Hi.
Originally posted by Yams
No. That only works with Unne and possibly Bleys. I think Bleys should give it a shot. He might be surprised what happens.Originally posted by Joel
It has come to my attention that Bleys actually made EoFF work, it is his life force and essence that keeps the place running. He steps down from his admin position and what happens? The site, the forums, everything goes down every other week. This is a petition to get Bleys back on the admin position. Sign it if you wish toforcepersuade him to take the position back.Originally posted by pr00t
All Bleys need to do is just ask if he wants it back.Very touching. Stop it, please?
Since you're all no doubt thinking "Oh, dear, this is just Bleys putting on the grumpy act again," I'm going to come right level with you all, OK? None of this is an act--I mean every word of this post.
I'm not coming back. End of story. Please stop hinting that I should ask to come back--it's not going to happen, and it's upsetting me a lot.
EoFF used to mean a lot to me--You guys think you have an idea, but you really don't. Nobody does. Maybe Unne or WesLY--and I doubt that--but the rest of you don't have the slightest freaking clue. I gave it my best shot for three years, which in message board parlance is a sod of a long time. It didn't work.
Yes, towards the end, I always said everything would be better if Sean came back, and yes, he did. Yes, I said that everything started to collaps for me the last time Unne stepped down, and yes, I meant that--and I'm happy that Unne and Sean came back. I really am. It makes a big difference for me, and it's made me decide to stick around and check this place every day instead of my original plan, which was to slowly fade away after the elections and come back in a year and see if maybe things would be better. You guys are great, and I'm really glad to see you back where you belong--but for me, it's too little, too late. Coming back now doesn't unmake all of the crap that happened to me, and to my relationship with EoFF in general, while you were away.
In my last year as an admin, my morale was on a steady downward spiral. I quit when I did because that was the first time since I decided that it was over that there wasn't any grand drama going on that would make people think that I was quitting for some stupid, transient reason, and blow some minor issue way out of proportion. Let's face it--EoFF doesn't need my help to blow small issues out of proportion. And oh, there's something I never would have said while I was on staff.
EoFF has changed a lot. I don't want to hear the semantics BoB, you can say it hasn't all you want, but it has. And along with it, we as members have changed. I have changed--and for the worse. Coming back now won't fix anything. The world isn't some grand fairy tale where things always work out in the end. For me, coming back on staff would just be a futile staying action with no real fruit whatsoever.
A lot of you want Citizen Bleys the Administrator back--The Citizen Bleys who always talked about how great EoFF was and who went to such great lengths and agonized so much over it, and who always defended it when people were saying bad things about it. That's not going to happen. I am not that person anymore. That person is dead. I am a man who has seen a lot of good old friends fade away, one who has fallen from grace, one who has lost faith in the community, and to an extent, humankind. I used to be the kind of person who trusted until I saw a reason why not to. I'm a lot more cynical now. A lot of things that happened in my last year on staff hurt me, and a lot more than I let on. That's saying something, as I let on enough for people to start accusing me of being a drama whore. Moreover, I'm still hurt by a lot of that, and I'm still angry at a lot of that, and there's really not a lot left about the way EoFF is run that I can agree with anymore.
Since I left staff, I've been happier. I get along better with the staff. Whenever I talk to BoB, or Becky, or Shlup, or Leeza, it's about fun things. Happy things. I like that. I don't want to go back to arguing against them on every issue to cross the staff forum. My relationship with these people--and others, but less so--has increased 100% since we've cut the bloody politics out of things. If I go back on staff, it'll go back to the days when I felt like that crew (and a couple others, less so) were ganging up on me. Oh, but throw Unne into the mix, because much as I like the results he gets, he and I usually aren't on the same side in anything in staff.
I used to love it here because I felt like everybody loved me. Now I just feel like a chewed-up has-been who isn't really wanted anymore, but whom nobody has the heart to kick out the door. It's going to take a long time for my morale to recover from what happened towards the end of my term on staff. And until it does, how can you expect me to be a good admin when I feel the way I do? It can't be done.
I'm sorry, everybody. I know this is harsh, and I know that when you saw the title of this thread, you probably thought "Bleys is coming back," and then I pulled the rug out from under you, but it had to be said. If I'd just kept this quiet, I know you'd all have kept on doing what you're doing, and with all of the precious memories invested in this, it really upsets me when you do that. It would be better if each of you were to just fly down to my house and punch me in the jaw as hard as you could. This case has to be closed, once and for all.
I don't want to burn my bridges here, because a part of me does want to come back, because a part of me believes in a fairy-tale world in which everything will be OK just because Sean and Unne are back. Fortunately, my brain speaks louder than my heart this time. Maybe one day, I'll want to come back, and I'll have recovered the faith I need to do a good job--but don't hold your breath. It won't be soon. Maybe EoFF won't even be around anymore. Frankly, I don't feel too much better about things than I did the day I resigned, so please let it lie for at least one full calendar year. Preferably longer.
So now do you believe I mean it when I say I'm done?
Although I was joking. I'm pretty sure I know when you mean something and when you don't, and you've made this clear before, so yeah.
