plans were to want to become a famous international Assassin for Mr. President "Don" Trump. My first target was to be Paul "Psychotic" Paul but I just couldn't do it. Emotionally, mentally, or physically and also I could not find him. Here's what I learned:
  1. Tickets to Wales are very expensive. You do not fly over a poind. It's an ocean. I was not given very much money for this job.
  2. I posted to many forums asking if anyone in Scotland knew of this man (person??) but none had heard of him. I found this surprising. I gave a general description and also asked if anyone could kill him for me and no one would help. (Scottish people are VERY rude)
  3. I approximated his physical attributes using state health statistics data: http://www.ninis2.nisra.gov.uk/publi...es&yearfilter= and converted it to feet and inches. The conversion between metric and American is still approximate ven for our most advanced scientists and scientific equipment, but presumably 1cm is roughly 1 inch. Given that, I knew he was roughly 14'6" tall, which is very big, and intimidating. MMy research was non-conclusive as to whether this is common to all natives of the Isle of Man or if he is merely a giant who is terroristing the country side. Regardless I was very intimidated and had to tell President Mr. Trump "no, thank you" to which he said "YOU'RE FIRED!!!"
  4. My excellent knowledge of foreign nations, as well as in-depth research ability, has put me in top running for Secretary of State however.


So -- unfortunately I am back, but I'm sure you are as excited to see me post as I am to post. I will resume my normal duties, such as running the #eoff prom (be sure to get your dates soon!) and also posting essays with biting social commentary. And as always I'll sign off with my famous catch phrase, -

B A L L S ! ! !