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Thread: If history was an RPG who would be the final boss?

  1. #1
    Eoff + Fabio = Win Lord Chainsaw's Avatar
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    Default If history was an RPG who would be the final boss?

    And what would his stats be? How would you beat him?

    For me the answer is easy.

    The final boss would be:

    Stalin
    HP: 32,000
    ATP: 122
    VIT: 145
    INT: 50
    EXP: 20,000
    GP: 5,000

    The battle with Stalin is the final battle of the game, in which you must fight atop the floating city of Stalingrad. First of all, do NOT go into this fight with any characters below level 60. You will be CRUSHED if your characters are not at least 60 for this fight. 70 is recommended. Know that Stalin's Iron Fist of Communism can and will deal 4,000 points of damage to all party members. Not only that, when he uses it he also drains away a small fraction of that HP and gives it to himself. Not good!

    He will also occasionaly cast stone skin and become invulnerable for a few rounds. During this time, the cold weather of Stalingrad will more than likely wear down your characters for 2,000 points of damage a round. Use this time to heal up and cast attack enhancing magic. When stone skin wears off go back to pounding away at him. He has A LOT of HP, so the fight might take a while.

    And the optional bosses:

    Galileo
    HP: 65,535
    ATP: 255
    VIT: 200
    INT: 255
    EXP: 40,000
    GP: 0


    Galileo is probably the hardest boss in the game. He has a boatload of HP, and no real weaknesses. He will use the gravity based helio-centric theory every now and then to take away 75% of your characters' max hp. He can also summon Aristarchus to deal 5000-6000 points of type-less damage to one character. The only real hope you have in this battle is to silence him. It will stop him from using the dreaded helio-centric theory spell, but it won't stop his powerful physical attacks or his Aristarchus summon. Be careful, Silence does not always work!

    And of course...

    Rasputin
    HP: 1,000,000
    ATP: 1
    VIT: 255
    INT: 130
    EXP: 500,000
    GP: 3,000

    Rasputin is sort of an oddity among optional bosses. He can't really kill you, but you can't really kill him either. After dealing about 50,000 points of damage to him, he'll cast Cure 3 and recover most of it. You're faced with a decision at this point. You can either keep pounding away at him and hope he runs out of MP, or you can run away. Poison also has no effect in this fight, so don't try to poison him and leave the game running for 3 hours.

    To hell with Battletoads and Double Dragon.
    THIS is the ultimate team.

  2. #2
    Quack Shlup's Avatar
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    I swear to god first person to say "Bush, lmao" gets banned.

  3. #3

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    DUBYA LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    No seriously Margaret Thatcher. She's a cold bitch.

  4. #4
    Your very own Pikachu! Banned Peegee's Avatar
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    Grin

    MTV
    HP: 40 000 000, or however much money they make in a year
    VIT, SPD, STR, ETC: 255
    absorbs all elem attacks
    immune to all status attacks
    base attack: 9999 hp

    and etc. Basically indestructable.

  5. #5
    Feel the Bern Administrator Del Murder's Avatar
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    God, of course. He would somehow incorporate images of the dieties of all the major religions, and thus continue the RPG standard that the religious factions are evil.

    My final party:

    Arthur
    George Washigton
    Jesus (Father! Noooooo!!)
    Ghandi

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  6. #6
    disc jockey to your heart krissy's Avatar
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    me

    cant win sorry :}

  7. #7

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    OOh, my final prarty:

    Ronald Mcdonald
    Wheres Waldo?
    Wheres Osama?
    Sarah Maree from Big Brother ROLOL

    edit: hi kriss!!y asl?

  8. #8
    ..a Russian mountain cat. Yamaneko's Avatar
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    Del: What would Ghandi do?

  9. #9

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    Joel Anthoney Holmes the Slayer

    HP: 150,000
    MP: 666
    Skills:
    Massive swearing attack
    Double Palm heel strike
    Club crusher
    The "I sit on you" attack
    High pitched singing voice of doom

    Hase very little weaknesses, but throwing can's of Diet Coke and Root beer causes severe weakness.

  10. #10
    Char, The Red Comet bennator's Avatar
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    I was going to say God, but that was already taken.

    So, I'll say God anyways... an appropriate final boss.
    Grab the opportunities life hands you, that's my motto!

  11. #11
    Scatter, Senbonzakura... DocFrance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Del Murder
    and thus continue the RPG standard that the religious factions are evil.
    It's so true it's not even funny.

    I think a good final boss would be the embodiment of the plague of mankind - AIDS. Maybe one of those deep, philosophical fights where we learn that AIDS has been in our genetic code for millennia, controlling our every action. And it came to Earth on a meteor or something. Yeah.

    I won't go into the stats, but my final party would be
    -General George S. Patton
    -Joanne d'Arc
    -El Cid (there has to be a Cid)
    -Jonas Salk
    ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
    (1) Eric Clapton is God.
    (2) Therefore, God exists.

  12. #12
    Quack Shlup's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocFrance
    -El Cid (there has to be a Cid)
    That's the name my dad uses in IRC.

  13. #13
    Feel the Bern Administrator Del Murder's Avatar
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    Ghandi would be the healer. Jesus seems obvious for this role but he powers would be more useful on the offensive.

    Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
    When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine Trump University! - Ralph Wiggum

  14. #14
    Mr. Encyclopedia Kirobaito's Avatar
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    Default

    The final boss would have 3 forms.

    Hitler Austrius
    HP: 73,000
    MP: 450
    Skills: Hand Wave

    Hitler Nazias
    HP: 120,000
    MP: 500
    Skills: Can Summon Gestapo

    Hitler Imperius
    HP: 150,000
    MP: 666
    Skills: Poison Gas

    Party:
    Alexander the Great
    Jesus
    Gandhi
    Eisenhower

  15. #15
    Banned Thunday Man's Avatar
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    Default

    Kittens

    HP:45
    Mp:23
    Att: 4
    Def:12
    Agi:50
    Cute:902

    You win at life! Good job.

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