We're live, outside the Simpson residence. We can't actually SEE inside the house without some sort of infrared camera...so, let's turn it on. - Kent Brockman

Artie Pie: Now he's trying to climb the fence! Wait, now he's trying to get through that pipe, but he's too fat! His legs are kicking comically! Now he's trying to dig his way through like a dog!
Kent: Artie, Artie, are the children OK?
Artie: I can't see through METAL, Kent!

Oh sure, when he does something bad he's MY father. - Homer

No, no, you're in Bronson, Missouri.
Kid: Hey ma, how 'bout some cookies?
Mom: No dice.
Kid: Dis Ain't Ova.

Gangster: I just don't feel like killing anymore, boss.
Fat Tony: I believe I have something to change your mind. *turns back, carves up orange into fake teeth* rawr, rawr!
Gangster: Oh man, that's great. I could kill my own motha after seeing that.
Fat Tony: I'm glad you brought that up.
Gangster: Kill my motha? But she makes such-a good pasta sauce!
Gangster 2: It comes from a can.
Gangster: She's a corpse.

Moe: Oh, alright, a story, eh? Alice In Wonderland...hmm...must be a spinoff of that Alice in Underpants movie I saw.
Maggie *stares blankly*
Moe: Oh, oops....heh, it's so wonderful to have someone to talk to that doesn't understand the horrible things I say.