William Hung is the second worst thing to hit the airwaves in the last five years...

...behind only American Idol itself...

Simon Cowell is barely qualified to be producing music, let alone judging talent...

Paula Abdul was over when she danced with the animated cat...

...and who the heck is this Randy Jackson guy? Is he a relative of Michael? Who is he?

For proof of AI's taint, look no further than its "winners": A shrieky screamer that can barely carry a tune in the shower, and Kelly Clarkson.

I rest my case.

But of course, on FOX, it gets great ratings, while actually good shows are being brushed aside for this popularity contest. That's why I haven't willingly watched a FOX show for the past year and a half...not even The Simpsons...