Originally posted by Bert If the badgers bit off (sic)ehr legs how are you going to put sauce and paper cuts between her toes?
Alright, Bert, you got me. I failed to specify. We'll papercut the battered, fried nerve endings that would ATTACH to her toes. Then proceed as stated.

Joel, by all means, my hatred for popculture is infinite, and I'll custom-make a "treatment plan" for any celebrities we plan on offing. I myself particularly dislike Ally McBeal, but I can't think of anything that would torture her without killing her, cos she's so damned frail that she'd just break. Perhaps force-feed her until she's the size of a normal human being, and then make her look in a mirror and let the aneurysm do the rest... hmm...

But yeah. I'm a creative guy. Say the word and I'll desiccate whoever you want.

And that includes rude pirates!