Urber-Kai!!!!!!!!!
Hello and welcome to this dodgy backstreet of a forum.  We will happly provide you with the best mind-warping possible.  Over in that corner is the 
liquidfyingly Droolie SeX0rie PG.  In that far corner is 
Ansem the vampire Slayer, he keeps the underground sewers clean of people who dislike KH, sunlight or Steel Bars.  Over there on the sunny side of the boards is 
Xander, 
BoB, 
Leeza, 
Archie and all the other knights.  They won't let us in because they believe that sunlight is a priviledge that we mere mortals and 
cool people don't deserve....
That really tall building there on the north side of the Boards is 
BAoTW HQ, its usually inhabited by 
Misfit, 
Denmark, and 
Psychotic.  Their a friendly and welcoming bunch, if you go over they'll give you 
nachos and let you stroke their 
Walrus.  Along with this the other members of BAoTW have been known to hang out there as well.
South side is the 
Help, 
Staff and 
Ideas Forums, they provide all the help with your computer, system, games, 
sigs and 
avatars that you may need along with allowing you to give something back to this dear town.  These areas are regularly patrolled by 
Archie and 
Eternalshiva, if they don't help you they'll take you back to their hideouts for 
sexy cookies.
The West side of town is quite a busy area incompassing the whole of the 
Square-Enix Boards, from FF 1 to Chrono Cross its all there.  Along with help, tips, spoilers and a little bit of madcapness.  Always worth a peak just to see whats going on.  Oh just while I remember you'll need to show your member pass to get into the Staff and Eyes On You areas, they have vicious kittens guarding those areas, trust me 
 
 
The East side is the secret side of town including the musical sector of 
B-frame and B00B's personal Pron site.  Its so hard to get into its like being eaten by a rabbits, you so want it to happen but you know it never will.
The final area is the one you stand in now, ground-zero square in the town center, known to an unspecified few as 
General Chat.  Along with this abismal and sometimes scary place theres the 
Eyes on You sector and 
the lounge in this central hub.
Remember, enjoy the libray, follow the rules and for the gods sakes don't drink the water from the River Chocobo!