Well the thing is, they also got bad parties, its not that they dont like partying, but because how the #@%^ do they know that your party is any different? They can waste more time and exp and money on your party and get nothing out of it. WAR/RDM should not be healing primarily...and i advise a better sub on the side note .

Dont invite without /tell of course, i just decline immediately, thats rude. But its best to tell them your pt setup before so they know that you are making the effort..and therefore better pt usually. Now as for ideal parties...it has to at least have healer/tank. Later levels after 50, a party without a RDM or BRD usually isnt worth the time because you need alot of exp, and if your going to not bring something that speeds it up as big as a RDM or BRD, then your just screwing yourself over. Thats why most parties do not leave without at least one of them. The ideal party setup is going to be needed later...theres no substitute.

I search for RDM and BRD first, but i always see if there are tanks availible first, if there are i take them if they are rare, if its somewhat common i nab the refreshers first(most important), then the tank, and then the magic burster be it RDM, BLM, NIN, or DRK(preferably BLM), then a dmg dealer strong vs mobs we exp with, like with flies we take DRG, or bones we take MNK. Choice/skill is what determines exp lost in parties, 1000exp an hour, and also 5000 exp an hour. Thats why for optimal parties people with elaborate search comments and stuff get parties...but people should give time for the party to start, i can gladly wait one hour for the right party rather than go with some half assed one like WAR, WAR, DRK, DRG, WHM, WHM.