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Thread: Those Silly Things About Video Games...

  1. #1
    Silent Emotion Rainecloud's Avatar
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    Default Those Silly Things About Video Games...

    You know what I'm talking about - those silly little things that happen in all videogames without fail. For some reason, totally illogical and pathetic things are a common occurance in the majority of games these days, and there is no explanation offered as to why these things are still included. For example:

    1) Guards? What Guards?!

    Game: Zelda 64: Ocarina of Time. Place: Hyrule Castle. Somehow, even with the unbelievably tight security, Link manages to get straight into the central garden section of Hyrule Castle and to the Princess without being spotted by a single guard. Surely the most important person in the entire land could be a little more secure? Link could have been on an assasination attempt for all we know, and Zelda could have ended up with that Kokiri sword straight through her face. This also happens in loads of other games. A mission is placed before you, and only two incredibly stupid guards are placed between your character and the big red button that destroys the world.

    2) Superhuman Powers!

    Game: Goldeneye 007 (or nearly every FPS game). Place: Everywhere. James Bond sneaks into the nuclear warhead facility through the ventilation shafts above and drops down into the toilet cubicle. He comes across a guard who happens to be taking a leek and gets shot in the chest six times. However, James is perfectly fine and retaliates by shooting the guard in the leg - killing him instantly. James continues on down the corridor, and is shot by three guards armed with sub machine guns. James brushes off the bullets and wastes the guards with a couple of shots from his PPK. Why is James superhuman? Why can't these guards survive puncured lungs and pierced brains like our James?

    Note: I'm not asking for these things to be changed, because it's all part of the game. If games weren't like this, they'd be impossible to complete. Nevertheless, it is amusing to pick out these silly points and make fun of them.

    Having said that, are there any things in games that make you laugh? Any totally illogical and stupid scenarios that you'd like to share with us?
    "As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless,
    uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"

  2. #2

    Default

    Ok i got one
    The main badguys never learn. No matter how many times the hero has gotten into the headquarters and broken in to thwart he evil plans he/she should realize that if he removed even one of those little floating platforms away from his/her bas they'd be safe from the hero forever.

  3. #3
    Ravishing Introvert Shoyku's Avatar
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    There always seems to be helpful pickups inside enemy bases and whatnot just for you.

  4. #4

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    You find bullets and ammunition in the most innopropreate places like under a bed, or in the bathroom of a mansion.

    Dimensions are always messed up, the outside of a building is always smaller then the inside, this also goes with the heroes ability to carry 100 bombs, 100 missles, 100 arrows, 1 giant bazooka, and a large broadsword twice the length of the hero all on his/her pockets.

  5. #5
    Feel the Bern Del Murder's Avatar
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    I always liked in RPGs that everyone patiently waits their turn before fighting, including enemies.

    Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
    When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine Trump University! - Ralph Wiggum

  6. #6

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    "Oh no sir, you go first. We can wait."

    And yeah, as Joel points out, what's with the weaponry lying around? What if a small child were to come across a chaingun in the middle of the corridor? Or an active grenade?

    And what's with boss characters? What makes person 'X' so much tougher than the five hundred nobodies you have just sliced/shot your way through?

  7. #7

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    You can kill a gigantic 100 foot tall nuke burping, lazer farting, 27 armed town stoping giant robot with just a bere pellet gun, all you need to do is memories its attack patterns.

    The main hero fallows the laws of Logans run, the oldest most of the heroes in games are about 18, a grizzeld combat hero is usually 21-22.

    The main heroine has some kind of jewl that has the power to save the world or destroy it.

  8. #8

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    In top sucurity bases they place slow moving visible (or right next to an infa-red goggle) lazers in patterns that are designed to be walked through

    Bosses have attack patterns

    After the alarms gone, 30 seconds later, guards seem to have forgotten about you and are going about as if you were never there.

    The average guard has a vison range of approxmitly 4 meters.

    They can spot massive lazer beams coming out of your gun.

    you seem to be able to have half hour long conversations in the middle of a battle while the enimie just stands around and makes a cup of coffee.

    People can be stabbed with a foot wide sword several times, yet still back flip over their opponant to be killed with a small kick to the ankles.

    In MGS2 revolver ocelot jumps about 50 ft onto Metal gear ray

    Bad guys seem content on destroying the world. I mean where would they go from there. I quote from the tick

    "are you interested in destroying the world"
    "good god no, All my stuff is there"

    I have more.
    Word/s.

  9. #9
    Ravishing Introvert Shoyku's Avatar
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    The main character is usually somewhat super-human in the fact that s/he can probably run to infinite and not get tired, as well as jump and pull off any other feats with relative ease. Not to mention you could fall off insane heights and make it off with just a little damage done to you.

  10. #10

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    A rest in a hotel can do you wonders, you can heal open wounds, rid your body of deadly poisonous toxins, remove burns, and remove other ailments just by taking a nap at an inn for a night.

    They call them cities and towns but the only buildings that they have are a hotel, a gunshop, and a medicine shop.

    A massive godlike sorcerer has enough power to take over the world, so what does he do? Hold a fighting tournament!

    Exploding heads, thats cool, vulgar language, no problem, extreme violence, go nuts, sexual stu.. NO!! NEVER

    No matter what time peroid it is the main hero and villain are the only characters to use swords.

    Bad guys always leave there weak spots open for any idiot to throw a grenade at.

  11. #11
    Silent Emotion Rainecloud's Avatar
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    Why does Sonic the Hedgehog not die when he has rings? Do they form some sort of protective barrier against razor sharp spixes and toxic gases? I think not!

    Why do enemies miraculously return to life in certain games when you simply walk off the screen and then step back a few paces?

    Heh. This thread is very entertaining. Thanks for your contributions.
    "As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless,
    uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?"

  12. #12
    Bigger than a rancor SomethingBig's Avatar
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    A certain FF character can get killed by a sword, but she'll be damned if she were to be taken down by guns, grenades, giant snakes, lazer beams, or robots that stomp on her.

    A giant meteor is capable of destroying planets and even the sun, yet it doesn't kill the heroes.

    Mushrooms that make people grow bigger.

  13. #13

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    Whenever I go around a police barricade in Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2, the cops always seem to know if I go around a barrier when I go through a detour around where it's located, almost as if they had some sort of telepathic connection with where my car was, even though they were waiting where I wasn't.

    Freaking odd. Kind of funny, too.

  14. #14
    Ravishing Introvert Shoyku's Avatar
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    I really don't understand the Mario levels in which the level is progressing with or without you, and you die if you don't catch up.

  15. #15

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    People actually say outloud.
    To climb latters press the circle button and press up on the DPad.

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