Help Required

[Intel]

Hello to you all. I understand that this is my first post and that I may not be considered trustworthy yet, but I ask that you read my post. It would help me considerably.

I am writing to you under uncomfortable circumstances. I am looking to uncover the truth behind a mystery 14 years in the making, some details of which happened on this very forum.

In 2004, a young girl by the name of Rei Ling Wei/Tiffany Lowell died in a traffic accident while out with friends. The death shook the her online friends quite badly, and has been affecting some of them to this day.

It has now been brought to our attention, however, that this may have been a cruel lie played out by a member of this forum. There were suspicions beforehand but new evidence which has recently surfaced as made this catfishing attempt seem more and more likely.

I realise 14 years is almost half a lifetime ago, but as someone who has been investigating this mystery in an attempt to get closure for those affected, it would be extremely helpful if those who were active then and still are to this day to come forward (even if through means of PM) should they have any information about this horrible trick that would aid me in finding out the truth.

One particular friend of mine who was affected posted a thread on Reddit about this very subject. This friend was the boyfriend/fiance of Rei/Tiffany for the 18 months leading up to her supposed death. I would link it but I don't want to be in breach of any rules that you may have against external linking. If you wish to read it, feel free to PM me and I will happily supply you with the link.

It is not my intention to sully the name of anyone - I merely seek the truth.

Any help or information would be greatly appreciated.

I thank you for your time.

[Loony BoB]

Hey dude, you probably remember me on some level, I know I remember you.

When all that happened, I decided for myself to just treat both possibilities (truth/lie) as just that: Possible. It does sound to me, based on the reddit thread which I've read, that the lie is the more likely result. However, my advice? Just know that there was a person who, in the long gone past, made you feel in a certain way, and now that person is gone. It's okay to grieve for a fictional person, a celebrity, a real person, an animal, whatever. You can mourn the loss of any material thing, too. The thing that was once in your life, the person, they have departed through some means and moving on is all you can do at that point.

It does suck, though. I can understand being curious after all these years, and I hope you find the most important thing in it all: Closure.

I hope that aside from all this, you're doing really well! You always seemed like a good guy, going from memory!

EDIT: Bad reading comprehension on my part, I thought you were the boyfriend/fiance of Tiffiekins, not the friend of said person.

[Psychotic]

If my memory and ability to use reddit are both working, I think your friend may be Jonny. I think we spoke a couple of times on IRC or something back in the day but I'd be surprised if he remembered the interactions. I was LJ friends with Rei and so saw the whole horrible thing play out. It was incredibly smurfed up and regardless of the truth, I'm sorry that happened to him.

I don't really have much to give you. There were a lot of rumours that she faked her death and I recall some people saying they had proof that she didn't die, but I never saw anything concrete and this was obviously a long time ago.

Good luck and as BoB says, I hope there can be some closure.

[Freya]

I vaguely remember hearing about this incident. I joined in 2004 so it was more before my time. From what I've heard though, it sounded like she led a bunch of people on and was fake. Sorry if that's rough to think.

[Loony BoB]

Also, there are no rules against external linking (unless the content you're being sent to is against the rules, eg. porn) so I'll link it for anyone curious: https://www.reddit.com/r/catfish/com..._14_years_ago/

[Aethalas]

Hey dude, you probably remember me on some level, I know I remember you.

When all that happened, I decided for myself to just treat both possibilities (truth/lie) as just that: Possible. It does sound to me, based on the reddit thread which I've read, that the lie is the more likely result. However, my advice? Just know that there was a person who, in the long gone past, made you feel in a certain way, and now that person is gone. It's okay to grieve for a fictional person, a celebrity, a real person, an animal, whatever. You can mourn the loss of any material thing, too. The thing that was once in your life, the person, they have departed through some means and moving on is all you can do at that point.

It does suck, though. I can understand being curious after all these years, and I hope you find the most important thing in it all: Closure.

I hope that aside from all this, you're doing really well! You always seemed like a good guy, going from memory!

Hey BoB! I totally remember you, and it's awesome to see you're still around! (This is Jonny btw.)

