ULTIMA POSTAGA - Non-elemental, but extremely wordy ability in which the spell-caster logs into an internet forum and begins to mindlessly banter about such topics as "What's your favorite Final Fantasy!"

EIDTAGA - This spell is used when the Ultima Postaga spell goes completely awry. When strange effects such as the dreaded "TYPO" and "INCOMPLETENESS" and even the ever-dreaded "DOUBLE-POST!" are inflicted upon your character, the EDITAGA spell is a modsend!

MARKETAGA - An status spell with the unexplained effect of being able to take over the minds of a massive number of people and get them to purchase countless video games... and in extreme cases, also cause them to purchase all the soundtracks, toys, and other merchandise associated with said video game.