I seem to have hit the dumps this time..... I seem to have lost my life again due to an overflow of stress.... dealing with these things are hard but I never knew that they would be this containing and harsh to even think about the past that bothers you more and more...... the idea of feeling lonely haunts my dreams every night which wakes me in a horror of never to be loved like others are.... I look around and I see couples.... everywhere.... and then I think to myself.... why can't I be like them.... the first answer that comes to my mind is usually one that I do not come up with on my own.... something like You have no feelings if you don't have that, why do you want to love or be loved? the second thing is that I've been told many times that I'm not good enough for anybody, which makes me contradict that I am officially a loser..... not your loser who ends up with a girl in the end cause she's a loser too, I'm a loser. Period. nothing goes on in my story. I feel so bad about myself sometimes for thinking these things but they are true....... every last word is true.....