Buy the greatest ketchup ever

[Shadow Nexus]

You don't support capitalists.

Why should your ketchup?

Commie Ketchup™ is made in Cuba, from ingredients grown in Cuba.

All Ketchup is created equal, but some ketchup is more equal


Commie Ketchup™ is made in Cuba, from ingredients grown in Cuba.

The leading competitor not only has 57 varieties, but has 57 foreign factories as well. Commie Ketchup comes in one flavor: Communist.

In side-by-side taste tests of five leading brands, we found that Commie Ketchup is second to none. You'll never go back to CapitaKetchup again!


Comments

On the Left

Doods you rule. Who is Che, by the way? LOL JK
- Dude, Crackton

I saw your ad in National Review and my husband and I can't wait for our Commie Ketchup! I think the timing is meaningful since it was our late, beloved José Saramago who proclaimed that, yes, ketchup can be counted as a vegetable. As a ketchup-loving, red-blooded red gal, I couldn't agree more!
- Sonia Rodríguez, Santiago de Cuba

Thanks for filling the ketchup void for us commies!! Great label, too!
— M.E.

From the makers of Commie Ketchup to Fidel Castro: We thank you for your comments, but we fear we cannot upload your writings on ketchup to this site because 2 GB of text is beyond our server capability. We are happy to hear, though, that you have decided to give a six hour long speech about ketchup in the middle of Havana, without a pause to faint and under the boiling sun.
-The creators of TRUE RED KETCHUP

On the Right


You're not only tasteless, you a##holes are stupid!
— W.C.

Very. But our ketchup tastes more commie than the average capitalist ketchup.

AAAARGH!!! YOU PEOPLE WANT TO INVADE US AND TAKE AWAY OUR FREEDOM!!!
- Person

NOT SO LOUD!!!










OK, OK, I'm not making a parody of the FAQ, I'm not that bored.

In case you are wondering the source of this silly post...

http://www.wketchup.com


And remember, comrades....YOU'LL NEVER BE FREE FROM CAPITALISTIC ALIENATION UNTIL YOU TAKE SOME COMMIE KETCHUP! Um...too long for a good slogan.

[Polaris]

Ahahahahahahah... very funny!!!

Why ketchup have been so boder in these days???

Communists ketchups, liberty ketchups!!!!

[Shadow Nexus]

But remember, ours is the best, cause it's red ketchup done by....reds!!!

The rest are posers. Both Heinz and W are DAMN POSERS. We, on the other hand, are The True Ketchup Warriors, also known as Tomato Guerrilla.

[War Angel]

XDDDDDD

Shadow Nexus - I believe this is your creation. If so, kudos to you, you rock (except that your opinions suck). If not - thank you for bringing this here.

[nik0tine]

hahahahahaha thats some funny stuff! But does the 'W' ketchup double as fascist ketchup? if not its unfair and unbalanced and we need a nazi ketchup. it could be like heinz, except we could call it heinrichz.

[Shadow Nexus]

XDDDDDD

Shadow Nexus - I believe this is your creation. If so, kudos to you, you rock (except that your opinions suck). If not - thank you for bringing this here.

Well, it is mine. At least the parody in this post, because the web site is...real. And worst of all...it's serious. No, no, I am not kidding, Republican ketchup REALLY exists. Commie Ketchup dosen't exist until I decide to found it. We'll have varieties, one with Saramago and one with Stalin, for liberal communists and super-authoritarian vulgar socialists: Basically they have in common the fact thery're enemies of USA, you know, and thats cool, cause you know, it's like, man, USA sucks, dude, you know, it's like...mah, man, it just sucks, DUDE! Avril Lavinge dosen't like it either, dude, cause man, she has all this anarchy signs, dude, that makes her sooo cool, cause it's rebel. I think we'll have Avril Lavinge ketchup too.

Now we need slogans for Commie Ketchup. This are the ideas:

1) By red, for reds, IN RED
2) The only truly red ketchup
3) The best sauce for freedom!
4) The ambrosia against alienated work
5) Marx loved it. Do you?
6) Heart blood from heart bleeding liberals


My next project is Ketchup in Woe, the only ketchup for goths. Black coloured and with spikes, it makes whiny sounds when you press it. The slogan could be "Better than wrist cuting" or "Feed your angst".

Then we can have gay ketchup, because you know, if gay energy drink exists, why can't a tasty rainbow colored ketchup?

This is my great project, my slogan: A person, a ketchup. Ketchup for all different types of people, from post-modern art ketchup to rastafari ketchup, including Jesus Died For Your Sins Ketchup, Al Quaeda Super Spicy Ketchup, Chick.com Ketchup, KKK Ketchup, Pope Sauce, White Power Ketchup...hell...WE CAN EVEN HAVE EOFF KETCHUP! Or...things like...Big D and The Captain Fan Club Ketchup...

And then I will create a race of atomic supermen and take over the world.