At the risk of sounding a bit of an arse, and whilst I do appreciate your advice: It can't be compared to any of those things that you listed. You would go into those particular relationships willingly, knowing their character and their respective outcome. I was involved with somebody, for 18 months of my life, in which I was deceived on a daily basis, be it through email, phone calls, text messages or chat programs. My real life was put on hold whilst I was dealing with their death, which led to me having to flunk out of school with poor grades. I would then go on to work almost a decade in a dead-end job as a result; something that has only just very recently been put to right, at 30 years of age. Your sentiments are absolutely in the right place, and I do appreciate that, but this is not something that can just be brushed under the carpet with an 'oh well' sort of response. They might have faked a persona, but their effect on my life, as a result, is very real. How they have allowed me to think they have been dead for 14 years, and not got in contact to apologize, is absolutely absurd. No, I can't possibly ever forget or move past this, not until this person gets in contact with me, or I discover their identity.

As a side note, I want to add that, whoever this person is, the likelihood of them having visited this forum over the last 14 years is high. The same goes for LiveJournal or other mediums that they were involved with. So, if anybody knows anything, even if it is a small detail, it would hugely beneficial to piecing together their identity. I've already ascertained that some of the facts they wrote about or told me are true. I know this person lived in Crieff (Scotland) for example and that they were a student at Morrison's Academy. Because of this, and from what I have been told by classmates, they are from a family of wealth. This is just scratching the surface on information that has been discovered recently, but I am always available to discuss it in depth, should anyone else be willing to help locate 'Rei.' I have contacted the school for further information, and they are in the process of researching some details that I passed on. Thanks to a student in their class, I know that most of the offline friends they talked about were real people, as well as all of the teacher names they talked about.

If you are reading this, please reach out and get into contact with me. This charade has gone on quite long enough.

[Madame Adequate]

Hey Jonny idk if you remember me, I was... trout, I think I was still Mjollnir back then?? Anyway I'm a girl now but that's another story. I just wanted to say that I remember how badly "Rei" apparently dying messed you up and that I understand you want to find closure on this. I hope you can find resolution.

[DK]

Hey dude, chalk me up as another one who you might not remember, but I remember you for sure. I know we're friends on LJ and I'm pretty sure we used to chat on AIM or MSN a bit back in the day. (I remember...Beowulf? I think that was you!)

But yeah, I also remember how all this went down and how bad it was back in the day. I wish I had some info I could give you to help out, but sadly I don't have anything. I remember you being a good bro, though! I just read your post in the positive life thread and I'm happy that you're in a good place now. I hope you can somehow piece this all together and finally put this to bed. Best of luck my dude.

[Big D]

I remember this incident well; it hit me pretty hard at the time. Then about six years ago someone raised the possibility that events hadn't unfolded as they had appeared, and noted that "I am sure that whatever circumstances gave birth to this persona have long passed".

That's the perspective I've taken since then. Whatever prompted the events of 14 years ago is very much over and done now. I don't feel there'd be any value or closure in trying to reach out to anyone involved: They made a conscious choice to bring things to an end a long time ago, and would either be unlikely to engage if they were contacted now, or unlikely to offer any explanation for the past that would satisfy all concerned. Plus there are the inherent risks in trying to locate someone who went out of their way to sever all contact.

That's how I see it, anyway. Other perspectives will surely vary, and it's not for me to tell other folks how they should feel.

[Intel]

I remember this incident well; it hit me pretty hard at the time. Then about six years ago someone raised the possibility that events hadn't unfolded as they had appeared, and noted that "I am sure that whatever circumstances gave birth to this persona have long passed".

That's the perspective I've taken since then. Whatever prompted the events of 14 years ago is very much over and done now. I don't feel there'd be any value or closure in trying to reach out to anyone involved: They made a conscious choice to bring things to an end a long time ago, and would either be unlikely to engage if they were contacted now, or unlikely to offer any explanation for the past that would satisfy all concerned. Plus there are the inherent risks in trying to locate someone who went out of their way to sever all contact.

That's how I see it, anyway. Other perspectives will surely vary, and it's not for me to tell other folks how they should feel.

I guess it really depends how deep one was into the situation. I would imagine that because Jonny developed not just a friendship, but a loving relationship that ultimately was built on a large lie, that he would require a bit more closure than someone who may be on the outside looking in, so to speak. Especially as, as he wrote in his post, the whole situation affected him psychologically to the point where his life was negatively influenced because he believed his love was gone.

I, of course, cannot speak for Jonny but it's how I would feel were I him. Personally though, I want to see the mystery solved and the truth revealed. As Mordo says in Doctor Strange: "The bill comes due. Always."

