I can't cook without a cookbook, my mother keeps no cookbooks. I can't cook in this house. But I remeber one day when I was at my father's house, about 10 years ago, I was awoken by a bloodcurdling shriek. I ran into the kitchen to find my father's naked body in a fetal position on the floor, and bacon sizzling in the pan on te stove. Apparently, he hadn't bothered dressing after his intimate night with my mother.