Well, first you have to consider the relationship between you and your boyfriend. He's being a jerk, as we know, so maybe you should talk to him? A lot of things can be solved by talking.

Second, and the hardest question of all, is homosexuality right for you? From your account, you seemed to really jump on to the "other team" rather quickly. Your ex-girlfriend was only three months pregnant when you dumped her and said you've always secretly loved this guy - maybe you were behaving too rashly? I understand that many people go through dramatic personality changes when both of the parents die, but mentally panicing isn't going to solve anything.

Third, it must have been tough getting discharged from the Air Force for a medical disqualification. I guess you really do need both hands on the wheel, right? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make light of your recent amputation. It's just that I think we all need to laugh at ourselves sometimes. To quote Jimmy Buffett, "if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

Anyway, good luck in the future. I hope you consider my advice. Also, you won't find much in terms of sheet music in EoEo