[Loony BoB]

Yeah, I never meant it as an "Oh well" kind of thing, but more so what Big D is getting at. I'm not sure what you hope to achieve by finding this person... I'm sure you hope to find closure of some kind, but it seems like this is still absorbing you and even if you do find the person, what then? Tell them that when they were 14 years old or however old they were, that they were a jerk and that it was really mean? I'm absolutely not trying to belittle you in any way, but I genuinely hope that you can find some closure within yourself as that is where it will inevitably need to take place, no matter if you find the other person or not. If you are still spending all your time trying to track down this person then I don't think that the end result will be what you are after. They have probably left it in the past, as some stupid thing they did as a young teenager. I agree it would be absolutely wonderful if they were to own up and apologise but I simply don't think that will make you feel any better about what happened.

For what it's worth, with all the drama that unfolded, if I recall correctly we did make some checks on IP addresses etc. at the time to establish if the user had created a second account to come back to us with but we found nothing.

I'm so sorry to hear how much this has impacted your life, but I do hope you can look towards ways to finding closure within yourself more so than from some confrontation. You know yourself better than I could know you, obviously, but my gut feeling says that the real action needs to take place in your heart and mind, rather than from any confirmation from the other party... whoever they are.

I must admit I always did want to know what happened, though, so I understand that as someone who was far, far closer to the persona of Tiffiekins than anyone else around, you would want to push harder than the rest of us. I'm just concerned, that's all, for yourself and whether it is healthy that you are still trying to track down this person 14 years later.

Good luck, in whatever action you take, though. Remember to put your own health first, though, mental health especially. *hugs*

[Intel]

I think it's more of a case of finding a sense of closure as to asking why they let someone believe for 14 years they were dead when they weren't. As Jonny said in the Positive thread in Lifestream, he has moved on. So there's no feelings of being stuck in the past, in that regard. At least that's what I think from my talks with him, along with posts he's made.

And for me, I have recently had doubts form in my mind as to the level of truth behind the entire story. I do believe that there are aspects of her story that were planted in real life. I believe she had the friends she did. I believe she had the interests she did. I believe she lived where she said she did. I believe she went to school where she said. There was definitely truth in her journal entries. After all, she spoke with a level of detail at times where one could see that she was talking from experience. She may have been using the persona as a means to escape real life. It was just unfortunate that the life of the character caught up with the person and this was the only way she saw to end the facade without making those who cared for her angry. And that leads to me what I disagree with most: letting those came people who cared for her believe that this person has been dead for 14 years. These people who have mourning an illusion.

This is why I want to find out the truth. My stake in this is to help a friend find a sense of closure so that he can close the book on this chapter of his life and carry on with the new book he has been writing ever since.

[Loony BoB]

That's fair - I just don't know if the truth will really give any closure in itself.

Just thinking... "letting someone believe ___ for 14 years" - how old was this person again? Genuine question. Because there are huge gaps in my memory of what happened when I was around 13 years old and I don't think a person would have spent most of those 14 years thinking about this (rightly or wrongly, or just factually). Hearing from someone about it may catch them completely unawares and they might have assumed it was just kids on the internet being dumb and lying, as I know many did back then (some of which came clean, some of which were caught out, some otherwise).

Again, I'm just concerned that this won't end in a way that will give any real closure if there is no personal closure in Jonny's mind/heart. =[

[Intel]

how old was this person again? Genuine question.

Rei was 17 when she died. Born in 1987, died in 2004.

And I can completely understand that people may have gaps in their memory about certain events, especially when they were half a lifetime ago. I mean, my memory before all of this was that she lived in Scotland, was around 16. Had two names, Rei and Tiffany. Had several siblings. And died in a car accident. And also that the parents gave no one details of where the body was interred. Not Jonny, not any friends. No one. I would find it odd that her brother would talk to Jonny saying that she loved Jonny and yet not give him any details on where he could go to say goodbye.

[Loony BoB]

Yeah, I figure it was definitely a fabrication based on what has been uncovered. It certainly did have the feels of one early on but there was no real way to figure things out back then with the little we actually knew of her. She probably thought that it was getting out of hand and that it wouldn't work out, so she felt that a "death" was the easy way out and that the other person would move on better that way than from the truth. I don't think it was the right choice, personally, but despite knowing her on a personal level back then - or at least on a "chatted with them frequently" level I never really had any way of finding out the truth.