The Journal Thread (May)

[Calliope]

goodshirt = good!

[Ferenan]

Dear journal,

I have decided it is time for me to restart life once again. I will be locking myself in my room for 72 hours of japanese study. I haven't worked out in a week or so, and after this weekend, i will begin again monday. It's time to be serious.

[Rinoa Archangel]

I am crazy. For months and months I have been unable to get over my boyfriend of two and a half years. I have been pathetically unable to function. I cry a lot and have a tendency to be reclusive. I think that everyone hates me and that I have nothing to live for. He has already had two other girlfriends since we broke up. I feel like I was nothing to him for those two years because he won't even talk to me anymore. I feel worthless and abandoned and unloved. I feel out of control, like I can't even control my own mind, like I'm not even alive anymore. I go into these crazy trances where I can't stop crying and I wake up later covered in blood because the inly way I can get myself to stop crying is to cut myself with razor blades.:sad: I don't know what to do. I'm afraid one day I'll never wake up; yet the idea of not feeling anymore is strangely relaxing. Anyhow, I hope anyone with similar problems realizes they're not alone, because these are the times when you feel the most alone. Here's a poem:
Pain

With open arms I accept it readily,
Holding the pain, my gift, my pleasure.
The pain forewarns, I drag it heavily.
My pretty pain, my only treasure.
You give it freely
I accept anything from you,
My beautiful god of love and pain.
I give my love, you give it back
Transformed into my lovely pain,
My beautiful gift.
Holding the pain in my heart,
Cradling it.
Galvanizing it in my evil,
For an evil like me deserves only pain.
I accept the pain you generously bestow
On me, a creature so low,
The pain that is my ultimate present.
So I keep it, my precious pain.
I drag the razors across my skin
And let the pain sink in.
I am so evil, pain is my pleasure,
My only treasure.

[Crystal_Clear]

Journal:

today, i finnaly hit my 100th post. Nothing happend around here, i havent gotten a PM yet for my list i just made into my sig.
I got hurt a bit skateboarding, and fell off my trampoline.

[Ferenan]

Dear journal,

Today someone said i've begun to act like Ferenan again, this makes me happy. I played a concert today, and i did pretty good singing my first song, but we messed up a bit on our second, but everyone still clapped and liked us. Things are beginning to change...

[Calliope]

It's my Official Unbirthday! I am twelve. *bows*

[Tokki Wartooth]

rinoa archangel, don't do something you'll later regret over a mere guy. guys are like fish..they come and go so often, you won't even miss them anymore by the time they're gone..be strong, girl. the right guy will come for you eventually! ^_^

[Lightning_Demon]

Dear Journal,
I am not a fish, I'm a goat! (Capricorn). Besides that, AP EXAMS ARE OVER AND LITTLE ME IS HAPPY. There is of course more school work to be done, but do I care? The answer is no. No as in N-O. Can't wait for summer, finally freedom is drawing near...

[Sky Blade]

Well, everything is just an ordinary day. Concerning for today's El Niño, almost every country in this world suffer that kind of phenomenon. Right now, I am working as trainee before I earn a degree of Information Technology one and a half years later. Checking some repiles from my posts and other posts. only few replied.

Another imagination comes in my mind...

Trabia

Wind Shear 3(that's me): Tally ho! Galbadian cruise missiles are on the way to the Garden!
Air Combat Officer: Good luck.
Wind Shear 3: (fires a missile) Fox 3! (missed the target) Missed!
Air Combat Officer: Another Galbadian cruise missile heading to the Capital!
Wind Shear 3: I'm on my way! (suddenly hits a missile heading to the Capital) I'm hit! I'm hit!

And the fighter aircraft is down. Though he stopped criuse missiles heading to the Capital, he failed the rest.

-----

That's all for this hour

[Ferenan]

Dear Journal,

Calliope is sending me a letter i think, in real life. I'm excited, and i hope to receive it soon. She said she will write in japanese. This makes me feel special. Thank you, Nicky. On another note, my weight training continues...

[jinzai]

Dear Journal,

I've found another alternative to the FFforum...EOFF. I found this place by accident earlier today. I like it & I think I'm going to stay...

I didn't do anything else today. Cleaned the apt. up & did a load of laundry. Extremely boring day...

- Jinzai

[Rinoa Archangel]

I can't sleep, and so here I am at 2:00 a.m. posting that I can't sleep. Wow. I had to leave work today because I started crying. I was so embarrassed. On a happier note, I saw Spiderman and it was really good. You should all see it if you haven't. I get to be out of school soon, and I am very happy about it. I don't like high school. I like to sleep in. I am much better than in my last post. Sorry to be depressing. Well now I'm tired so lets see if I can sleep. Have a good night/day, and see Spiderman.

RA

[Lightning_Demon]

Dear Journal,

Oh yes it was a lovely day at last. We started a trial in English and I completely embarassed the prosecution, mwahaha, my Johnny Cochran style WORKED!! Evil + rhyming = Litigative success!

[Calliope]

I did "stuff" today

[jinzai]

Hey Diary,

Today was pretty hectic at work. Kelly left a whole bunch of crap for me to do & it's pissing me off. I did it anyway since I'm not lazy like her. She's trying to be nice to me, but I've got the feeling that she's got some kind of hidden agenda. I need to watch her. Kelly's never nice to me or anyone for that matter. I'm going to key the hell out of her car if she keeps this up...

Came home & Jay didn't leave anything for me to eat. **Sighs**damn. I'm hungry. I'm eating cheez-it & drinking Sprite. I'm too tired to cook right now...

- jinzai