Things I found scary back then: Losing people, the open ocean.

Things I find scary now: I mean, still the above, but I'm more so actually scared of what people will think of me if I tell them my honest feelings about pretty much anything serious. Will they think I'm a creep if I tell them I compliment them? Will they think I'm a burden if I tell them I need their help? Will they hate me for dredging up the past if I apologise for something that has weighed on my mind? Will they think I'm annoying for talking to them at all? Will they hate me if they know I intentionally stopped maintaining our friendship because I felt I was a hindrance? Will they think I have ulterior motives if I wish them happy birthday?

The mind works in stupid, awful ways and mine seems to only worsen in these regards over time.

I am very open about 95% of things and that five percent has slowly but surely, through the course of being burned on many occasions, had a more and more solidly defended wall set up around it.